Grandparents wanted

I just wondered if anything came of this? My Grandauughter is in Australia and I would so love a small child to have some contact with locally. I live in East Yorkshire.

I doubt this can be done as a small scale initiative other than in a very casual sense although from small acorns ...

Age UK say there are over two million older people in the UK with no-one. AWwoC (Ageing Well without Children) is an organisation looking for solutions to the issue of people growing old alone.

It seems to me that both of these agencies could look at building that bridge between parents who would love their children to have surrogate grandparents and older people who would enjoy the company of surrogate grandchildren.

The Channel Four programme Old People's Home for Four Year Olds showed how mutually beneficial the contact between young and old can be.

Hi - sorry, think I just pressed enter by mistake! Does anyone know if a service like this exists yet or not? Been looking into this but can't seem to find any that are still running. Thanks!

Hi

In 2014...I wrote upon the forum page. I am now wondering if this is the post to which is referred.
Its awful to think that when your son leaves home to attend University...for which I am most proud..and your home is now empty..that your heart feels empty too. I was a late mum..31 when I had my baby..still my baby now..lol..but when you have so much love to give and so many cuddles to share..why should that be an issue. I thought long and hard before I posted my request...but l wasn't just thinking of myself..there are people everywhere that have lost their parents and grandparents too. I still long for a daughter...someone to go shopping ..or vist places with...laugh with...or to comfort and hold their hand when they need me...be on the end of the phone or a knock on the door in times of trouble..or perhaps just a shoulder to cry on..the fact they may have children and the thought of having grand children delights me... yes there are risks...and yes I have been CRB checked...for the vulnerable .but all I was hoping for was a family...to adopt care for and love. However, I have now moved from York to South West Wales..Pembrokeshire .to be close to my ailing dad..my sister and nieces and thrown into the mix.. great niece and nephew. But I still long for grandchildren myself..I don't want to be the old granny that sits there staring at the TV because that all I can do. Whilst I am still active and able l want to go everywhere with my extended family..to kick up in the air the autumn leaves..make the snow men and snow angels..find the easter eggs the bunnies left behind and make the biggest sandcastles on the beach....i would like to enjoy life and bring happiness and pleasure to others..to entertain ..children's magician by trade..and mostly to give love to those that want it..So if there is anyone out there ...please drop me a line..

I am looking for grandparents also. My husband and I lost both sets of parents, so my beautiful little girl has no family apart from one uncle and aunt and 2 cousins. I am desperate for her to have grandparents that deserve her love. She is so funny,bright and kind

Hello, I am a mother of 2. I have a little girl who is 3 and a boy who is 10. Myself and my partner are desperately seeking Grandparents for our little ones and us. My mum sadly passed away a couple of years ago but even when she was around she lived far away so didn't really get to appreciate her grandkids often. My partner never knew his parents either as he grew up in care. I feel like my kids are really missing out on having grand parents. I feel its really important for them to grow up being able to "look up" to the older generation, to learn from and enjoy their company. My 10 year old especially wishes he had a nanny and granddads house to pop to after school to help out run errands, help with the gardening, play board games etc. It would be lovely to be able to have the "grandparents" over on a Sunday for roast dinner. It makes me really sad that he may never have that. I never had grandparents because my mum was Polish so they were very far away. However i did have a "nanny poole" who was a close friend of my mothers. I have fond memories of Sunday lunches and games of checkers. Her husband who we called "Uncle Ron' used to teach me how to do the gardening. We are by no means lonely or looking for childcare. I work part time and my 3 year old is in nursery and my son moving up to secondary school in September. But we do feel like something is missing in our lives and feel like we have a lot to give. There must be someone older local to us who would want to become part of our family. But how we find that person/s i am at a loss. Can anyone help? We are in Okehampton Devon

I'm a mother of 5 (15,11,8,6&2) and I'd love to adopt grandparents for our family. We live in Ilford

I never knew that, I will look into it for sure thanks x

The idea is happening now according to this thread on mumsnet, so perhaps a PM to the OP over there is a way to go?

There is a Medway befriending service, where younger people volunteer to visit lonely older people - maybe you could get involved in that and then, once you have got to know somebody, get your children involved gradually in a natural way, i.e. take them along for the occasional visit if the older person seems keen, and something may develop from that?

Apologies if I am repeating ideas here as I have skim read some of the posts, but /I had a thought .... My children grew up in a church community and had several 'adopted' grannies and grandpas who were members of the congregation. If you do not have a nearby neighbourly person, I think there may be some merit in contacting your local vicar as a safe source of possible introduction.
I meet so many 'lonely ladies' in church congregations - I think it is very possible that there is someone local to you who would love the interaction you are keen for.
What you are seeking needs someone who can mediate so that both sides feel safe and can take things at the right pace.

Just a thought.

hmm I agree ladies there is a gap for this, but how!?

Maybe ill ask Mark Zuckerburg to set it up lol

I will keep thinking, hope you all have a great Christmas :-)

x

I think it's a lovely idea that could be beneficial to both the children and the grandparents.

