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(20 Posts)
Kiora Sat 29-Mar-14 10:38:15

One of my grandsons was devoted to me. From being a baby we cared for him three days a week up until he was five and somtimes over the weekend. If the telephone rang he would dash and pick it up saying "I'm not coming home" they moved but I made sure I spent lots of time with him. He would never never want to go out with his friends if I was there. If we were all going out and taking two cars he would insist on coming In my car. He's 12 now and I knew it was coming to an end. The family are here now and today for the first time he's gone out with his mum rather than me. I want to weep. I know it's normal. But it hurts. I'll get used to it but for now I best pull myself together and get ready to take his little brother out and enjoy him. I have another three younger so lots more nannying days ahead to look forward to. But this one hurt a lot...the price of love eh! sad

posie Sat 29-Mar-14 10:59:18

((hugs)) Kiora, I can well imagine your pain. Although I love all of my 7 GC there is one that I'm closer to. We have the same sort of relationship that you describe.
He was over the moon that I was going to tea yesterday (although I only saw him 2days previously) & put on his chef apron to help his mum cook tea for me.
Only last week I said to his mum-my DD that I was going to enjoy it while it lasts, because no doubt soon I won't be his favourite person anymore.
Hopefully I've got a while yet though.

whenim64 Sat 29-Mar-14 11:25:59

Ah, Kiora it might be the first time, but your special bond and spending time together won't be over. There'll still be those moments that you'll enjoy each other's company. My eldest grandson is 14 now and too cool for nana in the presence of others, but we have half an hour in the car together most weeks, when he talks my socks down, and if the wider family is having a get-together he's usually sat very near me, even if we aren't chatting to each other. There's reassurance in being around loving grandparents - just a different way of feeling it when you're growing up flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Mar-14 11:30:19

Oh Kiora hug

There is pain along with the joy isn't there. (He hadn't stopped loving you) smile

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Mar-14 11:31:24

I didn't mean that hug to be blue'd hmm

posie Sat 29-Mar-14 11:48:59

Oh jingle I'm disappointed. I went off looking to see what a special hug looked like.

Granny23 Sat 29-Mar-14 12:05:47

My DGS when aged about 3+ threw his arms around me and amid kisses and cuddles declared that I was his best, favourite Granny and he loved me the most. With my heart swelling and tears pricking, I blurted out that that was nice but perhaps not very fair to his other (Daddy's Mammy) Granny and he must not tell her this. To which he replied "Oh no, I would not upset her. I have already told her that SHE is my favourite Granny".

As this conversation took place in the run up to Christmas, I drew the conclusion that we have a budding Politician in our midst. grin

janeainsworth Sat 29-Mar-14 12:09:14

Oh it needn't be as bad as that Granny23.
Perhaps he'll just be a Diplomat grin

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Mar-14 12:26:39

Sorry posie grin

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Mar-14 12:28:13

Granny23 that is so funny! He's got his head screwed on right, no mistake. wink

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Mar-14 12:31:10

I remember looking through some family photos once with GS 1 when we came across a photo of his nanny (other one). He picked it up and kissed it! And that was during the time he was awful to me. He must have been three or four. [Sigh]

KatyK Sat 29-Mar-14 12:45:27

Aah Kiora I know how you feel. We only have one grandchild. We have always been close (she has 2 sets of grandparents and is close to both, but I have always felt we have a special bond, maybe it was just in my head}. She is almost 14 now and we see less of her as she likes to go out with her friends and she does lots of things with her mum obviously. She still loves to come and stay here occasionally. She is coming today to stay the night. We are going to bake bread smile. I am grateful that we see her when we do. She still says that our house is her favourite house apart from her own. When I was having a bit of a bad time recently she must have sensed it and she said 'nan you are the nicest person I know' smile. It is natural for things to change but not easy for us.

kittylester Sat 29-Mar-14 13:37:50

It hurt me when Bertie the B****r always rushed past me to get to DH but now his little sister makes a bee line for me so I'm happier.

I think that, although the special bond may seem less, there is always a residual tie as they get older.

Deedaa Sat 29-Mar-14 21:04:41

When I looked after GS1 five days a week he really became like my own child and we used to do all sorts of things together. In the three years he's been at school we have grown much further apart - but now I have his little brother who is an absolute treasure! No doubt in three or four years time it will all happen again. Still, I'll be over 70 by then so I might be glad of a break smile

grannyactivist Sun 30-Mar-14 00:22:45

As my four year old grandson walked away from me down the path today he called back over his shoulder, "I love you granny". Aaah. smile

Faye Sun 30-Mar-14 05:03:09

I asked youngest GD2 the other day if she was Grandma's girl, she said "yeth." I then asked her if she was Mummy's girl too and she said no she is J's (her name) goil. smile

annodomini Sun 30-Mar-14 19:10:29

My elder GD, now 22, has always been close to me and it has been a great pleasure to see her developing into a lovely and sociable young woman, still affectionate, but branching out on her own with her own group of special friends. She has a great capacity for friendship.

Penstemmon Sun 30-Mar-14 22:35:44

I am close to all 4 DGCs but they are all still quite young. I do regular childcare duties and they often pop in as they live nearby. However they are not my children and it is that bit of distance that makes the relationship special. I hope they keep wanting to visit and chat but I hope I will find pleasure in watching them mature and inevitably become more independent..even if it tugs at the heartstrings!

Kiora Fri 11-Apr-14 09:23:10

I'm giving myself a JOLLY GOOD TALKING TO this morning. Two weeks ago for the first time my most devoted grandson went out with mum rather me. This week only his brother is coming down to stay. He doesn't want to come so is staying with friends. My running commentary is "I'm proud of our relationship because he feels confident enough of it to grow away. Im proud because he knows I will let him go but still love him. Now look you don't want to spoil thing by making him feel guilty, right then I'll show him and just spoil his brother..oh no I wouldn't do that I'd hate to hurt him. Pull yourself together now it's life. He still loves you he's just growing up...all that love is not lost he will keep it locked in his heart all his life. Stop being daft just get on with it" I'm saying all this while sniffing and wiping away tears....if I don't post again it's because the men in the white coats are coming for me...must stop this muttering to my self and let it all out, but where oh I know....on gransnet. Thanks . That feels better I'm off to hang up the washing before taking 3 under 6 to the park

whenim64 Fri 11-Apr-14 09:28:13

That's the ticket, Kiora. You are part of his growing up and his confidence to start spreading his wings, so lots to celebrate - he'll be along when he wants more of those home comforts and hasn't seen you for a bit flowers