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Grandparenting

special days cause so much trouble

(157 Posts)
etheltbags1 Thu 12-Mar-15 15:10:06

Mothers day is looming and in our family that brings trouble.
DD has been asked to go to her MIL and they are having a family party with lots of relatives, to celebrate mothers day. She wants to visit me with DGD, they want DGD too.so there will be bitching and falling out. Last year dd visited me first and on the way back called at the in laws and they got a lecture about visiting them last.
It is the same with xmas, so last year DD said she would not go to anyones house and just stay at home. She allowed me to visit in the morning to see DGD open some presents and she kept some to open later when MIL called.
She tries to keep us exactly the same but her MIL is so bitchy, DD is becoming sick of special days.
We have Easter looming and with 4 days of celebration her MIL will be counting the hours I see DGd and wanting more than me. It is a competition.
Im ok with the MIL seeing DGD more than me, it is inevitable that some times she will see her more and other times I will see her more.

I had the same problem with my MIL who used to invite me as early as possible before my mother invited us, I used to feel bad as my mother is alone and always used to give her priority but that caused trouble until my MIL used to invite my mother too.

Why do families fight like this.I had hoped that DDs MIL would be my friend and we could visit each other but she has no friends, just her family.
If I babysit I have to sneak out after dark with DGD in case the other gran sees me and she wants to know why I have her.(she lives nearby).
Any comments

joannapiano Wed 18-Mar-15 08:54:03

I think I'm a bit older than you Ana!

Sewsilver Tue 17-Mar-15 23:02:19

I lived in Didsbury when the children were young and they went to Beaver Road and then on to secondary school. Sometimes I wish those days were back again life seemed so much easier than it is at the moment.

Ana Tue 17-Mar-15 22:49:52

I shared a flat in Didsbury in the early 70s when I was a student too - but I don't think it was with joannapiano (although of course you never know!).

janeainsworth Tue 17-Mar-15 22:34:21

joanna apparently Owens Park is going to be demolished because it is no longer 'fit for purpose'.
When I was at Manchester it was fairly new and the 'in' place to have a room.
I lived in Withington which was nearer to the university than Didsbury, but it still necessitated a bus ride to get there. There was one bus driver who would call out 'Manchester Holiday Camp!' as the bus drew up outside the Students Union on Oxford Road grin

joannapiano Tue 17-Mar-15 22:10:18

I shared a flat in Didsbury when I was a student, and had a boyfriend who lived in Owens Park in Fallowfield.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 21:52:10

That counts.

Coolgran65 Tue 17-Mar-15 18:42:39

I did once visit a friend in Didsbury about 40 years ago. !!

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 16:50:22

it's the posh bit

Anya Tue 17-Mar-15 16:31:50

Apparently it is

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 16:27:03

Is it worth a day trip?

#gettingcuriousnow

whenim64 Tue 17-Mar-15 16:12:29

...er.....I've just been out for lunch in Didsbury.....hee hee grin

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 11:50:45

any more? Lurkers welcome. smile

Soutra Tue 17-Mar-15 11:37:12

Haven't lived in Didsbury, but Dd lived in Fallowfield in her final year at Manchester in a street behind the Fire Station and we too used to take her to lunch in Didsbury!!

annodomini Tue 17-Mar-15 11:13:56

When my GD was a student and lived in Fallowfield, I used to take her to lunch in Didsbury. Does that count?

Ariadne Tue 17-Mar-15 11:09:30

Really, though (back to OP as I have never been to Didsbury) it isn't the "special days" that cause trouble, it's the people involved in them, isn't it? The awkward, the difficult, the angry etc family members are the ones who cause trouble.

And yes, I do see that a special occasion will exacerbate the problems.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 11:02:45

Ok. Another 'hands up'. Anyone who hasn't lived in Didsbury? wink

annsixty Tue 17-Mar-15 11:00:52

I don't like being left out of anything so.... I lived for a while in Fallowfield just off Wilbraham Road, and would push DD in the buggy to Didsbury and we used to go to see the Police horses which were stabled there.

Faye Tue 17-Mar-15 10:53:20

Because jingle the story of Mothering Sunday being celebrated so servants could visit their mothers is something that must have passed me by. grin I thought it started centuries ago and had more to do with the church. I would imagine the servants having the day off to visit their mothers would have happened much later.

Same as Halloween which had its origins in England, Scotland and Ireland. Many of these traditions would have been continued by immigrants from the UK and are still celebrated in those countries where many of the British settled. Just nowadays everything is very commercialised.

rosequartz Tue 17-Mar-15 10:33:37

anno I didn't realise you lived in Mexico grin

rosequartz Tue 17-Mar-15 10:32:13

It's called Mother's Day in Australia (like the Americans) and it is celebrated in May.

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 10:26:19

I don't think Faye is actually Australian, although I know she lives there now.

Now that makes it sound like I'm criticising Faye in particular! shock I'm not criticising anyone!

God! Things can get misinterpreted on GN! hmm

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 10:22:02

Not patronising. Just a bit surprised.

annodomini Tue 17-Mar-15 10:20:00

Well, jingl, I'd never heard of Mothering Sunday until I came south of the Border so it's hardly surprising if an Austraiian member didn't know of it. Don't be so patronising!

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 17-Mar-15 09:59:19

My uncle went to Beaver Road! I went to Gatley Primary

jinglbellsfrocks Tue 17-Mar-15 09:35:43

Crikey Faye! How have you managed to reach your ever-so-slightly-advanced-years without hearing about that? confused