Being a long distance granny

This time last year we were visiting DS and his family in Australia. I keep thinking back to that visit knowing that, with DH's health issues, we may not make that journey again, he is adamant he doesn't want to do that flight again!

However, although I feel sad about that, this last couple of years since they have been gone has been a turning point in our lives. We have made a huge effort to go out more, I have joined our local townswomesn's guild (which is brilliant, we have great fun) and generally we just do more together instead of me being so involved in the GC. We have rediscovered our own lives, have our own individual interests and are making the most of it all.

I am so happy that DS and his little family are loving their new lives and are doing really well......and thank goodness for Skype and FaceTime

I've just been meeting up with old friends and one is very involved in caring for her twin grandsons - she was complaining (gently) that they were a bit too much for her sometimes. I haven't seen my grandsons for four months and won't for another eight. Talk about feast or famine!

Thank you Bellasnana and Speldnan, today was indeed difficult. I have cried buckets, the hugs and kisses were wonderful, but the waving off and watching them go was awful. Cannot believe they have gone and are not just down the road.
But I must remember they are happy and were excited about going, and exploring a new area. I must also remember it is only 2 hours on a train, and shall look forward to visiting. At the moment husband and I must leave them alone to unpack and settle in, and wait for updates on new schools etc.
Yes you are right, I should look to fill some hours with a new hobby or similar, and once I have stopped crying I may well do that.
Thank you for the support, what a great site knowing people are out there to chat to .

nanicaz-it must be so hard for you-actually I think your situation is harder than mine since you have been used to seeing your grandchildren and being part of their lives, only to have that taken away from you. My little GD lives in NZ and I have never known what it is like to be part of her life so although it's painful not to know her very well I am not exactly missing her.
I see my GS in the UK every week and would be devastated if my daughter and family were to move away from the area now. But I have come to terms with the fact that I cannot hang on to my children or my grandchildren and that my children have to do what is best for their families without considering me.
It's a hard lesson to learn but as you say, you are proud of you son-as I am of mine in NZ and as long as they are happy and doing well you have to be pleased for them wherever they live. At least they are a couple of hours away and not 2 days on a plane!
Maybe you should find something new and interesting to fill the gap in your life? reading group? new hobby? OU course? it might help once you've got over the initial shock of it all.

nanicaz - can imagine how you must be feeling when you have been so close to your grandchildren. It will take some getting used to but hopefully you will still be able to be a huge part of their lives.

Hello all fellow Gransnetters. My first time writing on the forum, I joined last year when we first heard our son was thinking of moving to Manchester, & have been reading everyone's messages on the subject of children moving away. After reading some of the messages about families who are thousands of miles away, I feel such a fraud, but surely the pain must be the same?

My son got the promotion he wanted, & the day has come for him & his family to move (in fact it is tomorrow!!) So I am sitting at my computer feeling very sorry for myself, crying every so often, & thinking of their little faces (3 grandchildren, 4, 9 & 12) when I saw them this morning clutching their sweets & flowers for the teachers as its their last day at their schools.

I have been very fortunate that they have lived just down the road from us, and have been able to help, support & visit them very often. But Oh how I am going to miss them. I know its only Manchester - 2hours away on a train, 3 hours driving, but my life will change overnight from helping with the school run, shopping trips with the DIL, to quiet & sometimes lonely long days(husband works long hours!!)

Am trying to be positive and stop thinking of myself - (as it is for selfish reasons why I don't want them to go), and start thinking of nice trips up north to visit and explore, as husband and I like travelling and seeing new places, but still I am going to have such long quiet days ( I work from home which can be a lonely job anyway).

So it is very bittersweet, we are very proud of our son, but very sad they are going.

We have Skype, email and I-phones, so all is not lost, and hopefully I now have some new Gransnetters for support

So glad you are able to go out to visit your family and meet the new arrival, Gailjo. You already have a positive attitude so I am sure you will make the best of it which is all we can do really. Parting will always be painful but you just have to keep looking forward to the next Skype call or the next visit.
We are currently on our yearly visit to our granddaughter who is now three. She is such a sweetheart and being with her is such a joy even though she has us running rings around her all day! I dread leaving, but know I have to toughen up - it does nobody any good if I fall apart every time we have to say goodbye.

Gransnet has certainly helped me to put things into perspective. Hearing how other people have dealt with the situation is encouraging and has made me see things in a different light. I was so sorry for myself at first until I realized this is not all about me and that many grandparents deal with a lot worse.

Please let us know how you get on. Do you know if its a DGD or a DGS yet?
Lots of excitement ahead for you anyway.

