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Not feeling much like a granny

(7 Posts)
Vivvi Thu 12-Mar-15 22:13:56

My son and DiL live in NZ. Their first baby was born a year ago - I have just arrived in NZ for an extended visit to meet my grandbaby and help out ... I'm alarmed that I'm not feeling very grandmotherly, baby isn't too enamoured of me (he's very attached to his mum and cries whenever he isn't with her) and Dil now wants to pass up a job opportunity because she's afraid of the changes this will bring about. Advice please?!!!!!

annodomini Thu 12-Mar-15 22:47:25

Hi Vivvi, I hope you enjoy your visit to NZ and your family. You can't expect a year-old baby who's never seen you before to take to you immediately. I'd just be there in the same room and not make a big effort to attract his attention. His curiosity will get the better of him eventually and it sounds as if you have plenty of time.

Marmight Thu 12-Mar-15 23:13:14

Hang in there Vivvi. I go through this every time I visit my gc's in Sydney. The youngest is 2.5 and still screams if she is left with me, or even if I offer to do something for her and I've been here for 5 weeks shock. I think I have crunched it today as DD had to go out alone and there was no choice but to leave her with me. We are sitting at the table having quite a reasonable conversation! Her sister was the same and only became communicative once she went to school. The 2 boys are fine although the older one who is just 11 only grunts from behind his iPad... But that's another story.
I would take it slowly and after a few days he will naturally take to you. I am not a very grandmotherly granny either. It is hard to watch your gc's being brought up with different values from your own and differently from your own children.
Have a wonderful time in NZ and I am sure you and he will soon be great friends.

merlotgran Thu 12-Mar-15 23:28:09

Just relax, Vivvi. I agree with anno, one year old babies are curious and a happy, cheerful presence will be right up their street.

As soon as you see smiles and hear chuckles you'll be amazed how grandmotherly you feel.

Have a great time.

Vivvi Thu 12-Mar-15 23:54:50

Thanks ladies - it always helps to have a little support! Hoping DiL takes the job and lets us get to know one another without intervening ... Shall keep you posted smile

grannyactivist Thu 12-Mar-15 23:57:41

Vivvi hello and welcome to gransnet.
My daughter and son in law are also in NZ and expecting their first baby in mid June. I shall be going out there in late July and staying for three weeks so, all being well, I will see the baby as a newborn, but thereafter visits will probably be few and far between. Grandparenting from a distance is always going to be tricky, but I'm hugely encouraged by the number of grans on here who have spoken of their experiences and somehow make it work. smile

loopylou Fri 13-Mar-15 07:18:22

It's nothing to worry about Vivvi, it's all very new and it will suddenly hit you!
Eighteen month old GS definitely prefers GFs at the moment-not appreciated by the GM visiting from abroad when he ignores her for an entire two weeks visit!
We only see him occasionally but FaceTime regularly when his face lights up as soon as we 'connect'. He's recently started asking for Nonna and gives DS or DDIL the iPad, particularly if he's a bit tired or off colour, so, so lovely!
Enjoy your new GS x