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He is here :-) :-) :-)

(62 Posts)
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Meercat Mon 13-Jul-15 10:58:14

So happy for you. The fact that you knew at once how to let him express his anger shows he is in exactly the right place.

All the waiting and worrying and anguish was worth it in the end.

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Ariadne Mon 13-Jul-15 10:43:09

nannynoo I am happy for you - this seems to have taken so long and it must have seemed forever.

You will give him everything he needs and deserves emotionally and physically, from experience and from intuition and instinct. Xx

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jinglbellsfrocks Mon 13-Jul-15 10:40:08

something like this might save your sofa

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jinglbellsfrocks Mon 13-Jul-15 10:35:28

Sounds like you are doing all the right things nannynoo and you have my total admiration for what it's worth. flowers

I am so glad he is where he belongs. x

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merlotgran Mon 13-Jul-15 10:27:33

I think you are amazing, nannynoo. flowers smile

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Gagagran Mon 13-Jul-15 10:04:26

You have my total admiration Nannynoo for what you have fought so hard for and achieved. Give it time - he will gradually relax and then so can you. These first few weeks were always going to be hard as he begins to believe that he is staying this time. Well done you. What a star Grandmother! flowers

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soontobe Mon 13-Jul-15 09:37:09

I would ask for advice from the social workers, and read up online about adandonment.

I think you are doing very well.

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shysal Mon 13-Jul-15 09:31:41

Enjoy the years ahead, Nannynoo and your little man. It is no surprise that he is insecure and may be testing you. You will get through it together. sunshine

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ninathenana Mon 13-Jul-15 09:13:21

He's lucky to have you. That sounds so patronising I know but I struggled to express the fact that you know the way to cope with him that's right for both of you.
The only way is up ! smile
So happy for you both.

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NfkDumpling Mon 13-Jul-15 06:22:14

Wonderful news Nannynoo! I can't believe it's taken so long. Hopefully not too much damage has been done.

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nannynoo Mon 13-Jul-15 01:46:57

It is horrible to see and feel his fear but it is only natural as well , it feels like fear of abandonment but I would NEVER abandon him nomatter HOW hard it gets - I am here for him for the long haul and we will work through it all together

I wish he wasn't 'damaged' at all through this , but as long as he GETS HIS HEALING and becomes a secure , confident , happy little boy who is thriving I will be truly happy too as it does hurt to see him like this even though I expected it to a point I didn't exactly expect it to be how it exactly is as you never know till it happens and is in your face as it were but so happy he feels he can be himself and offload his emotions and look to me for reassurance too etc xx

I think 'easy does it' is the way to go x

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nannynoo Mon 13-Jul-15 01:37:24

Little man is tucked up in bed smile

I am going to get some much needed shut eye soon as have been busy from the first minute he was here lol

Day 4 now and not even had TIME to catch up on here...

He is SO happy to be here ( please see my previous posts if not aware what I am talking about even lol )

He can't seem to believe it and nor can I

We are laughing a lot of course and having fun eg in the park , making cakes , playing in the garden , making new friends etc BUT there IS a bitter sweet side to this unfortunately as he was away so long etc ie his EMOTIONAL well being and the emotional fall out / his healing time , bless him

Is displaying some 'behaviours' like peeing on the floor and spitting etc and he never did this before and is nearly 8 now so I just stayed calm and said ''big boys pee in the toilet'' and he has MOSTLY being doing it in there now especially as I stay calm about it but he is EXTRA clingy and insecure etc and seems VERY worried and anxious he is going to be taken away again / has to go back again , he knows his stuff is here etc but he still seems worried bless him , he is SO happy here yet of course he has FEELINGS even though he cannot fully express them in words due to his Autism so when his frustration and anxiety and anger come up I am encouraging him to hit the settee as it is soft and he NEEDS to get it all out somehow and it seems to really be helping him as he has a good hit of the settee with a very angry look on his face bless him and then a look of RELIEF , a smile , then he is off playing happily again and he even instigates it himself now when the feelings come up inside!!

Reckon he has a lot of anger inside , it seems he has abandonment issues to me and I do want to be that 'soft place for him to land' and be able to FULLY HEAL HERE and feel SECURE and happy of course , but the secure bit is going to take a while as even at school in the morning they end up having to drag him away from me as he is clinging on and I WISH he was with me A LOT SOONER but I can't change that I can only do everything I can to help him heal and overcome his issues etc which I know will put a stop to the behaviours which are going with it / being caused by it so he IS a happy little boy on one hand but he does have some emotional issues to deal with now after everything he has been through sad

I believe he will heal though , my heart aches to see him so clingy and insecure as he has been EXTRA clingy ever since he was handed over to me , he has NEVER held my hand SO tightly and keeps holding my hand really tightly and looking into my eyes for signs of ''YES , you are here for GOOD or for as long as needed but back IN the FAMILY again now!''

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