We have an adored 3 year old GD who lives some distance away and who we only get to see every couple of months or so for a brief visit. We try to FaceTime but she is usually "too busy" to talk. She has a great relationship with DH as he pulls faces at her and laughs and jokes with her but I am increasingly troubled by her reluctance to have a relationship with me.
I try and play with her or read her stories but all the time her mother is around she wants nothing to do with me and even frowns when I try to join in with painting or colouring. When we have been out for walks just on our own she is happy to take my hand and chats happily to me and when I am left on my own to babysit her she plays happily with me for a whole day although she won't kiss or cuddle me or let me sit on the sofa with her.
On a recent 4 day visit (without DH) the only times she would give me a hug and a kiss was at bedtime when she was saying goodnight to everybody. On the day I left I gave DS and DIL a hug and kiss goodbye but as I approached GD she started to yell and scream as though I was a monster! DIL just laughed. You can imagine how distraught this made me feel but I did not show it and made light of it saying I would give an extra hug to DS who could give it to her later from Nanna.
Now, I am sure you are thinking I must be doing something terribly wrong but DH has a theory and I think he may be right. You see many times in her short life she has been left for long periods with me whilst her parents travel. When she was just 1 she was left with me for 5 days, when she was 2 she was left with me for 12 days and at 2 and a half she was left with me for 3 long weekends of 4 days each over the space of 3 months. I loved those times although I confess I did struggle with the nappies sleepless nights and having sole responsibility for her (DH works long hours). DH believes that GD now associates any visit from me with her parents going away and that that is the problem. She is very very attached to her mother (nothing wrong with that) but a new baby will be arriving soon.
This is not how I thought my relationship with my GD would be as our family has always been very huggy and I had and continue to have great relationships with my sons. Do you think it is a passing phase that will sort itself out and is there anything I should do or not do in this situation?
jojojo Sat 14-Feb-15 22:23:46
Mishap Sat 14-Feb-15 23:00:04
seasider Sun 15-Feb-15 01:07:48
rubylady Sun 15-Feb-15 02:30:20
Leticia Sun 15-Feb-15 07:44:03
Humbertbear Sun 15-Feb-15 09:53:51
Marmight Sun 15-Feb-15 11:05:12
FlicketyB Sun 15-Feb-15 15:48:42
annodomini Sun 15-Feb-15 17:03:34
Mishap Sun 15-Feb-15 17:04:27
jinglbellsfrocks Sun 15-Feb-15 17:31:37
jojojo Mon 16-Feb-15 08:39:28
Leticia Mon 16-Feb-15 09:02:03
BetterNotBitter Mon 16-Feb-15 13:01:14
Stansgran Thu 19-Feb-15 12:37:22
harrigran Thu 19-Feb-15 12:48:32
Tegan Thu 19-Feb-15 13:44:25
Leticia Thu 19-Feb-15 17:10:20
Iam64 Thu 19-Feb-15 18:40:19