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Grandparenting

Home or away?

(10 Posts)
Daisydaughter Sun 30-Aug-15 08:09:33

We have been asked to look after our 8month old granddaughter for three nights. Not sure whether it is best for this to be in her home (will she be continually waiting for her parents to walk in) or ours (will she miss her home environment?). Advice welcome.

thatbags Sun 30-Aug-15 08:16:34

My mum used to say that babies and young children cope best when there is only one major change in who is looking after them or where. Based on that, I'd suggest you look after your grandchild in its own home. The person has changed but not the place in that scenario.

My mum raised five kids successfully so I suppose she knows a thing or two.

Jane10 Sun 30-Aug-15 08:17:48

She'll need a shed load of 'stuff' if she comes to you. I could never get over the paraphernalia that comes with baby GC staying. It might be simpler if you went to stay at her home. Its lovely having our DGSs to stay here. We make it a wee holiday and have lots of fun but I'm going to stay there next month for a change. Haven't done that since they were babies. Whatever you decide -have fun!

Anya Sun 30-Aug-15 09:12:00

Daisydaughter you haven't given us enough information to answer this.

For example - do you look after your GD on a regular basis and have you had her overnight at your house before?

If the answers are yes and yes, then she should be fine to stay with you for three nights. If the answers are yes and no, then it's a toss up which would be best, though if she has a regular afternoon nap at your house I'd say an overnight or three shouldn't present a problem.

If the answer is no and no, then it's her house which would be best, but I wish you both luck, if neither of you are used to each other.

hildajenniJ Sun 30-Aug-15 09:12:58

I always went to stay at their home when I was asked to look after DGC when they were babies. It is so much easier, and bedrooms, night time noises etc. are all familiar. I never slept very well, having half an ear open in case baby cried. I don't look after them very much now as the "baby" is nearly 3 and they now live in Scotland.

Lona Sun 30-Aug-15 09:24:55

Assuming that you and gd are used to each other smile I would look after her at your own home. I found my dgd loved to explore all the new and exciting ( grin ) things in my house when she was sitting on the floor or crawling, which is very tiring for you!
I was always more able to rest and relax in my own place and my own bed.
Each to their own though.

Indinana Sun 30-Aug-15 13:17:10

We're having our 10 week old GD staying overnight tonight. I had thought about going to her house, but I have such trouble sleeping, that being in a strange bed would probably keep me awake all night!
DGD is, however, very used to being in our house, as my DD stayed with us for 5 weeks, initially to recover from the C-section, but subsequently because the baby had such bad colic that DD wasn't getting any sleep and needed support.
I think what you need to consider is: how familiar is your GD with your home? If the answer is 'not very', then would you be comfortable in hers? If she is very familiar with your home, then do you mind having to cart all the 'stuff' to yours?
Whatever you decide, have a great time with your GD smile

Luckygirl Sun 30-Aug-15 14:58:49

We have looked after 2 year old DGD since she was about 9 months for one day a week; and we always look after her here in our own home.

She took a couple of hours to adjust first time - she just wanted to sit on my lap. Same the next time but for a shorter time; and so on till she fully acclimatised.

Now she loves coming here - she has her own rituals and games here that are different from home and she seems to look forward to them. It is nice for children to experience and get to know a different environment. When her Mum comes here too she loves to show her what she does.

It works for us. She has never asked for Mum or Dad ir wanted to be taken home.

We were a bit concerned to start with because 8 - 9 months is a classic time for children to have separation anxiety, but it was all fine.

We will be having new DGS as well in the new year and DD brings him over regularly to get him used to the environment.

NfkDumpling Sun 30-Aug-15 15:32:44

I'm selfish! I try to only babysit in my own home! During the day it means I can get on with my own stuff. (I've a suspicion my DS likes to get me to come to his house as I do a bit of housework while I'm there.)

Overnight stays I find it's easier for the DGC to be completely away from the parents. They seem to settle easier and have never asked for mummy or daddy, just accepting that we are in loco parenthesis. It generally means bring their dog too - which I think helps the DGC settle and gives the parents a complete break and a lie in.

And my bed is more comfortable!

Daisydaughter Mon 31-Aug-15 19:51:40

Thanks everyone for the useful advice. To answer some questions, Polly has been to our house many times as the family live nearby but never for a night. We have done some babysitting at her home, so she is used to us. Agree with the point about all the 'stuff' being at P's house. The added complication that I hadnt mentioned is that we have a dog, so if P comes to us it will save us sorting out dog care, although life might be a bit easier without bouncy dog and crawling baby! Good to know there is not one right or wrong answer, and if we decide on home rather than away will suggest she comes here a lot more in the build up.