My four year old grandson "doesn't want me"

My oldest granddaughter was similar age when her parents split up. She was always wanting to leave me and her dad we ask her why she used to say don’t know. It turned out her mum had a bf who she then married he tried all ways to cut us out of her life. And saying things about us. My son had to fight for his daughter through courts this guy went on trying to stop us even though we had court rights. Granddaughter is now a different girl now her mum divorce this man 2yrs ago she is now 13. My advice would be make sure your son gets his rights in court before his ex meets someone else and if your grandson wants to go home just let him go and tell him you love him and see him soon as kids change their minds every 5 mins they don’t realise that they hurting you plus he’s still getting over the change in his life of his dad not being there. My granddaughter is always changing her mind if her friends have a better offer. But don’t take it personally because that’s life

Sorry, in the words of Victor Meldrew ""I don't believe it".

It must be so hard for children when they are struggling with their own emotions, anxieties and fears in the midst of a split. I agree with jangly, I think the love is there from the start, but it can be jettisoned or buried when they are just trying to survive emotionally and so much of what they thought they could trust is being swept away. You can only go on being there for them and assuring them you love them and always will.

Germanshepherdsmum

But true.

Yes and sometimes the truth is harsh. I’d be mortified if a grown son of mine acted like that. His poor children.

Thank you everyone. I posted in distress. You’ve helped me feel much worse. Goodbye

Germanshepherdsmum

But true.

Sorry, meant to quote Germanshepherdsmum

Yes, and straight to the point.

👍

mumofmadboys

Very harsh Grams2five.

Yes, straight to the point.

👍

But true.

Very harsh Grams2five.

Readerjb

My son is now living apart from his family, as wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want. Baby is now ten months old.Son is happy for me to mind her once a week now mother is back at work. But I’m struggling to bond with her, given she is so central to their split, and feel conflicted, as she looks exactly like my son at the same age

You’re struggling yo bond with a sweet baby because your son forgot that unzipping his trousers was his choice ? How bizarre. If my son had split up his family over an unintended pregnancy and was acting as though she did it against his wishes I’d give him
A firm dressing down and express what a disappointment he was , as it turns out as both a son and a father and then I’d lend my support to his ex wife and children wherever possible. Struggling to bond with baby as if the baby and not your son , who was a willing participant in the baby making act were the problem.

Cossy

Ooops forgot to read the date AGAIN WHY do these old posts suddenly pop ??

Ugh yes. So sorry everyone. I must learn to check the dates !

I imagine he’s just adjusting. Could it be he’s used to having been with his mummy full time, and now your son has him weekends and you see him Sundays - by Which hes not been able to be with his mummy in two days and he simply prefers her and wants to go home? I know at that age it’s
Of our grands would have been heartbroken to be away from mummy for a few days at a time seems just a very attached age.

.

He must have had some part in this pregnancy?
Then leaves his wife and family because she wanted another baby and he didn't.

You can't bond with her because this child, who did not ask to be born is central to their split?

What a shallow person he sounds and you are blaming an innocent child for your son's appalling behaviour.
He needs a kick ip the a*se.
Sorry, in the words of Victor Meldrew ""I don't believe it".

Exactly Grandmabatty. My son also looks like my horrible ex but that doesn’t stop me loving him either. In fact he is the reason I can never regret the marriage. I didn’t care for the phrase ‘wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want’. That infers that he wanted her to have a termination. Whatever the circumstances, the son doesn’t come out of this well and neither does the grandmother. Poor unwanted and unloved baby.

Your son needs to give his head a wobble. Babies take two to exist. It's not a vulnerable wee baby's fault for existing. And that goes for you too, I'm sorry to say. My son looked identical to his father, my exh. It didn't stop me loving him. If you can't love that child unconditionally, stop childcare. What happens to the other two children? Do you see them as better? Does the mum know you look after baby number three? Or are you doing it when your ds has custody! There's a lot missing from your post.

My son is now living apart from his family, as wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want. Baby is now ten months old.Son is happy for me to mind her once a week now mother is back at work. But I’m struggling to bond with her, given she is so central to their split, and feel conflicted, as she looks exactly like my son at the same age

Let’s hope this 17 year old and his Grandma are now enjoying each other’s company and he’s not still whining and asking to go home to mummy each time he visits. If he is I’d definitely put my foot down 😀

Ooops forgot to read the date AGAIN WHY do these old posts suddenly pop ??

Our only little monkey grandson did exactly the same, his parents are still together. He’s 9 now and back to normal. Please try not too worry

Please can anyone tell me how these old posts get resurrected
Whenever I try to find an old post even 6 months old it won’t allowed me any further
What magic do these people have ? how do they find them ? and how do they resurrect them ?
Sone teckky will be able to tell me I hope, as I m always curious about this

Once again, people who do not read any other posts! The ‘child’ is now 17!

NanaTuesday

Dordor

Sadly my son and his wife split up 6 months ago. Their four year old son still lives with his mother and step brothers but his Dad has him at weekends. They visit us on Sundays, usually. The last few times my grandson has been very whiny and kept asking to go home. Today he kept saying he didn't want me any more, didn't want to be my friend (or to be friends with my daughter's family) or to see us ever again. I did light-heartedly ask him why, as did his Dad, but got nowhere. It wasn't dreadful, just sad, and we both cajoled him and were cheerful but he clearly felt it was important. Was he testing me to make sure I love him when his world has been so strange lately, or is something else?

Dordor
Remember this is a lot of change for a 4 year old , maybe that’s all it is . Just continue to be his Nana & I’m sure all will be fine .

He's seventeen now.

Dordor

Sadly my son and his wife split up 6 months ago. Their four year old son still lives with his mother and step brothers but his Dad has him at weekends. They visit us on Sundays, usually. The last few times my grandson has been very whiny and kept asking to go home. Today he kept saying he didn't want me any more, didn't want to be my friend (or to be friends with my daughter's family) or to see us ever again. I did light-heartedly ask him why, as did his Dad, but got nowhere. It wasn't dreadful, just sad, and we both cajoled him and were cheerful but he clearly felt it was important. Was he testing me to make sure I love him when his world has been so strange lately, or is something else?

Dordor
Remember this is a lot of change for a 4 year old , maybe that’s all it is . Just continue to be his Nana & I’m sure all will be fine .

Blimey, how did this post get resurrected.

This post states it was posted on Sun 08-May-11 17:52:43

This is either a very old post or a mistake.