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Looking after my grandson

(12 Posts)
WendyH Thu 10-Jul-14 16:51:41

My husband and I will be looking after out 8 months old grandson for a couple of days a week. He is currently very attached to my daughter and gets upset when they are separated. I wonder if anyone has any advice or tips as to how to manage this when he comes to us. I know he will be upset. We are very lucky as his wonderful father who is sharing the care will be around but any help would be so much appreciated.


Iam64 Thu 10-Jul-14 16:56:01

Hlowers]e's at the right age for separation anxiety to kick in Wendy. If you're caring for him at his home, it'd help to increase the amount of visits you make there, help with the stuff you'll be doing when you're looking after him so he gets used to the fact not only mummy feeds/changes/cuddles him.

Keep to his routines as much as possible, and don't worry, he'll be fine flowers

WendyH Thu 10-Jul-14 17:05:19

Thanks for your comment, we did plan to spend some of the time at our house as his father is a musician and would be able to work if we were not there, fingers crossed

Aka Thu 10-Jul-14 17:05:58

Your house or his?

Aka Thu 10-Jul-14 17:10:13

Crossed posts.

I'd start at his house and then in a couple of weeks/months if you want to move to yours he'll be used to you and his mum leaving.

Most children of this age will get anxious when mum leaves but it's usually only for a few minutes and you can distract him with toys, etc.. Don't make a big issue of it or he will think there is something to worry about.

WendyH Thu 10-Jul-14 17:11:49

Thanks again

Nelliemoser Thu 10-Jul-14 17:37:42

Yes it is a time for increased separation anxiety. Try as much hands on care for him as you can while his parents are about so he can see you with them. Enjoy!

Anne58 Thu 10-Jul-14 17:43:13

This might sound mad, but bear with me! When DS1 was small, he was very happy for Grandma to come and collect him from our house, but didn't like it at all if we dropped him off at hers.

I think if he was the one doing the "leaving" as far as he was concerned we stayed exactly where he left us, i.e. at home, but if we were the ones to be making an exit, he had no idea where we might be!

Does that make any sense?

WendyH Thu 10-Jul-14 17:48:27

Actually it does will have to maybe try that thank you

Nelliemoser Thu 10-Jul-14 19:33:54

Phoenix My DGS has always seen his Grandma several times a week and was always very happy to see her, her but when he was about 10 mnths he started getting really upset whenever she "appeared" in his house.

In the end Dad started taking DGS round to his mum's with him when he went to help her walk back to their house and he was fine with that.

Who knows what goes through small children's minds.

Anne58 Thu 10-Jul-14 19:51:31

I know what you mean Nellie sometimes it's just a case of try everything until something comes right!

But as I said up there ^ that was worked for DS1, although it did take a bit of time for the penny to drop with me, once it did though the whole process was a breeze. (Although there were times when my mother would have preferred us to drop him off, all parties realised what worked best)

Deedaa Thu 10-Jul-14 21:01:08

GS1 was about this age when I started looking after him. At first DD only worked 2 days a week and gradually worked up to 5days. As DH was still working I used to mainly stay in their house and I don't remember any great problems with him, although he was always very pleased to see her when she came home. With GS2 who is 18 months I find that he is much happier if mummy puts him in my car and we leave. He hates it if mummy is the one leaving.