Local Support groups for Grandparents of SN children

I could have written this myself! I am desperately in need of support. My grandson was suddenly disabled a year ago at 6 years old and I have spent my time supporting my daughter and she has found support groups for parents but the experience of the grandparent is different and I very much need to speak with other grandparents that have experienced similar situations.

I'm sorry I'm finding it very hard to understand why your DD would be convinced the child was autistic prior to birth choirlady

Your DGD obviously has health problems, but do you or anyone else in the family feel autism is one of her problems??
Feel free to pm me if you prefer.

I have a bit of a different prob - my daughter was convinced through her pregnancy that her daughter was autistic. Daughter is now 6 and a lovely little girl but daughter is still sure she is autistic but my main prob is that she (my daughter) doesn't think anyone understands, all doctors are hopeless and she has been offered a weekly place for her daughter at a v prestigious autism clinic near here but has repeatedly turned it down. Her daughter has a feeding tube which apparently is getting twisted/blocked regularly, necessitating trips to hospital. I am not callous but do feel she cd at least give the clinic for a trial, at least for a week, as nothing else seems to be working.

AnnB I have sent you a PM.

Nannyah and anyone else interested, are you in my area (North Staffordshire) because I'd love to talk about how we can get in touch with people and perhaps facilitate your group if it is useful? I am the local North Staffordshire editor, so let me know. I'm sure Gransnet Central will put you in touch with gher right person if it's not me. The Blog idea sounds great and I would love it to be on the local site but realistically you might get more response nationally?

ninathenana, you are right not everyone appreciates the amount of care involved even members of the family. I have been writing a blog for some time now about my GD and the highs and lows associated with her care. My latest post which I am in the process of writing at the moment is concerning sleep, or rather the lack of it that my daughter & Son In law have to put up with on a daily basis. I am ashamed to say that even I did not realise how bad this was until my Daughter told me recently. Like so many SN parents they just get on with it.

nannyah DD has that problem with her in-laws. DGS has complex needs but they seem (especially her MiL) to be of the opinion that things will be sorted and all will be ok
SiL and his brother were both very premature babies but have no ill effects from this. All her MiL does is compare 'her boys' to DGS.
They have no idea of the day to day care required as they live in Germany.

<ok rant over, sorry>

Thank you ninathenana. I too belong to an on line support group along with my Daughter but it was seeing a post on there recently that got me thinking more along these lines. Someone had posted that they felt that the Grandparents 'just didn't get it' and were 'in complete denial'. I wondered if that was the case or perhaps the GPs just felt bewildered and anxious but did not like to show it. I am lucky, all of our family are very supportive and I was able to give up work to help with the care of my GD, but not everyone has this.

I am in the process of writing a brief blog about this subject and would love to submit it as a guest blog for Gransnet if it is of interest. It touches briefly upon some of the emotions and worries that I felt upon hearing the awful news. It is hard to show these emotions as you need to be strong for your family,plus the main concern is with helping and supporting the parents. Obviously this is a big priority but grandparents need support too I feel but it is hard for them to talk about it to those that have not been through it themselves as it sounds as if they are being selfish. It would be nice to have a web-based group where people can exchange ideas etc., with local groups having regular meetings (for both Grans & Granddads) to provide that one to one support if necessary and also organise guest speakers etc which might be helpful.

I too have a DGS with special needs. DD belongs to an on line group she also attends a local group and meets up with the mums of other SN children at a special nursery.
At the moment I don't feel the need for a local support group. But I wish you luck organizing yours.

Great idea. My GS is special needs. We belong to several support organisations where we all go out together with the children and this usually includes several grannies. Nothing just for the grandparents though.