Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Maternal vs Paternal Granny

(55 Posts)
Lona Wed 09-Jul-14 07:49:11

I think some of this is down to circumstances, how much grandparents can help, and distance.
I'm not competitive, I just help where I can, but in the past I have been pushed down the list a bit.
Now I'm the nearest nana to the littlest gd and she's mine grin

Aka Wed 09-Jul-14 07:35:37

It depends on the personality of the 'child'. My son is very conscientious about visiting us, keeping in touch, including us, but that's the way he is - very family orientated. He wouldn't allow any estrangement of our grandchildren, ever.

We see a lot of my daughter's children too, but because she needs us, for child minding, school runs, etc. as her husband works shifts and she teaches full time.

Greenfinch Wed 09-Jul-14 07:08:58

My daughter's children I see 5 times a week or more; my son's I see once a month for a couple of hours. They both live within 10 miles of us. y DiL sees her mother every day. My SiL sees his about 3 times a year and she only lives about50 miles away. There's absolutely no rivalry between grandparents. it just how things are.

MiceElf Wed 09-Jul-14 06:35:09

Did this happen in your family when your children were small, Mrs Mopp?

I would have thought that rivalry between grandmothers does not set a good example to their children or grandchildren.

mrsmopp Wed 09-Jul-14 00:33:38

Does the paternal granny take second place to the maternal granny? Ideally they should both be equally involved with the children, but it often happens that the paternal granny is sidelined in favour of the children's mother's side.
I know of several instances where this is the case and grannies are rivals for time spent with the children. It can be very upsetting for those involved, especially for the paternal granny who is often left out. A sad state of affairs but the children's mum is naturally going to favour her own mother when it comes to babysitting etc.
I'm not saying it's right but I do see it happening regularly.