Being a long distance granny

Very true

Oh Frances I have read your post at a difficult time in my life too! I will need tissues any second. Eldest daughter, husband and our 2 gcs moving to New York state at end of November due to amazing job opportunity. Have seen 9 and 5 year old gc every week since their birth and looked after them one day a week, now school pick ups and sleepovers. I am told we are being very supportive but we are heartbroken. Our son and wife live in tokyo and 2gc there of 3 and 10 months have Skype hookups with them so very used to that. On top of that youngest daughter split with her partner in jan and have a 2 year old gc who is ver confused with whole sitution and wants to go back to her home and cat. Our dog off to vets today for scan of abdomen to see if there are any masses going on to explain his failing health. We are house moving too. On plus side middle daughter and gc are happy and my parents are well. Actually maybe not tissue i need but good friends and wine! Sorry to go on but advice and support needed . Thanks for reading this if you get to end x

Lots of support here and common sense but we all know it doesn't alter the fact that we are here and they are there, and the ache of separation never goes away.

The postage is so expensive to USA. I only post light things but the postage is nearly always as much as the thing cost in the first place! Yes, I use Amazon.com, also - very useful.

We were on the East Coast in May and I settle back over here in the UK eventually, after the jet-lag, which I find really difficult. My only grandchildren are in the USA, so I know no different, I guess. Skype is such a Godsend. I probably hear more from my son in the USA, than I do from the one over here! I try to keep busy over here, but then end up exhausted. C'est la vie. I can get really down sometimes, I have to admit, but I have some great hobbies and good friends. Hope this helps others.

I have a grandchild on the west coast USA - 8 hours time difference. And yes, I post little things, post all the time. Last toy cost £6 and cost £16 to post. Though Amazon.com is the American site and they will deliver directly often at no cost.
We visited them in May, just a few weeks ago, but I miss them already, leaving little grandson was awful. Grandchildren who we see regularly and love dearly, emphasise the absence of the other.

I cope with absent grandchildren on the east coast of America and me in the UK, by Skype calls, emails and Flickr photos on a weekly basis. It helps to know other grandparents in the same boat, but I have to admit that it is difficult when I hear of others, with grandchildren who are a constant presence in their lives. We aim to see the family annually either here or the other side of the pond. Another coping mechanism of mine is to be on the look-out for lightweight items to send in the post or a cheerful greetings card. It gives me pleasure and I hope the grandchildren too! Not a day goes by when I don't think of how nice it would be to have them nearer, but that is not going to happen. I just try and make the best of things. I have my down days.

My son and daughter in law live in California...we live in Minnesota. They just had our FIRST grandchild. One thing that helps is we just started using this free application called “Moment Garden” to get real time updates on our new grandson Mark. Our son and daughter in law created the “Garden” for Mark. It is completely private and only available to see by invitation. We get an email everyday with any new photo about Mark or an update about him. It is truly the highlight of my day. We can also add “moments” to Mark’s garden or send comments to him or his parents. It’s a wonderful application, especially important to me because of the privacy. In this day and age I prefer not to have my personal information all over the internet for everyone to see.

ffinochio - I visited without Eddie both times, as it's too costly otherwise. I think you live in France too - we've lost a lot through the unfavourable exchange rate over the last years.
Also the journey is so tiring - 48 hrs just about.
But like you, saw our son when he made a quick visit to England last summer, and it coincided with my visit to daughter there. He comes over sometimes to renew his working visa.

Tricia Isn't it great that skype can provide such a service, and how lovely it is to see the grandchildren wander about coming and going in their home. For me it normalises the situation my grandkids are in, and my relationship with them, which gives me great pleasure.

I find visiting my lot regularly a serious financial consideration. I often go alone, leaving Papa to hold the fort here. Unfortunately, we cannot go this year, but are hoping our son will make a flying visit this Autumn. Fingers crossed.

Thank God again for Skype - this afternoon another contact with our no.2 son on top of a mountain in SE India. The reception is much better now.
I could see them in their living room and kitchen, pottering around, the children coming and going.
I've visited them twice in the last 10 years, but don't know if I'll manage it again.

RAF I am so envious which is not an attractive emotion! Mr P is not up for holidays at the moment, medical stuff, and cannot be left while I go away. Do enjoy France and let what will be, be. Easy to say I know. I like to take my worries out in the middle of the night and give them a good polishing.

How very true, holidays mean so much now! Off in mid July to a villa with pool in south of France, amazing what holiday clothes you can find on eBay!

