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Moving house to be near grandchildren.

(12 Posts)
supermum48 Mon 16-May-11 16:15:07

My daughter lives in Hampshire and we live in Cheshire. We have 1 grandaughter and another due shortly. We try to visit once a month but it is not enough as for 2 years they lived in the same road as us and we saw them almost daily. We really miss that and are considering moving to Hampshire. Has anybody else moved to be near thir family? We would miss our friends tremendously, but the bond with family is greater. People have told me that we would be foolish to move as the family may not stay there for ever, and that it would be difficult to make new friends in a new area now that we are older. We would like to hear your experiences if you have had a similar dilemma.

granmouse Mon 16-May-11 16:33:14

We did this supermum.We lived in North Yorkshire and moved to Shropshire when my daughter married and moved there.It was her suggestion though.She told us she wante to start a family quickly and wished we lived nearer.We were already looking for a smaller house so the chang of location wasnt a problem.That was 6 years ago and now ,with 2 adorable grandsons up the road, we are so glad we did it.We were 61 and 69 when we moved.

grannyrosie Mon 16-May-11 17:42:35

I retired from working in London two years ago and moved to the North of England at my son and daughter in laws suggestion - the idea was that they would look after me if I became ill and when they started a family I would be able to help out with some of the childcare.

Sadly they lost their first baby last year after 6 days. They are now expecting a baby in November.

I miss the South a lot and also my friends but at the end of the day I think family is important. I make trips down South on a fairly regular basis to catch up with my friends down there. Am glad I made the move.

PoppaRob Tue 17-May-11 06:54:20

I'm in Adelaide, South Australia, which is a city with a suburban area that runs north-south wedged between hills on one side and the sea on the other. I was living in the northern suburbs but a year or so after my marriage bust-up my daughter announced she was expecting her first bub so I moved 100Km south to be closer to her and my son in law. I didn't want to be living in their pockets, so I moved one suburb south of them, which is 12Km by road but because it's a semi-rural area with 100Km/h speed limits it's only 10 minutes away. They get the advantage of having me provide daycare for my grand-daughter for half of what commercial childcare would cost and I get the advantage of being a big part of her life. It's a definite win/win for us all.

Eleanorre Thu 19-May-11 22:51:48

If you do move the one thing to do is join everything . We moved back to my husband's hometown after 40 years . We have met so many people who have moved to our small town knowing nobody ( not even their children nearby) and the ones who settled down have been the people who go out and work in the charity shop etc. I have a neighbour who lost her husband and is so isolated as they just spent time with each other.I can go shopping and take hours as I meet so many people to speak to.She goes down town and knows nobody .

jackyann Fri 20-May-11 15:54:54

You don't say if there are other children / potential grandchildren to put in the mix.
We have moved near to some family & managed to be within 90 minutes' drive of most important family members - that's the distance I reckon I can easily do for a day's visit (although a bit far for frequent child-minding)
I said that although I could just make my social life around the family here, I would make the effort to go out & meet others, and it has been great - a good mix.

supermum48 Fri 20-May-11 16:49:38

Thank you all for your comments. My son is also down in Hampshire in Southampton, but has no children. We would be most likely to go to the Hartley Wintney/Fleet area close to my daughter and grandchildren and about 40 minutes from my son. I would certainly want to get to know some people in the area and try and develop a social life. I thought of u3a and the Methodist Church as a starting point, but if anybody lives in that area and has any suggestions that would be great. I must say whenever I have been visiting, people seem to be very friendly.

jackyann Mon 23-May-11 17:28:28

Some friends of our generation who moved for similar reasons decided to try out their local churches "anonymously" (I also had a Quaker friend who did the same, once a month!). Lifelong Baptists, they felt that the Methodist church reflected their view on life & desire to serve the community, so that is where they are "covenanted" (I think that's the expression?) and join in with a very active outreach programme that suits them very well.

I got a smart phone for various reasons, and downloaded one of the "notepad" things (I use Evernote). I made a page for each village or activity & a couple of general ones. When I chat to someone, learn their name or something about them, I make a note.
I used to be very good at remembering things about people (indeed it was my trade-mark!) but it is has declined with age (!). Although it sounds ultra-organised, it only takes moments, then I can ask after a grandchild or something going on locally.

cmcpne Tue 24-May-11 10:09:18

We made the ultimate sacrifice and moved from Lancashire to Yorkshire 7 years ago to be near enough for child minding. I gave up work but my husband got a transfer and we've survived!
It was exciting learning all about our new area and there are so many new places to visit plus being near my grandchildren is the best thing in the world.
Miss being close to the lake district but friends are still friends wherever you are.

Totrirulody Tue 24-May-11 19:06:49

I am moving back from France to England as I miss my grandchildren too much and I look at all the time I could spend with them now that I am retired. I moved here to please my husband but I think my heart was never in the move. By the way I am actually French but my children and their children are in UK. I can't wait to be back, do the school run, the swimming lesson, the half term, the sick day, anything.........

tjspompa Tue 24-May-11 21:50:44

We have a similar dilemma, our daughter and grandson live in the Midlands, we live on the east Coast and love the sea. We would love to see more of our Grandson, but would hate to live that far from the coast, also our son lives near Hull, is getting married soon, so we may have grandchildren in that area sometime. While i can still drive we are staying put and visiting as often as possible. Later we will re-assess the situation. Also, we have no idea where jobs may take our children. As far as making friends, so long as you work at it, join local organisations etc. new friends will soon come.

Nanna4 Thu 02-Jun-11 14:43:50

We have just recently moved back to Bristol to be nearer to family. we moved to Devon 7years ago at the time no grandchildren, we made many friends and both had jobs we enjoy part time. However the pull of grandchildren was always there, and we were constantly up and down the motorway and never at home when not working.

So we moved in March it is lovely being near our daughter and her 2 girls and we are only 2 hours away from our son who also has 2 daughters. The house we have is lovely but needs some work, in the present climate we are finding it more difficult to get work we both work in the health service, so money is tight. But over all I think the benefits out way the struggles, we just need to get out there and meet people.