Long Distance

Hello Gagagran

That is a good idea I thank you for that I never thought of doing something like that Thank you very much

Hello Riverwalk

He has explained it to me and in their culture they think very different to the west they don't have our individual thinking, it is more around what is best for the group or the people as a whole. They have very strict unwritten rules about how your life should be lived and how certain things are done and one thing they don't like is to be individual or to stand out. My son loves that way of life and prefers it to western culture also with his job and traveling he is at work 6 days a week for up to 12 hours or more they are a very work orientated people and although his wife married a western man she still wanted a very Japanese role as a wife and stay at home. That also doesn't help as she speaks very little to no English so the children don't have much interaction with any other language. Also schools in Japan are very strict about the learning structure and have much longer hours than here in the UK and children are expected to join clubs for after school activities and he didn't want burden them with additional learning on subjects that fall outside of the japanese exam system. They are already planning after school cram school for the elder son once he gets a bit older to get his grades to a level so he can get in to a better school in Junior high.

What I think I trying to put across is where and how you finish school determines your position and potential jobs in life and DIL family are concerned that additional teaching of unnecessary things is a distraction at the moment it is a very different culture to ours where the individual has more rights, but for them the group good does seem to work as my son always points out like the low crime rates etc

Lisa

It's very sad that you can't communicate with the grandchildren Minislisa. I hope you get to see them before too long.

Have you ever discussed with your son why he hasn't taught them to speak English, particularly as he's a teacher?

Your grandsons may learn English one day Minislisa and then you can catch up with them and they may even be keen to come and explore their western heritage. Meanwhile you could establish a link of some sort by making scrapbooks for them with photos of their Dad, you and their extended family over here and with local and national beauty spots. They say a picture tells a thousand words (or some such quote).

You could also send them little gifts of typical British things - little flags, pictures of footballers, postcards etc. I would try to make a connection, however difficult with the language barrier, and I'm sure you would be glad you did in the future.

Hello Bellasnana

Thank you and he is my only child he would love for me to visit or visit me here in England but his wages as a teacher in Japan don't stretch to do this so it will be some time before we can get together again and you are right time doesn't make it any easier

Lisa

Oh how sad that you can't even communicate with your grandsons - can only imagine how painful that must be for you. Is that your only son who is in Japan or do you have other children? Not that it makes a difference, I know. We have two children in their twenties still at home, but our two eldest both live in the States and I really miss them. People say it gets better with time, but I think it gets worse!
Anyway, I hope you will get to meet your grandsons one day and I do feel for you so much.