Hard isn't it RAF? I have that problem too. Very tempting to over share here sometimes and it is a very small world! Maybe you will have some nice holidays to look forward to? I have travelled to places I would never have dreamed of visiting courtesy of my DC! Cue Monty Python song "Always look on the bright side...."

Thank you Purpledaffodil, the book depository definitely sounds worth exploring. I don't think they will intentionally let the children forget us completely, just not so much a priority for them. There is a bit of me, unvoiced, which thinks they have threatened to emigrate so many times before, that they still might not settle and could be back by Christmas, you never know. Not dependent on work as DIL will commute from to UK weekly, and he is the house husband. Long story, which I had better not post on here just in case it becomes too identifiable, in which case we would be sent to Coventry!

Oh dear RAF, it sounds like you just have to do your best with what is available. Elegran's advice sounds useful too. Also I can recommend the Book Depository who will post books internationally post free. I have used them a lot since reading about them on GN and found them very reliable. Sure fire way to ensure Grandma stays in their thoughts is a lovely book arriving unexpectedly . Good luck

Found this about International Reply Coupons, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_reply_coupon Very interesting, but it only pays the postage cost, it still requires someone to exchange the coupon for a local stamp.

But surely your son and his wife could take the trouble to put a stamp on a child's letter, address it legibly and stick it in a postbox? They don't have the effort and expense of bringing thecdhildren physically to see you any more if they have emigrated (well, except for holidays back in the UK)

Is there more behind your concerns than just their leaving the country? do you think they will let the children forget you?

These are your grandchildren and of course you want to keep in contact with them and see them grow.

I hope he is planning to post you packets of photographs whenever he can, and not leave you in total ignorance of what they look like.

If Ds is not going to use Skype or Facebook, I would ask him to send you some stamps for the country they are going to. Or how getting some about prepaid airmail letters? I am sure that if you asked at your post office they wouild tell you about ways of doing this, there must be a lot of people wanting to prepay letters from abroad.

I shall do a little Googling on your behalf, though you don't say where they are going. Watch this space!

Thanks Purpledaffodil, I only wish! It's not technophobia in the sense he doesn't know how to use it, but he doesn't want his children's images sent over the internet, which I can to an extent understand, even though the risk of hacking or interception is small. If you have ever read Dave Eggers 'The Circle' (I can recommend it, but it will give you the shivers!) it helps to understand a little where he is coming from.

The rest of the family have no problem with skype or facetime, and when we had a wonderful trip round the world in 2012 we kept in touch with the rest of them that way. It would have to be the one who feels he cannot use it who is moving!

It's great to hear that you are all coping with distant children and grandchildren, I will just have to be brave and do the best I can.

With the greatest of respect RAF think your DS is being less than helpful.
Skype and FaceTime are not religions, just a useful way of letting families communicate. My GS2 lives in Singapore and it is lovely to see him running around their local park. He is not speaking yet, but we have managed games of Boo on the screens. Photographs can be emailed or put onto shared photo streams which are private. Could you not persuade him to be less technophobe?

The stamps will be a problem, can you buy foreign stamps to send back to this country? But I will do all I can to remove all obstacles to keeping in touch, thank you for the tips!

Stamps will present a problem Elegran, unless stamps of the sender's country can be easily obtained in Britain. Snail mail does have it's disadvantages.

RAF When you write, enclose a stamped adressed envelope and ask them to send you a letter. Even the 2 year-old can scribble on a piece of paper and it can be enclosed in the "letter" to you.

Thank you ffinnochio, that's a good idea. Yes, it is lovely to have the others, I guess it is just going to ache for a few months while I get used to it. I know when DS went off on his gap year and said he wouldn't contact us it was like going through a bereavement, but we did hear when he ran out of money! :-)

Hi RAF. Hope you at least get an address, then you can send postcards to the grandchildren. I send one a month individually to my American lot. I don't expect a reply, but send them because I love them and it's just my way of saying "hello, it's your European grandma here and I'm thinking of you". It's usually just chit-chat, but I also try to include something that will capture their interest.
It's lovely for you to have other grandchildren close by.

My DS is just about to emigrate with wife and family, and they don't believe in Skype or sending pictures of the children over the internet, and he doesn't make phone calls except in a dire emergency, so keeping in touch will be incredibly difficult. I can write them letters, (assuming I am given the address!) but unless they are encouraged to reply and taken to the post office to buy stamps and post them, I won't hear from them. One is old enough to write, but the other is only two. I have other grandchildren, but it doesn't stop the pain when some go, does it? Can't say anything of course, walking on eggshells as I understand a lot of you are....