parenting or grandparenting

I think you may want to say 'no' sometimes (or even more often than that), don't you? You are really tired and if your health isn't all that good, it's all the more important that you don't give in to perhaps rather selfish demands from your daughter. I know how I feel after my little great-grandson has been here for a couple of hours once a week, and that's when his mum is here with him! Time to think of yourself, rhoda590. Your DH will surely appreciate a bit of a quieter time, too.

I think that you need to have a quiet word with your daughter, and point out that you are feeling the strain of having the grandchildren so often, ie your health is suffering. It could be that she has just got used to you always being there and takes it for granted that you are happy to carry on. At the end of the day they are HER children and responsibility. We all want to do as much as we can for our children and grandchildren, but you must make a stand. Could you suggest that you will have the children for one night a week, and maybe have them for a weekend every couple of months or so. Take control of this situation and get some ground rules in place. I know it's easier to say it than to do it, but you really can't go on as you are.

Thank you for advice , i am really in need of it, i have got used to parenting the GC, i adore them and will do anything i can to make them happy but sometimes i just wish for a break. I make sure they have good meals, good fun. i think establishing a one night a week stay for a while would be good. The guilt i feel at not having them often is bad but i will have to live with that and sort it out.
i also work and lately have been told my sick leave is unacceptable, i need to get well but constantly feel pulled in all directions.
Thanks everyone, xxx

Once your children have children they have to accept that they can't have every weekend to themselves and us oldies do get really tired. My DIL does not assume that I will always be there and asks me well in advance if sleepovers are required because of school training days etc.

You must have been a very giving and forgiving mother and now grannie - wonderful for them all to use you as where they want to be. They will grow up all too quickly. From someone who longs to be all the things you are to her grandchildren, one of whom she has never seen, try and stick with it.

I do hope things change for the better Nanban. I know what it's like to have that gap in your life, as I am not seeing my grandson at the moment - it's only been a couple of weeks since I saw him for ten minutes, but ex-DIL gets nasty every now and again and withdraws contact. If only they would see things through the eyes of their children.