My daughters' family planning choices are absolutely nothing to do with me. I am a sort of 'you sow what you reap' kinda person. Thus, my daughters were brought up by my husband and I to be loving, thoughtful and responsible women and we have developed a family dynamic that suits us well in what is often a very complicated world. At no point did we sit down and discuss it in any organised way. Its grown from the loving and, importantly, mutually respectful relationships that we have for each other.
Certainly there has been the odd occassion when some quite precise arrangements have had to be made e.g. looking after elder GS whilst new baby was being born, but apart from that we rub along as best we can. But they are the parents, we are the Grandparents the roles are quite distinct and just as I would not have expected my Mother to be briefed as to her her expected role, my daughter would not dream of telling me what she expected of me. In fact I think my Mum would have raised her eyebrows and said something about the making of beds and lieing in them! Sounds a bit harsh perhaps but I would have understood, she saw my decision to have a child as my choice and was 'none of her business'.
