Help me to understand

Absolutely right gracemum & when I had a copy of Clare Rayner's 'Childcare Made Easy'. It did not make it easy but it was a simple handbook that helped me decide when to panic and when not! Advice not instruction!

All they are good for!

gracesmum

Gina Ford and Alice Beer's book - Contented Little Baby - fantastic for propping up the wobbly corner of the cot!!

I hope this particular "teacup storm" has now passed - it seems to me that some overheatng has occurred and presumably satsum is now on happy terms with her MIL again. Not worth us falling out over it.
Speaking for the granny, I feel sorry for her- yes perhaps she was heavy handed if well meaning but haven't we all been in the position where nothing we could do was right? On a babysit a year or so back I once (foolishly) advised D to feed 5 month old Littlest Fella when she got in and he was crying, albeit 15 minutes too early for her "routine" a la Gina Ford. OMG - I got "Mum, he''s my baby and I will decide when I feed him" Ouch!
Ages ago I suggested the dichotomy of "Hands on Gran" as opposed to "Hands off, Gran". It is very hard to get that balance right, A newish Mum is very sensitive and we too have also all been in that situation. All I can say is that they will learn!

Press the 123 key then the +# etc that will give you the square brackets at the top left.

Press

Just a little thought occurred to me,Satsum,MiL was on your territory,and you felt empowered,would it help for a little while for MIL to visit you,so the balance is in your favour until she gets used to the idea......sending smiles as I haven't worked out the emoticons on my iPad yetxxxxxxx

I must admit that I was slightly suspicious of the "my MIL would run out of the room." I believe that satsum was exaggerating and possibly meant rushed out of the room. I could be wrong but being a fairly agile grandmother who only recently jumped on the trampoline with my grandson, plus able to stride up hills without missing a beat, I would find it quite difficult to run out of rooms, while holding a baby. My daughter has also had the experience of two women (one in her twenties) at different times not giving back her baby when he was crying as they thought they could settle him, one telling her to relax. It is far from relaxing hearing your baby crying for you. Parents do need to speak up for their babies, as some grandparents have had to do for their grandchildren and some have also written about their concerns for their grandchildren.

I also agree satsum was right to ask advice but must expect some will see the problem differently and not just agree.

I also would say gillybob don't stay away. I read a thread the other day and there was not one newish poster. I have also noticed less posts per day, maybe I am wrong here, but in the last day there were 38 discussions, there used to be anything up to sixty and over.

I think the OP came on GN asking what Gn-ers thought because she wanted to confront and solve her problem without a hostile confrontation. I'm glad that it looks as if she succeeded.

As in complin

Like you jeni I don't like confrontation, but will stick up for myself if I have to. I prefer not to row and enjoy a peaceful life.

If you are using the word in the context of trying to solve a problem, you might say you were 'confronting the issue', which wouldn't necessarily imply hostility.

I suppose now I'm going to get another patronising lecture on the difference between Chambers and the OED!

And the first meaning in the OED is: stand or meet face to face with hostile intent.

I am sure that is how most people see confrontation.

What a shame some people feel it necessary.

Agree!

Agreed

Confrontations need not contain anger. Disagreement is not the same as anger.

One of the meanings of the verb 'to confront', according to Chambers, is 'to compare'. Therefore, it is possible to have an amicable confrontation, otherwise known as a discussion, full of widely varying viewpoints and ideas. I think this is what we aim at on GN.

Every so often we have a minor falling out on GN. It is natural occurrence and it soon blows over. Lots of people with strong opinions and we are learning how to build a community via the written word, without the benefit of non verbal communication (emoticons a poor substitute).
Sometimes a thread like this touches a nerve and we react quite strongly. It happens to all of us sooner or later. Forceful opinions inevitably bring out strong reactions in others.

It was ALL interesting reading!
I tend to be non-confrontational myself and try to use humour to defuse situations. I REALLY DO NOT LIKE rows! But will defend myself if all else fails!

I therefore can sympathise with anyone else who is the same!

Hear, hear! The thread would have been far less interesting without the different views expressed.

Noooo! Don't keep away gillybob. We are all entitled to our opinions, especially when expressed respectfully. It would be bland and boring if we all agreed exactly on whatever issues are being discussed. We can choose which threads we want to post on and which we wish to avoid. Some threads I skip over and have a look at a few days later as they evolve and then feel I want to make a comment. It's my choice, and the same applies to you. Post on whatever thread you want to

No, I was not suggesting that you said "get over it" only that there have been occasions (not this thread) where that was my first reaction when I was battling bigger problems.

Oh Gilly don't stay away please. Ignore those who are nasty or fight back, it is their problem not yours and your voice of reason is appreciated by many of us I'm sure.

Your comments are not hysterical or nasty, they are reasoned and you can see beyond the obvious which is not always very common. I beleive that in this case you wanted the OP to keep her good relationship with her MiL and you could see a danger of damage to that because of some of the postings which implied MiL was not a nice person or had problems'.

Don't let the vociferous ones get you down.

Oh dear Elegran I was under the impression that the "advice" I offered (treat the situation with a little humour and very gently etc) was genuine. Pardon me if, as you say "it wasn't helpful".

At no time did I say or even imply "get over it" as you suggest.

..........one thing you did say that makes sense though.

Perhaps I should keep away as there seems to be a lot of nastiness on this forum that I quite frankly don't need.