how often do you see your grandchildren?

We now live near the two oldest DGC (15 and 17) and they pop in after school if DD has a meeting there, so we see them quite a lot now, after living 5-6 hours' drive away. But, even though we both worked, we would try to get down here at least every six weeks, leaving on a Friday night and returning on Sunday morning.

DSs live in Cheltenham (about 2 hours) and we can do that in a day, and Hampshire ( about 3-4 hours) We sometimes do Hampshire in a day, and leave about 9.00 in the evening, sharing the driving. Doing that tomorrow for youngest DGC's 4th birthday.

I do think it is important to make every effort. And, Shazzy my youngest son is no great communicator, but DDiL and I talk and she knows that we are always there for them, and love their visits and our visits to them. Let them know how important they are to you!

I agree with kittylester's excellent post.

Does your dil drive?

I built up a very loving relationship with DGS1 because for a while son-in-law was studying hard for exams every weekend, and DD would bring grandson here Friday to Monday to give him peace and quiet to get on with it. Their journey was about an hour and twenty minutes. Not quite so long as your dil's would be.

Hope you find a way to share these early months and years.

Could you invite your DiL to stay while your son is away? Or you go there while he is away? Your DiL might welcome your help if her DH is away.

Is there a particular reason why your DH finds a two hour drive too far? We periodically drive two hours to see DD2 and two DGD, taking them out for a pub lunch and then coming home. Do you drive? Could you share the driving?

In my opinion it is well worth putting oneself out to establish a good relationship with your DGC.

I hope you find a way to make it work for you all

I think this is a question of what makes you and your son's family happy and not what is right or common-practice. If you want to see your son you only have a small window of opportunity right now because of his working pattern so it seems to me that fixing a date in advance every few months is a reasonable approach. It sounds like you are all doing the best you can under the circumstances.

You may have a point there absent. I tell them that they are always welcome and we would love to see them anytime but dont invite them at a specific time as I worry about making them feel like they have to and I know it is difficult for them brringing all dgd things and they also have a big dog and as I say it is two hours drive away and he only has that one week. It is food for thought though, thanks

Do you invite them to visit you?