More pain for long distance Grandparents

hopeful there will be lots of gains from seeing the baby when he or she is a few months old, but meanwhile have you got Skype so you could look in and see how things are going? It is tough, I know

Ditto Jess - that says it all.

A big hug for you hopeful it is really tough isn't it.

Hopeful - you can hardly blame your SiL for prioritising his parents who must be equally eager to be with their grandchildren. Your DD probably thinks she is being considerate to you because of your travelling difficulties and at least she is coming to stay (although travelling with a lively baby poses quite challenge) albeit too soon for the baby's birthday. An early celebration would be all the same to him as babies don't know about birthdays even if you do. Lucky boy could have two celebrations! And Christmas with the two wee ones will be such fun. Surely your DD thinks it will be a real treat for you. Something to look forward to

hopeful - I am so sorry to read of your disappointment. Like janeainsworth, my grandchildren live in the States, and it can be really difficult at times to maintain an up-beat and positive attitude. Ana makes some really good points. Christmas would be lovely, but it is probably the most expensive time to travel, so earlier or even a little later might be better.
I didn't see my granddaughter until she was 6 months old, and it was a delight. I didn't feel I had missed anything at all and at that age they are very responsive.
I've just spent a crazy 10 mins. on Google Hangout (an alternative to skype) - and it was lovely just to see their (very grubby) faces!
I try not to feel resentment against the big Italian family that all live close by - but I must admit there are times it creeps in! I try to maintain the attitude that it is as it is and know my grandchildren are lucky to have them around.
Take care

I'm sure your daughter has no idea how hurt and upset you are, hopefulnanny - she's probably just trying to include you as much as possible in the circumstances, knowing that travelling as a family is difficult for you. It must be disappointing that your grandson won't be here for his first birthday, but at least you will see both of them, and why not celebrate early anyway? Don't you think Christmas in Australia would be wonderful? The new baby will only be 7 months old...

Oh dear I am so sorry, Hopefulnanny, we too have grandchildren far away, in the States. I know how hard it is when you don't get to see them.
The only thing I would say is never say anything in anger which could cause a rift. Give it a bit of time and then maybe you could suggest to your daughter you could perhaps go sooner than Christmas.