I get much support from reading the messages on this forum. I am not a grandma yet. My daughter who lives in New Zealand is having a baby at the end of July. I am going to stay with her for 6 weeks at the end of July. I am trying so hard to focus on all the positives but get down when I think of only seeing my grand child once a year. I too want the very best for my daughter and I know that they have a brilliant life out there. I just hope that when it comes time for me to leave I can leave without being totally silly. I must stay positive.

Bellas Glad you're having such a good time with the family. Stiff upper lips are bound to wobbly occasionally. Mine do when I fly out to visit the family. Lots of emotion gets packed into such a short time. It does get better.

Thanks, chrissiecas. You are right and I really do try hard to be positive and thankful for the time we spend together. It is no good spoiling the time we have by agonizing about leaving, but sometimes it just gets to me and the stiff upper lip has a wobble! It has certainly helped a lot hearing posts from so many other grans in similar situations, some of whom have it much harder than myself, and learning how they cope. My thoughts are with you all.

Hi Bellasnana, yes it must be painful all over again when it comes to leaving them, you feel you're missing so much of their growing up. Still, as long as they're well and happy, that's all we can hope for. Continue having a great time with your family.

chrissiecas that is good that you have such a positive attitude and I do understand about it being an adventure for you. I doubt if we would have ever ventured across the pond if two of our daughters had not moved to the States. We, too, are happy for them and always encouraged them to be adventurous, but we hadn't imagined how our little granddaughter would wrap herself around our hearts making it very painful to live so far apart.
We are with them for a holiday at present and it is a joy to have that little treasure in my arms every day. She was three on Saturday and is such a character. I feel the tears pricking my eyes when I look at her little face and know that in five weeks we will have to part again for at least another year.
Anyway, must get up - we have another day of Disney today!

I miss my granny so much. She lived in a retirement home in Ottawa. Hopefully I will be with her next week.

We are in Switzerland, and grandkids in UK/Surrey- so I can jump on EasyJet, or TGV and Eurostar, or even in the car and be there in a day. And that is hard enough. If they ever decided to move to the other side of the world, I would of course support and encourage them all the way- but I would find that so so so hard- so my heart goes out to all of you with grandkids so far away. I really do.

I do think if that happened, that I would up stick and go there- taking a little house or flat nearby (but not too near). But I know, easier said than done.

My son and family went to Australia two weeks ago, he's working there for 12 months with a view to staying permanently. I have 2 grandchildren of 5 and 10. I spent a lot of time with them while they were here so am missing them a lot. As other people say, thank goodness for Skype! I totally understand why they've gone, and only want them to be happy. I'm staying positive and am hoping to visit them in September so will focus on making plans for my trip. It will be a great adventure for me. In the meantime I keep myself busy with good friends, who are a godsend.

Thank you for your good wishes Bellasnana and what a lovely surprise for you,your happiness at having your family all together shines out of your post. It's a special feeling when your children get together to surprise you.

I tend to forget that I'm a long distance granny, maybe because I saw a lot of them when they were tiny. I'm not the other side of the world from them of course and I can usually get to see them every three or four months. Now GD1 and GS are living away from home I think my daughter misses them a much as I do.

Well, it was worth the long trip to see DD2, SiL and DGD waiting for us at the airport. Then, yesterday morning, woke to find DD1 had driven the six hour journey from NW Florida to surprise us! Lots of tears, I can tell you.

Today is DGD's third birthday so another day at Disney World is planned. We all had a good day there yesterday even though we are still tired from the journey. Trying to enjoy every minute and not let thoughts of having to leave them all again get in the way.

Thank you all for your kind words and understanding

Thanks, Ariadne

Bellasnana you just enjoy every minute! xx

Thank you so much ffinnochio and margaretm74

Have a wonderful time and lots of cuddles bellasnana.

Bellsa Have a good trip out and a wonderful time!

Hello to all long-distance grans. Just wanted to tell you we leave early tomorrow to visit our little treasure in the US. Haven't seen her since May so you will understand how excited I am! Will keep in touch but you are all on my mind

Just got a load of photos on Facebook so I am in heaven (for now) - some were just taken today so I can really see what my dear grandsons look like just now.
The lows and highs of long distance grannydom.

The time between Christmas and NY and just beyond can be depressing - DH and I have both been unwell so feeling a bit housebound (not seeing anyone in case we spread it around). Family in Australia have had phone problems due to storms, so not hearing quite so much from them either - and it's the time difference that makes it so difficult, especially with DGS. One lot are coming over in the spring so we have that to look forward to. At least we are not flooded or cut off, so I hope none of you are either. Count my blessings and keep knitting!