Gransnet forums


Feeling guilty

(8 Posts)
luckygram Tue 15-Jul-14 20:02:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ana Tue 15-Jul-14 20:15:09

I do hope those aren't your GC's real names, luckygran - remember that this is an open site and anyone in the world can read your posts.

I'd say, just give it time. We don't always feel exactly the same about each of our own children, never mind grandchildren, but it will come!

grannyactivist Tue 15-Jul-14 20:40:54

luckygram when I met my husband I felt nothing for him at all and then, over a long period of time, first a friendship and then love grew. Many, many parents and grandparents experience this seeming lack of love when children are born. Give it time, act as though you love him and eventually I expect there will come a day when you realise you love his little socks off. And just in case that doesn't happen then make sure that you're always scrupulously fair with all your grandchildren.

Kiora Tue 15-Jul-14 21:18:56

I have 3 children. When I had my youngest I was horrified that I felt almost nothing for him at birth. I'd had such a rush of love at his siblings births. I felt I just went through the motions of caring for him. Then one evening when he was about 8 weeks old as I sat feeding him out of the blue.........ssssshhhh all at once it came. In a way it's more special to me. Unlike the other twos experiences that happened alongside being exhausted and somewhat traumatised at the birth the memory is hazy. The rush I got at the 8 week point is sharp in my memory. It's one of the highlights of my life. I love him every bit as much as his siblings. So don't worry relax just watch and wait it will come. As grannya says if it doesn't you must act your socks off and never ever show it.

Deedaa Tue 15-Jul-14 21:24:29

Honestly I wouldn't worry luckygran it doesn't always happen instantly. I quite liked GS2, but I didn't develop any deep feelings for him till he was about a year old and now he is the most gorgeous thing in the world. I've only seen GS3 a few times since he was born and haven't developed any great connection with him yet, but I'm sure it will come.

Tegan Tue 15-Jul-14 21:51:55

I instantly loved my eldest grandson because he looked just like my own children when they were babies. The younger one looked nothing like them and it completely threw me...I love him now but it wasn't instant [dear little thing, he had to work for it sad].

ninathenana Tue 15-Jul-14 23:42:15

I didn't have an instant love for either of my own or my grand children. I don't remember a moment when it happened but now of course I love them all.

Deedaa Sun 20-Jul-14 22:51:12

That's the problem I shall face with GS3 Tegan I had no idea how I would feel about GS1, but when I first held him he had a little nick out of one ear, just like his mother and my instant reaction was"Oh hello it's you!" I had the same instant recognition with his brother even though the loving took longer. GS3 on the other hand is very like his hungarian mother with only occasional flashes of his father and although he's very sweet there isn't the same family feeling.