OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES

Many years ago around october/november my beloved grandson asked me "nana you know my nanny carol well she's got a face like a leaf" This really stumped me I just didn't get it so I said "what do you mean,"? back came the wonderful reply ..." Her face is all brown and crinkly"

A letter that I read in a woman's magazine amused me.

The writer said that her granddaughter was watching her apply her make up. Her granddaughter asked why she was doing this and the lady said "To make me look beautiful". After she'd finished, the little girl said "It didn't work, did it nanny".

DH has been quite deaf for 10 years and I'm always telling our GC to shout at him to get his attention.GS aged 5 said this week "It's about time he got a hearing grenade itsn't it Nanny?
I know he needs a rocket up part of his anatomy at times.

Love her! [mygrannycanfly]

It was my birthday yesterday.

The DD came over, clutching gifts and a small GD. Concentrating furiously, Ginger GD (GDD) solemnly and self-importantly handed over a slender wrapped parcel with the air of one very conscious of her responsibilities. “What do we say?” prompted DD.

The GGD brow furrowed, her eyes glazed. The tension was palpable. You could feel the coaching, the desire to complete the allotted task; the unspoken pressure of parental expectation.

GGD leaned forward and gazed earnestly into my face. Her eyes held mine. She quivered like a well trained gun dog. In a voice quietly commanding, throbbing with the intensity of her emotions, she said.

“Open it.”

DGS now thinks mummy has ants in her tummy as she had the tummy bug and they have ants in the kitchen!!!!!

Hattie is planning a teddy bears' picnic for her 5th birthday party and is going to gave 'Dancing like a teddy bear' musical statues. Apparently, ill win because I look Luke a teddy bear.

My 2.1/2 year old DGS has a tummy upset today. His mum said that he could eat when the tummy bug had gone. He is sitting, looking at his tummy waiting for the 'ladybird' to emerge. He is going to have a long wait.

My grandson-in-law posted on FB yesterday, that he had been showing Zara, aged 4, how to fillet a fish. She asked where its eyes were, and he told her they had gone when the head was cut off. 'Oh', she said in a concerned way 'is it all right?' I love my great grandchildren!

She wasn't quite a babe - more like twenty something, but an article about goat meat in the paper yesterday reminded me of my daughter.
We kept goats when she was small and ate quite a lot of goat meat, along with the milk and cheese. By the time she was 14 she had turned vegetarian. Some years ago there was a big fuss because the Queen had been served goat while she was in Italy. My daughter was quite bemused and said "So don't English people eat goat then?" I could only reply that no, most of them don't and you can't pick it off the supermarket shelf.

Well, we have all had things that fell into our mouths - like a glass of wine or two!

Youngest GS, swings on kitchen doors [if you get my meaning]
Me please don"t swing as you might break them , bearing in mind the kitchen was only refitted about 18 months or so ago .
Later on , Grandad , I wished they belonged to you then I could swing .

He"s a little scamp.

Grandad , these sweets are for the journey home , 10 mins. later
Grandad says why are you eating the sweeties ? they are for the car ride .
GS They fell into my mouth .

"Those are very nice pearls, Granny". I knew the sub-text!

My four year old gd coveted one of my rings. I jokingly said she would have to wait until I died. The conversation then went:
GD: Nana, how old are people when they die.
Me; Oh, quite old, about 90.
GD: How old are you, Nana?

I had it reset with a new gold band and gave it to her for her 18th!

It's very, very windy today. Heard in the street from a small boy blowing along behind his Daddy, 'Did somebody leave the door open?'

Sitting here with tears of laughter running down my face - thank you, fellow grandparents, for a damn good laugh!

The first story was similar to something that happened to me when my first two were playing up at bed time and I had spread green face mask all over my face. Exasperated I flew into the bed room and told them off. I too heard the word 'What was that?' must be a common thing had me in stitches

I was in the public toilets and had taken my 3 year old GD with me. I had to change a pad at the time. She was minding her own business (I thought) when she suddenly announced in a shrill voice "GRANDMA YOU ARE WEARING A NAPPY LIKE L..." (her little brother) I waited until I heard the other toilets vacated before I crept out.

I was in Mothercare with my 3 year old no.1 DS when he lifted a rather large ladies skirt up who was inspecting the socks on the lower rack in the shop and declared "Look mummy, lady has a big bottom!" - quick apology from me and a quick exit then a short lecture.

On a bus with my 9 month old no.1DS (yes him again) when he grabbed the ladies hair who was occupying the seat in front of us and to my horror she was wearing a wig. Oh the shame of the next 1/2 hr on the bus and the poor woman.

The children were sitting a the table waiting for their tea when my No 1 DD put a plastic bag on her head. I grabbed the bag and said 'Do you want to suffocate' my No 1 DS (him again) looked up and stated 'Yes please I want some SUFFO CAKE too please mummy'.

I am sure that with 5 children and almost 11 grandchildren there will be many more tales.

I have always thought we should all have evolved by now to have zips down our fronts.

absent and me!

TwiceAsNice It's too small from any angle if you ask me.

What a wonderful thread.

My three-year-old GS once informed me that he'd lost his voice the previous week.
"Where did it go?" I asked.
He frowned thoughtfully. "I think it went down the toilet."

Flower - At least the job is done now!

My two year old DGS lay down on my DD lounge floor and announced 'My house dirty mummy, you clean it now' The 'mess' was his toys from end to end.

When my no1 DS was 12 he came home from school in a foul mood, stormed upstairs and I could hear him crying in his bedroom. I went up and asked what was wrong. He weepily told me that he was worried about sex. I took the bull by the horns (no pun intended) and went through the whole lot from erections, wet dreams, condoms anything related to sex I could think of that a twelve year old should know. When I had finished my diatribe he looked at me and said -" Thanks mum that was interesting but I was worried about E - his sister, being in a higher set in maths than me, that's all! Oops!

More to follow

Nearly 4year old dgd,s playing gd1 knocked against gd2 sorry M she said. That,s ok G said M, accidents happen!

Years ago their mother aged 4 asked how her brother was going to be born, she was in the bath at the time. When I explained where the baby would come out she stood up in the bath, looked between her legs and said" Don!t be stupid it,s too small" I guess it was from her angle!