Make us laugh [grin]

Little boy is sent outside to tell Dad tea is ready. Dad is mending the car.

Boy comes back and Mum asks, 'Did Daddy say what's wrong with the car?'
'Yes,' he replies, 'it's got some cake stuck in it.'

When Dad comes in, Mum asks him about this.
'Oh,' he laughs, 'he asked me if it was a hard job to fix and I said, no, it's a piece of cake.'

Those jokes made me laugh but i have just noticed the date
i would like to write a joke, but lets face it there is bugger all to
laugh about at the moment

PPPPP

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.
A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit
came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?"
.
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top
to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust.
After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"
'
Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers,"a quickie, please."
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers,"Um, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

Just told DH that and he's laughing too!

A coffee joke just for LoopLou

A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband "Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back's killing me and my left breast just burns and burns."

He said "I'm gonna help you, Dear. I'll get you some aspirins for the headache, I'll rub your back with Voltarol for the backache, and if you'll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it'll stop burning!"

BOOM BOOM !

pompa
That's another tee shirt I've got to change from spluttering coffee everywhere!

GOLF BALLS
A man got on the bus with both of his trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
Finally, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

I saw this ad in a shop window ... FOR SALE - TV SET - VOLUME STUCK FULL ON - £10 ... I thought, 'I can't turn that down'

nice

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

Me neither.

No!

Jeni, haven't you heard of Tim Vine, brother of Jeremy? Master of the one-liner and holder of the record for the most jokes told in a minute - at least I think it's a minute!

I love Tim Vine jokes!!

Anno

Who?

You aren't by any chance Tim Vine masquerading as a grandad?

Ouch!

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror .. I thought to myself .. 'I’m going to get thrown out of IKEA in a minute' ...

I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went .. and then it dawned on me ...

Hi, fellows. I have posted about 300 jokes on the thread 'This made me laugh' - I like yours too

Bloke goes in a pub with a newt on his shoulder.....orders a pint and a "short for Tiny".....after a few of the same rounds the barman asks "Why do you call him Tiny?"....bloke reply's "Cos he's Minute"...........

Wee D puts cup on arm of sofa and it duly falls to the floor. "What happened?" asks mother. "It slod off" says D.

Mother walks into the kitchen and wee D is standing on the fridge. "What are you doing?" asks mother. Long pause....."This" says D.

Don't grown-ups ask silly questions?!