Being a long distance granny

I wrote on here a couple of weeks ago to say my son and family were off to the Falklands for four years. They fly this week and we have just had our last visit from them and said goodbye for a year at least when we hope to go and see them. Thanks to all the support from Gransnet (and a glass of wine) I am coping quite well so far. Luckily we are so exhausted from the last few days arrangements I shall probably sleep like a log. Cheers.

Hi there bellasnan and natsan there are indeed many of us in the same boat.

I am new to Gransnet and have just found this thread. We also have our son, his wife and our 6year old grandson in Australia. They have been there just over a year and of course we miss them terribly. We were lucky enough to be able to visit them earlier this year but I honestly don't know when, if ever, we will be able to go again. The older we get we just can't face such a long journey again. However, we FaceTime each other every weekend, which is a great way to be able to keep in touch. I am happy that they are living a wonderful life, with good jobs and a beautiful house and I never let them know about all the tears I have shed since they have gone. We are getting onwith our lives too and are so lucky that our daughter and our other two lovely grandchildren live nearby. It is very hard but it does help to hear of other families in the same situation and how we all cope.

Wonderful to read these posts and to realize I am not the only one who is missing a grandchild! I was very lucky to be able to be present at the birth of our precious granddaughter, and I have been able to spend several weeks with her over the past couple of years. We are also very grateful for Skype as it means we talk to each other most days. We are now looking forward to spending her third birthday with her, although I am already dreading having to say goodbye to her again when we have to go home! She lives in the USA and we are in Malta, so it is quite a journey. I do feel quite sad that I can't be a more 'hands on' grandparent, particularly as my own dear mum was such a huge part of our four children's lives, as was her mum in ours.

Thanks, ffinnochio. I do wonder if it would be easier not to have been so close but we feel privileged to have been included for so long. The little one would have been starting Nursery soon so we probably wouldn't have seen so much of them after Christmas anyway. I rather expected them to move in the near future but not quite so far away! They say they will return to this country but I'm bracing myself for the fact that they might well decide to move somewhere else overseas. If they do come home that will be a bonus. All your comments have really helped and I have felt a lot better today. Thankyou all.

rocky Just been thinking it must be especially tough to wave goodbye to your son and family when you have had so much contact with them all over the years. Your spirit and good sense in coping with their adventure is admirable.

Never having had my grandchildren around in the same country, I feel I have a different sense of missing them in my day to day life, if that makes sense, so only have a little measure of what your situation must be like.

Wishing them happiness - and you, too.

Good to have you on board, rocky

rockgran

You've made me cry now, but thanks everyone for caring. I do feel better.

And you are a good mum and MiL as well. I hope they appreciate you.

rockgran You are the type of grannie that grandkids the world over need and love.

Thanks JO8 but I'm just trying to put a good spin on something I can't change. I don't want to add to their problems by being negative. We have been lucky to have them near for so long and hopefully the grandkids won't forget us if we skype regularly.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa J0

Aka! That was so patronising to Bags!

Gran. Not grab! (Kindle Fire)

Rockgran you sound an amazingly good mum and grab. I don't think I could cope with that so well. [hug]

Very odd, I agree, but a minority of people just don't seem that keen on the company of their kids or grandchildren. Possibly glad to see the back of the kids when they left home? Not child focussed and therefore not grandchild focussed either.
I didn't mean that I thought they were frail elderly and past it - just not that interested.

The thing is Jess they are only early sixties, the MIL is 61. The other thing my daughter mentioned is when her in laws are visiting the four of their seven children and families who live in the same city never all get together with the parents. The in laws only spend time separately with their children, maybe they just don't like crowds.

So was the post to which I was responding.

That's better Bags

And I admire your spirit that shows in that last post, rocky

It certainly helps to talk about it. Thanks everyone. I am also trying to look at the positives. I would rather they were happy abroad than miserable here. Also we will gain a bit more time for our hobbies and days out. I want to have plenty to tell them when we Skype so they don't feel sorry for us! I don,t ever want them to feel guilty about pursuing their dream because I really admire their spirit.

Tegan - I empathise with your post, and will long distance grannies. One of my daughters is travelling currently, next stop possibly the land of Oz. So many of their generation land in Oz, and find it a land of opportunity where they'd like to settle. I'm so pleased she is taking some time out to travel, but I dread the idea of her liking Oz or the US so much that she decides to settle there. I'd have to button my lip, and be totally supportive, but I know I'd be weeping inside.

I've always encouraged my daughter and her husband to work abroad if the opportunity arose, mainly because I stopped my ex husband from doing so [well, I was happy for him to work abroad sometimes, it's just that I didn't want me and the children to go with him] and the friends we had that did up and move are all so much better off financially than we are now. But, if they did I would be devastated. I would imagine that having to put on a brave face makes it even harder. At least you can talk to people about it on here, rockgran.

nowt so queer faye but some older people just don't seem to have that grandparenting software installed do they?
aw rockgran a sad time for you.