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Biting problem

(20 Posts)
yogagran Fri 15-Feb-13 11:53:54

My DGS (aged 2 and a bit) has started biting his sister (age 4)

Obviously we have told him that it's not acceptable behaviour and it really hurts. I don't think that it's caused by frustration or anger as he's normally such a sunny character

Does anyone have any experience of this problem and could perhaps point me and my DD in the right direction to help solve the problem?

nanaej Fri 15-Feb-13 12:23:07

In what situations does this occur? Is it part of a 'rough and tumble' , random biting for no apparent reason, when he thinks things are unfair?

I know you say you do not think it is frustration but my DD1 bit a little boy at the end of an afternoon of play. As we were saying goodbye she just reached out grabbed his arm and bit him. I was mortified ..never did it before or after. However during the afternoon every thing she had wanted to use and he decided she couldn't was put away by his mum. My DD was used to me saying she had to share when friends came round. Think it was her showing her anger at the difference in house rules! They were 3 ish at the time.

p.s boy and DD are now married & have two children

Movedalot Fri 15-Feb-13 12:40:12

Just a suggestion, could she have done it to him when no one was looking? I knew a child at nursery who bit another but it turned out that he had been bitten so thought that was the thing to do. Some little girls can be quite devious grin

Mishap Fri 15-Feb-13 12:41:28

At age 2 they are still exploring the world and they try new things out to see what happens - it may not be an aggressive act as such, but just trying out a new activity!

If he is taken away from the scene of the crime with a firm "No" and a bit of non-punitive time out he will work out that this is what happens when you bite someone.

We interpret the act as being dreadful, but he may just be having a go at something new.

vampirequeen Fri 15-Feb-13 14:44:17

Try saying NO and then not giving him any attention whilst you lavish attention on his victim. Most children hate to be ignored esp when another is getting all the attention.

Nelliemoser Fri 15-Feb-13 17:00:08

Th two yr old girl who lived next door twice took a bite out of my DD when DD was only a few months old.

Once she bit DD on the cheek and later on when DD was in her high chair picked up DDs hand a bit her fingers.

DS was, to say the least. not always very nice to his baby sister but never seemed to try biting.

Its probably best to explain that hurting someone makes them feel sad and that she would probably feel sad if someone did it to her.

This way of dealing with such incidents was used very calmly and kindly by a reception class teacher who's class I helped in. It seemed very effectively aimed at their level of understanding.

Mishap It really gets you as a parent though having to "rescue" your baby with teeth marks on her fingers!

nanapug Fri 15-Feb-13 17:29:15

My GC bites when she is teething. My DD just turns away and ignores it, but it is hard to get a young child to do that. Certainly make a fuss of the child that has been bitten and ignore the biter. Bet you he has some big teeth coming through.

Nelliemoser Fri 15-Feb-13 18:10:50

I remember that those first teeth are like little razors and when they bite into a nipple it hurts!!!!.

Right now DGS has just learnt about grabbing hair and seemed to find it very funny when mummy yelped. She now has to suffer in silence. grin

Rookiegran Fri 15-Feb-13 22:18:39

Lots of children do bite and its usually a matter of drumming it into the child that it is wrong and more importantly making sure there is always a consequence to his bitting, eg naughty chair for 5 minutes.

Deedaa Fri 15-Feb-13 22:54:53

Most of them do seem to go through a biting stage at this sort of age. There isn't usually anything nasty about it - it's just what they do. Explaining that it is not a nice thing to do and providing distractions seems to work after a while. I'm sure I remember biting mine to show them what it felt like, but perhaps that's just wishful thinking. hmm

numberplease Fri 15-Feb-13 23:24:16

I used to bite mine to show them what it felt like. Probably frowned on nowadays though.

vampirequeen Fri 15-Feb-13 23:52:57

I bit my oldest daughter when she was 5 because she kept biting her 1 year old sister. I tried everything. Talking, explaining, time out, naughty step but nothing stopped her until the day I bit her. She never bit anyone again.

Deedaa Sat 16-Feb-13 22:47:02

A quick demonstration works well with pinching and hair pulling too. "Ouch" says an aggrieved voice "That hurts" - exactly!!

nightowl Sat 16-Feb-13 22:55:03

I'm not sure about this; isn't it a bit of a mixed message? I'll bite you but you mustn't bite anyone else confused

vampirequeen Sat 16-Feb-13 22:56:57

My daughter remembers me doing it. She said she didn't realise how much it hurt until I bit her. Then she stopped doing it.

Pennysue Sat 16-Feb-13 23:31:56

vampirequeen I did the same to my daughter, she used to bite her brother (2.5 years older than her) and other children when she was about 3 ish and he never retaliated. I tried everything and in the end bit her on the arm (not hard, but enough to make the point that it hurt) she never did it again.

Faye Sun 17-Feb-13 02:13:39

I do feel sorry for the little one being bitten. Eldest GD at around 2 1/2 bit GS 18 months on his side. My face must have said it all, I was horrified and angry, the bite mark was deep and I was babysitting them both. She never bit him again and they are very close. Her younger sister constantly bit GS (her cousin) who is a week older than her, when they were around 18 months old. Each time GS put his finger in GD's mouth, she would bite it and he would cry. We wondered why he kept putting his finger in his cousin's mouth. confused Her father got fed up with this and one day after she bit her cousin's finger yet again SIL put her finger in her mouth and she bit her own finger. I think she realised biting hurts and never did it again.

yogagran Mon 25-Feb-13 17:34:50

Thanks to all of you who answered - I'm pleased to say that the problem seems to resolving itself. We have told DGS that it is not acceptable behaviour, taking him away from his sister and telling him that it hurts and he must not do it. I think mishap is correct in that it's experimental behaviour. I really appreciate all the input - thanks everyone

Yamyam Wed 27-Feb-13 17:43:31

Sorry to have jumped in on this one a bit late, but I only just found it.

Many, many years ago, when I collected DS, aged 2, from his first morning at nursery school, I was told that he had bitten 4 children that morning! I was mortified and so very apologetic.
This behaviour continued. I tried everything to stop him, including biting him back. Thought I'd sussed it. Then a friend visited with her new baby. Took eyes off DS for a second- he bit the baby on the toe and drew blood!
Eventually he stopped but I do remember waking up on the morning of his 7th birthday and feeling amazed that I hadn't strangled the little devil. grin
He did improve but he was always a problem.
Isn't it strange that you can bring up one child (DD, 2 and a half years older) exactly the same and they turn out totally differently?confused

Anne58 Wed 27-Feb-13 18:31:47

I had a horse once that was prone to biting when her rugs were adjusted.

I really lost it one day, pulled her head down and bit her on the ear.

It bloody hurt me, my teeth just weren't used to crunching down on rather tough cartilage.

She was somewhat taken aback, possibly more by the sight of me hopping around with my finger between my teeth going "Ow ow ow" than the possible sensation on her ear.

Not sure of the how, why and wherefore of this, but suffice to say neither of us repeated the exercise. confused