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Grandads' shed

Gran's Literary Edifice

(12 Posts)
robomonk Wed 17-Jun-15 07:10:10

Ah ha, no one around! Good, I’ll have the work bench to myself.
The Plan: The edifice, literary, whence to storm the barricades of the known and unknown worlds:
Revolution in platonic relationships- robo’s virtual digi-Lego land; a reconstruct of masterful dexterity- a new and powerful literary ‘infra-structure’ the pollies will have to drool over! No, no, no, Yes…
Oh, yes, I will have an assistant- Boris Karloff’s grand-niece’s Lego doll, re-vamped!
‘My darling, extra-nubile, nano-tech plasticated, neo-cyborgised, bluish eyed living doll, you will be my assistant, the focus of my flirtatious advances and amorous yearnings and totally adroit courtship manoeuvres’ (of the Lego species of non-life, free from the reach of the Socialist Brigade Tribunal of Sexism Elimination in Post-Coital Human (hopefully adult) Society in the 21st century.)
When all else fails to satisfy, retreat to the primary defensive home- the garden shed and not the loo- whence to build the Lego world of one’s choice in the hope that the local cannibals will get sick on the toxic nano-tech additives to the identities-who look yummy in any case!
But, will this truly satisfy? Are you not better off with a real live human consort, even if she is a non-sexist feminist of -’The Brigade’? Surely your sexist needs, including the perusal of shapely human female legs, are more important than your instinct to build an edifice, with its phallic symbolism?
Well, no, no, no, yes. Yes, you are right. I will have a lovely assistant sitting next to me and rubbing my soon to be arthritic knees, and making nice cups of tea to fill my soon to be worn, incontinence pads- masculine incontinence pads, naturally. Oh, bliss town, my new edifice, hip, hip hoorah…

Bellanonna Wed 17-Jun-15 07:40:00


hildajenniJ Wed 17-Jun-15 09:14:34

Very sorry isn't it?confused

hildajenniJ Wed 17-Jun-15 09:15:24

Very WORDY I said!!!

Soutra Wed 17-Jun-15 09:26:01

As the Emperor said to Wolfgang Amadeus " Too many notes my dear Mozart", definitely too many words.

Elegran Wed 17-Jun-15 09:32:21

Too much hard work to read and understand. It is the responsibility of a writer to construct a piece that leads the reader from one thought to another, and to rewrite again and again. Throwing a dictionary at the page and letting words and concepts lie where they fall is lazy.

A good piece for demonstrating that though - or for annoying the reader.


robomonk Wed 17-Jun-15 13:15:35

Health warning –not nice, sticky reading –please avoid.

Egad. So I wasn’t alone for long.
O.K. All your comments are received with thanks, I’m polite if nothing else.
Let’s presume I am as impenetrable as a snail in pursuit of the Holy Grail for snails- a pair of spectacles with which to read the morning edition of ‘Snail News’ as writ in the clouds.
The clouds are saying, ’you leave a glistening yet sticky trail, yuck! Clean it up, will you.The snail hunter will catch you if you don’t’.
Tears leave a glistening trail down my cheeks (not at the moment though), I have discovered at long last who I am - an abstruse (not abstract) word user who makes metaphoric (not meteoric) and esoteric references in a soup pot of verbosity on the front burner. I am overjoyed and at peace.
-Elegran- the image-a dictionary blindly cast at the wall, words and concepts-seeds mystically, oracletously splayed upon the floor there to lie until watered by the vacuous, psychic mind of the author as ‘medium’- absolutely genius. You have saved the day.
I kneel before you, albeit, lazily and much to my continuing tearful shame.
But I am what I am. But I will interpose another rendition of The Edifice (Not, ‘The Office’), ‘Mkii’ in fact as a penance and a continuing joy.
Thanks. r

soontobe Wed 17-Jun-15 13:38:42

You make me smile. I think.
Didnt really understand your first piece. Had a bit better time with the second.

There is plenty of room on gransnet to write to your hearts' content.
Not sure that people will keep responding though.
I could be wrong. I am not usually into wordy stuff, and stay well clear. It may be time for me to bow out.

mcem Wed 17-Jun-15 14:34:17

Utterly boring and pretentious!

Elegran Wed 17-Jun-15 14:50:17

It is a common reaction of those who write unreadable and indigestible prose to blame the reader for being unable to decipher it. Emperor's new clothes syndrome.

rosesarered Wed 17-Jun-15 15:59:22

Have we been infiltrated by a bored student somewhere?

Elegran Wed 17-Jun-15 16:02:10

Exams are just about over. Could be.