When is old enough for the naughty step? (if ever)

Yes definitely too young - they don't understand the concept of 'naughty' at that age. D3 tried it with Nell at that age and she just thought it was a funny game - when threatened with the step she just said 'yeth peese' and jumped on it! As you say, the naughty step hadn't been invented in our time so we used alternative methods. I think it was that 'nanny' Jo who thought it up - enough said

Too young. He wouldn't be normal if he didn't spill his drinks and chuck food about at that age. His parents just have to take all that in their stride and stay calm. They could take his cup away for a bit if he seems to be doing it on purpose. I never used a naughty step with my three but I did sometimes set things up (made everything safe; got toys out they hadn't seen for a bit, etc) so that they would be happy to play alone in their room for a little while, calmly. Usually that was all that was needed.

As he is No. 1 I think they are expecting too much too soon - a month ago he was still their "baby" but now they are exhibiting classic "eldest child expectations"symptoms.I can remember when DD2 was born and DD1 was 2 (and quite a terrible 2) , I found myself expectng her to behave "sensibly" like a big sister - with hindsight I can see how ridiculous that was!

Yes too young. If tipping drink on floor, take it away calmly.
If dropping food on floor, take food away and end the meal.
Exploring and trying things out to see what gets the adults responding at that age. Ignore, keep calm, remove offending objects, distract etc.
I am very anti the N word - if people keep saying No, why are they surprised when 2.5 year olds say it all the time?
"I'd like you to..." "Please will you..." does not train them to do this.

Agree with all of the above but my most helpful tip is always ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. It has always worked for me. Just take away the offending article and walk away or turn away. Then reward the good behaviour with lots of chat, games love and cuddles. Works every time.

Quite right. The tricky thing to get is that any attention can act as a reward. So ignoring can be more powerful. Getting a reaction, any reaction can reward behaviour. Tricky...

Buy an unspillable beaker?

No naughty step, but a quiet space for 'time out' or a 'calm down' place where there's nowhere to fuel the event with more attention. If one 3 year old hits the other 3 year old and doesn't say 'sorry' then does it again immediately, he is told 'no hitting' and taken to 'time out' where he is supervised from a reasonable distance so he doesn't turn it into a play opportunity. If he speaks, he's told to 'have a think about not hitting your brother again' and time out continues. When time is up - 3 minutes - he is told to say 'sorry' and give a cuddle to show he means it, then play can continue. I find supernanny useful for some things but she can be a bit confrontational when it's not needed.

Before the age of 18 months to 2 years, there's no point using time out, naughty steps or whatever - they don't understand. Just ignore poor behaviour and praise good behaviour.

There's one or two adults I wouldn't mind sending to the naughty step!

Maybe start a thread for nominations petallus ?

George Osborne will be sitting on that naughty step for the next few years, if I have my way!

Not me!

My dear mum always said that bad behaviour was learnt at home and would not accept any other explaination.

So glad you all agree!! Have dropped in my tactful opinion to DD and said how well they have always dealt with him up to now, continue the same etc etc. Have just got back from a day and 2 nights with them, and from what I have seen (and speaking as the mother of 3 *esp DD*) if they think that is giving them a hard time - they ain't seen nothin' yet!!!

Never a fan of naughty steps....and also never actually had the need with my two (no angels honest, well they are but you know what I mean) but I perfected my 'Mummy is really not happy with that...you had better stop NOW' look to perfection. Also I really tended to nip things in the bud so there was not much need for the huge drama of official punishmnet. If you try to work toward rewarding them by a bit of attention when they are actually being good, and it often only needs a quick look in their direction and a comment or nod of interest (real or faked), the need for hands-on intervention do diminish. I think we had a few sessions of 'if you can't play together nicely then you better go to your rooms' but one would always drift back down and as long as I got a genuine(ish) 'sorry Mum' I would let them back again. Then the other one would return to see what was happening and also have to aplogise. Both girls prefered happy Mum to grumpy Mum so we usually muddled along fairly well.

Most small children play-up after the arrival of a younger sibling. It is only natural. If mischievious behaviour is following the new arrival it is because he is insecure and unsettled by what has happened and the best way of dealing with that is lots of extra hugs and kisses and reassurances that his mummy and daddy love him very much and a real effort to give him lots of quality time when baby sibling is asleep.

I so agree. I remember when DD no. 2 was born, eldest DD was 2 ,and a good friend came to see the baby - (she should have known better),and made the classic blunder of zooming over to the crib and gushing over the baby (asleep) while DD no. 1 stood in the corner with a face like thunder, but also a bit lost. I have always vowed never to do that!
I waited until DD took LF to nursery yesterday before I could have a proper cuddle with LB (little bro) - he's gorgeous, but so is his big brother and to be frank, I think he needs cuddles more as reassurance that we still love him (apart from the obvious maternal / parental cuddling etc) - why do I feel guilty saying that - it is true!

During my training to teach pre-school children a psychologist explained sibling rivalry thus - Imagine your husband comes home one day saying....'darling we have such a lovley marriage, I've brought home another wife to make us even happier, you must love her as much as I do and she is to share all your clothes'....kind of explains how some children get a bit upset.

Brilliantly put HildaW

Absolutely HildaW - I know how most of us would react - mind you if she was good at ironing, hoovering, washing up and cooking, I might forgive her.(OH and she'd have to be fatter too)

....and even untidier than I am.