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Grandads' shed

Make us laugh [grin]

(35 Posts)
pompa Mon 27-Jun-11 11:33:48

Share your funny stories with us, true or fictitious, no mater - just give us all a laugh. They say laughter will make you live longer.

pompa Mon 27-Jun-11 11:36:58

Here are a couple of stories some emailed to me :-

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter - as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.....

I can see Mrs. P doing that now grin
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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him - 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

granto7 Tue 06-Sep-11 22:52:58

joe goes into pub and asks for 6 whiskies
He drinks them straight down
My ....you drank those quick said barman
You would if you had what I have said joe
whats that said barman ..
one pound said joe

jangly Tue 06-Sep-11 22:55:26

They have some good funnies on the Saga website.

I'll just nip over and get one.

jangly Tue 06-Sep-11 22:58:47

The baby pigeon complained to his mother before flying a long distance, 'I can't make it, I'll get too tired.'

His mother replied, 'Don't worry, I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.'

The baby started to cry.

'What's wrong?' asked the mother sympathetically.

'I don't want to end up being pigeon towed.'

jangly Tue 06-Sep-11 22:59:17

Well, it was a short one.

And not rude.

jangly Tue 06-Sep-11 22:59:57

shock

Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned Saga on Gransnet!

granto7 Tue 06-Sep-11 23:09:43

wots saga

Notsogrand Wed 07-Sep-11 00:24:17

A mummy biscuit and a baby biscuit were walking along the road.
The baby biscuit tripped up and was run over by a speeding car.
The mummy biscuit said 'Oh crumbs'

archie Fri 06-Apr-12 20:29:07

Grandad - This tea tastes weak

Nana - It's not yorkshire tea

Grandad - Gnatspiddle

Grandson #1 Where's gnatspiddle

needless to say nana and grandad had a good chuckle smile

Mishap Fri 06-Apr-12 21:17:48

Wee D puts cup on arm of sofa and it duly falls to the floor. "What happened?" asks mother. "It slod off" says D.

Mother walks into the kitchen and wee D is standing on the fridge. "What are you doing?" asks mother. Long pause....."This" says D.

Don't grown-ups ask silly questions?!

Pete Wed 09-May-12 14:58:56

Bloke goes in a pub with a newt on his shoulder.....orders a pint and a "short for Tiny".....after a few of the same rounds the barman asks "Why do you call him Tiny?"....bloke reply's "Cos he's Minute"...........

Greatnan Wed 09-May-12 22:02:22

Hi, fellows. I have posted about 300 jokes on the thread 'This made me laugh' - I like yours too

snapshot Sat 14-Jul-12 19:52:59

I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went .. and then it dawned on me ...

snapshot Sat 14-Jul-12 19:58:54

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror .. I thought to myself .. 'I’m going to get thrown out of IKEA in a minute' ...

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 20:10:48

Ouch!

Annobel Sat 14-Jul-12 20:10:49

You aren't by any chance Tim Vine masquerading as a grandad?

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 20:11:56

Who?

Ella46 Sat 14-Jul-12 20:25:06

Anno grin

snapshot Sat 14-Jul-12 20:31:53

I love Tim Vine jokes!! smile

Annobel Sat 14-Jul-12 20:37:02

Jeni, haven't you heard of Tim Vine, brother of Jeremy? Master of the one-liner and holder of the record for the most jokes told in a minute - at least I think it's a minute!

jeni Sat 14-Jul-12 20:46:41

No!

Anagram Sat 14-Jul-12 20:47:41

Me neither.

snapshot Sun 15-Jul-12 09:25:59

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

JessM Sun 15-Jul-12 10:23:00

nice smile