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Grandparenting

Any grandparents out there who have lost GC to forced adoption

(12 Posts)
nannynoo Sun 26-Jul-15 17:16:00

I was SO patient and calm and compliant with them

It must have been so hard for you to deal with all the emotions during this

I found it hard too , used to rant and cry etc behind the scenes and be calm and smiles when dealing with them but as you did I found out very early on too it does NOT help to fight against them

nannynoo Sun 26-Jul-15 17:03:21

Am not sure if I have got this wrong but were some injuries eg bruises caused ( unintentionally ) by the medical team when drawing blood etc?

I always come up in a bruise in the location of the syringe prick when they take blood from me

Also the fact that you fought them worked against you?

What happened with your lawyer to make you not trust him too?

nannynoo Sun 26-Jul-15 16:55:26

My belief is that children should be placed with family wherever POSSIBLE ie UNLESS they are at risk of any harm , sadly it does not always work out like this even if it is best for the child/ren

I know of Grandparents in their 60's etc , with disabilities and health problems and they are doing a FABULOUS job , the kids are secure and thriving and doing well and it really is their 'soft place to land' after everything they have been through already , we don't want to mess these kids up more than they have already been , we want to give them a place to HEAL! xxx

I also feel their very IDENTITY is important and that comes from family around them , you can't beat a blood relative and if there is no risk of harm you really can't beat it as being the best for a child/ren xx

It is a whole different type of LOVE too which comes naturally x

granjura Sun 26-Jul-15 07:21:28

I am so so sorry, it must be so awful and painful. I won't comment any further,as I must say I truly do not understand what you are describing. Are you truly saying that medical staff have deliberately hurt your GC repeatedly?

nannynoo Sun 26-Jul-15 04:09:47

This makes me want to cry sad

There are some good support groups on Facebook etc , will try and post links tomorrow xx

nannynoo Sun 26-Jul-15 04:07:23

I feel your pain Ashmore and it must go deep sad

The grief is unimaginable , you are coping with so many different emotions and you are a TROOPER

I want to support you in any way I can as this sort of thing DOES happen and it 'nearly' happened to me until they changed the SW and things turned around for the better thankfully and miraculously but it was almost a 'by the skin of my teeth' situation as I know how easily it could have gone the other way

The powerlessness feelings used to really get me down to the point of fighting off waves of depression and as soon as I felt empowered again those waves subsided!!!

It is a HORRIBLE feeling and I was and still am to a point SCARED of the powers the authorities have as they CAN INDEED get it wrong sometimes and am so blessed the way things turned out for me as I know it COULD have been very different and that scares the bejesus out of me and this sort of thing HAS TO STOP - I believe it is WRONG and unjust and a misuse of power etc

My heart goes out to you , truly xxxxxxx

I do believe everyone will reap what they sow in the end and I believe that is a FACT!!!

Keep sharing and getting all your feelings off your chest!

You are doing amazingly well dealing with this all!

Ashmore32 Thu 25-Jun-15 18:59:17

jumping to conclusions here too. both parents were fitted up as an easy way to avoid 'blaming medical professionals. none of which was sorted out in either court due to lawyers 'acting' in the interest of the child.Despite dozens of professional medical articles to prove the experts were just Local Authority lapdogs. i was unable to get an SGO because I had made the mistake of asking questions about missing investigations and my witness statements as to how the injuries happened. In hindsight had I known how dangerous it was to do this i would have kept my mouth shut. I know now that I could not even trust my own lawyers!
i am an experienced health professional who can account for all the injuries. i witnessed all bar one of them. i was barred from giving evidence as it did not suit the defence teams plans. not all abuse is what social services will have you believe. social services really ought to get their act together. there are some tragedies that should have been prevented. if they were not hounding innocent families then they would not be so over worked!
any immobile child going to a and e with a bruise will be subject to scrutiny. BUT until you are unfortunate to get caught up in it you will not realise how dangerous social services are. we can't have medical professionals being accused when parents are siting ducks!

J52 Thu 25-Jun-15 18:27:52

Heartbreaking for everyone. I can only offer you flowers x

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 25-Jun-15 18:27:50

I am amazed the father, being totally innnocent of harming the child, or of colluding with the mother in that, has not been granted custody of the little girl. Why have they taken her away from her father? confused

Ashmore32 Thu 25-Jun-15 18:16:53

I would find this so much easier if my son was responsible. I watched doctors nurses and midwives injure her during tests parents got blamed for. nightmares as fresh as the day they happened. th lies she will be told and the heartbreak the social workers and legal teams including his own brought on him. we both can hold our heads high knowing who is responsible. no one listened. my GD will never find out the truth. we can leave her a message but by the time she will read it, i will be too late. the letters written initially go to the adoptive parent who has shown no empathy at all.
we have memory box ready for her and us. only hope her parent will share it with her. however the censors will vet everything sent. no chance she will be allowed to find out anything from us

Luckylegs9 Thu 25-Jun-15 18:09:57

My heartfelt sympathy to you, wish I could wave a wand. It is the worst pain imaginable, all those hugs and special moments you want to share. It is all out of your hands if your son cannot get custody, please do not spend the rest of your life unhappy, buy a card each birthday and hopefully you will be able to send it. Buy an extra one for your memory box in case she wants contact later on, write her letters and put them in there. Let us hope that this little one has a happy life denied her at the beginning. Child abuse is the only thing that would make me disown a child, I could cope with anything else, so I understand how you feel. The child must come first and one day she will know how much you loved her, so be strong.

Ashmore32 Thu 25-Jun-15 17:42:22

Lost mine at the beginning of the year. Finding it really hard. Social Services and Health Services colluded to hide iatrogenic injuries and blame the parents.
the adoptive Parent asked for photographs which we shared willingly. Very intimate photographs. now refusing to share with us later photos. Do not want to think about the post box contacts she will share
Refusing to meet my son the father, despite the mother being found responsible and willing to meet her.
Its a horrible mess- anyone else in the same pickle and willing to share?
Counselling going round in circles. Hatred of all involved eating me alive