I totally get all the security concerns and that the world has more than its fair share of nutters and perverts BUT ....... the world also has a plethora of older people who have no grandchildren who are neither nutty or perverted.

You can't paint all people with the same brush. There must be a way of putting checks and balances in place.

I'm inundated with grandkids lol BUT if I wasn't I'd definitely be interested.

Hi MrsC15 Posts like yours pop up often on GN, and I for one would love to respond with a 'Yes, let's go for it, I'd love to have grandchildren in my life, and here's a family with no older family members in their life'...magic!

I fully understand why there needs to be safeguards. I've looked online for a respectable site that responsibly 'matches' surrogate grans to young families, but there doesn't appear to be such a place - which potentially leaves a huge hole in bringing all family members, young and old, together.

Setting up a legal site online, 'matching up' surrogate grans/grandchildren would be an enormous task, beyond my abilities.

I believe there's interest in this idea shown on MN as well as GN - so it seems to me there's a potential for MN and GN to get together and maybe help come up with some guidance as to if/how it would be possible to bring together mum's with small children wanting an older presence in their lives, with grans who carry the heartache of not having small children in their lives. Just a thought.....

Hi All,

Sorry for the long delay, I haven't been able to get on here for some reason my email wasn't working.

Trisher, OK they do not have active grandparents. They would not recognise them in a photo.
And no I can not just try with my parents. I think after basically them having nothing to do with me for years they are not now going to be suddenly interested in my children. And to be honest the kind of people they are im not sure I want my children around their bitterness anyway but that's a whole other story. So its not about approving of them its about reality.

My point is my children see all my friends, and their kids, they see their aunts and uncles but there is no one of the older generation, for instance for my son to ask about war or 'in the old days', someone who will more than likely have very different views and ways than us. Great for the kids.

My neighbours all have their own families, grandchildren etc.

I realise its a real hard task and security is paramount, its just seems to be a lot of people have this issue and there are apparently so many older people alone or don't speak to people.
I was thinking maybe a trip to a care home but that's a bit more impersonal.

Im not sure how it would work or how to go about it to be honest, just my grandparents were a huge part of my life and It makes me sad my kids don't have that kind of figure in their lives.

they ont sound like great parents to me trisher no wonder poster is looking for someone, some things cant be fixed.

Your post is a bit confusing- you say "My 2 boys aged 2 and 9, don't have any grandparents." Then admit that your husband doesn't see his mum and you don't get on with your parents. So they have grandparents just not ones you approve of. Yes you probably can find a couple of oldies who will befriend your family, but being a grandparent is also about telling family stories and sharing memories. Couldn't you try with your relatives and tell them how you feel?

I entirely agree. Why not try to find people on a personal basis ie via organisations like the church. Very uncool I know but there are generally nice older ladies at various church groups who could become befrienders over time. Much better than online anyway. I do understand why you're looking for a gran but how you go about it isn't as easy as just advertising. Good luck!

I am also in the phoenix Elegran and whenim64 camp. One cannot be too careful.

I agree with phoenix and Elegran. Please - don't invite strangers to make their interest known. Responsible and wise adults will give your request a wide berth in the interests of child protection. I wouldn't ever approach a family in such circumstances. Get to know neighbours and people who can be vetted, who are known by other parents, not strangers who could have the wrong motivation for responding to your search.

if everyone took your attitude phoenix then nobody would do anything with children, that's why we have safeguarding. Surrogate Grandparenting is one of the most popular topics I have read about.

There is definitely a demand for the service and also in North America demand is huge.

a lot of people are at risk from their actual family!!!!!!

I came on here looking for tips on finding grandparents for my youngest. Both my parents have passed away as well as my husband's father; the rest of his family live in Australia and therefore we see them very rarely.

From 18months I had a 'babysitter' who quickly became an integral part of my family in a grandparent role. She was a very important person in my childhood years and was the first person on my invite list for family events and special occasions and long after I needed a babysitter, I would choose to visit and spend time with her.

Grandparents are a unique and important part of someones life and bring so much to growing up. I don't want my son to miss out on grandparents, especially as his (significantly) older siblings had both.

I am hoping that we can find grandparent(s) that can become a part of our family, that can share their love, wisdom and experience with my son, and fill that role that only grandparents can.

I agree that facebook is not the right place for something like this but a proper website/agency that can vet people and matchmake families would be a fantastic idea.

We are in the Bath area and if any would like to be or knows someone who might like to be part of a lively 3 yr old's life and family, please message me.

Thanks

grandfriend I don't think we should be too "gung ho" about this, yes, great idea and could be of mutual benefit to both parties, but the previous comments re Facebook page are very valid.

Unfotunately, there are those out there who look for, identify and target those that mght be deemed "vulnerable" for whatever reason.

Perhaps the od adage "better safe than sorry" is best aplied?

don't be so negative Elegaran this scheme could work and there is a real need for it.

If everyone adopted the same attitude as you nobody would ever help anyone or help any children.

I agree it has to be set up correctly but I'm sure it is a good idea.