Ear piercing on babies

I wouldn't say anthing to your DIL about it, unless she asks for your opinion.

Common! haven't heard that phrase in a long time.
My own DD's were about 11 when I allowed them to have pierced ears, and I had my own done at the same time. It is not child abuse though, that is OTT to say that.However there is no need to have a baby's ears pierced, I mean why?

Oh Coolgran, you said exactly what my mother would have said. Things on mum's list of what was 'common' have never left me

I think calling ear piercing child abuse is to misunderstand what child abuse is. i wouldn't advocate piercing the ears of babies but lots of loving parents do this and I'd hate to think that as a sw I may have been the one on the duty desk, trying to calm down an irate grannie complaining her granddaughter had been subjected to child abuse by having her ears pierced.

I was subjected to years of pester power from my daughters but stood my ground till they reached year 6, aged 10 - 11 by which time I felt they were old enough to be responsible about PE, ear cleaning etc. My mother still felt it was common but we didn't fall out about it. That's the key for the OP I think, not to fall out with her Dil about this plan

I'm not going to shout at you Coolgran - I agree, it is common,!

I agree for all of the above reasons.
But also.... I'm just going to say it..... everyone may shout at me...
I think it looks common on a baby.

No, it's not just you!

I remember when we moved to London years ago a neighbour's child, aged 18 months, had her ears pierced and the studs seemed huge on such a tiny child.

Of course, as a result DD1, aged 6, nagged me for years to allow her to have it done. I finally relented (against my better judgement) when she was 13. Quite soon enough, although DD2 was only 12 and DD1 never let me forget that!

I know someone who had her daughter's ears pierced on the same day as her vaccinations 'to get it all over with on the same day'.

I don't think you can say anything. It's mad, but it is a cultural preference in several settings ( eg Spain) and in some groups here in the UK. What you can't do is join in with any complimenting. If asked 'doesn't she look cute?' you can say 'I preferred her ears the way they were,' and leave it there.

Agree with all x

It is child abuse, if you punched a hole in any other part of the child's body you would be in court.

Absolutely it is child abuse. It is so irresponsible, that I am incredulous that any mother would think of putting her child at risk in this way. I am horrified to be honest. And I don't think I would be able to hold back, DiL or not. What can she be thinking, stupid girl
I don't really understand how it is still legal - in most European countries smacking a child is illegal, and we're only a little more lenient on this point in the UK. So how can inflicting this sort of pain, together with the potential for further harm through infections/tearing the ears etc. be allowed?

I think it is a form of abuse to mark a baby in such a way. Baby could pull it out or have it ripped out by another child. Babies have such beautiful soft skin. I say leave it until the child is old enough to decide what they want, it is their body. I honestly do not know how I would have reacted if that had happened to my grandchildren, know you have to put up and shut up, but I would have been inwardly seething at the stupidity of it.

I'm with everyone else here, my DD also had her ears pierced when she went to secondary school. Her 7 year old daughter told us that one of her friends had had hers done over the summer and was obviously envious. I pointed out that since said grand-daughter has long hair and also spends a lot of time doing handstands and cartwheels it probably wasn't a very good idea just yet. Two of my children pulled their ears as babies when they were tired. Doesn't bear thinking about the damage if they had an ear ring in.

It's wrong for all the reasons mentioned! My DGD was nine before she had hers done - her choice to have them done. I think it's dreadful to inflict it on a baby/toddler for hygiene and safety reasons and also for making the decision because it's what the adult wants, not necessarily what the child would wish for.

Perhaps we should start a campaign to make it illegal? I think it is horrific.

I'm with Lona - of course it is child abuse. Piercing holes in any part of a baby's anatomy is simply wrong. I am amazed that jewelers are allowed to do this.

I find it sickening. I would not be able to resist voicing my opinion, in spite of the fact that zipping the lip is my usual view.

Ask my ex-GP OH about all the septic ears he has had to deal with following piercing and his comments would be more colourful than mine have been.

I don't like to see babies with pierced ears, My DG1 had hers done when she was about 3 but I wasn't asked for my opinion. Now she is 23 and has allowed the holes to close up. She doesn't like wearing earrings. My DS1 went and has his done without my permission when he was 15 - he told the piercer that he was 16 and he looked it. He too gave up wearing earrings in his 20s. I was 27 before I got mine pierced, by my junior doctor sister, during a quiet period in A&E, with a hypodermic syringe!

Not wrong , its just WRONG!! A difficult thing to deal with as its dil, I don't envy you but I think I couldn't let it go without saying something .

DGS little Brazilian best friend has her ears pierced, they were done when she was a week old, DD and I were horrified.
It is quite normal there, they come from an extremely wealthy upper class background and were surprised to discover it was not done here.
I have brushed her hair on many occasions and often had to untangle hair from the bck of an earring.
I just cannot approve.

I know this may seem a bit OTT to some, but I think of this as child abuse.

Sadly there is no age limit on piercing but a good friend of mine son's has a tattoo/piercing 'parlour' .

He refuses to pierce a child's ears under the age of 10 as he believes a child can make a constructive choice by that age but would be happy for a legal age to put in place.

It is of course a cultural choice for many groups such as Romany.

Very difficult if your DIL wants to have your GD ears pierced as it must be her right to take that decision and presumably your son is in agreement too? If not he should speak up.

I guess it is yet another 'thing' that has shifted position over the years but I wouldn't want to put my baby through the pain but that's just a personal opinion.

All you can do is express your opinion Van I'm afraid.

Thanks Ana maybe I could say the earring got caught at nursery or something - to be fair have heard of this happening

I wouldn't say that - DIL might see it as a slight on her hygiene standards! (Seriously)

I agree with others that it's so wrong to subject a baby to this. My own GDs begged to have their ears pierced and DD eventually relented, but they are nine and knew what they were letting themselves in for.

Oh thank you so happy to know that it's not just me. Yes all those reasons and yes - harder because it's a DIL. DS seems to be staying out of it. I night try the "oh a friend was saying that her granddaughter got a terrible infection" thing though I fear her mind is set. It's just so unnecessary

Yuk. It's wrong, just wrong. Not least because the child has no say in it. I'd find it very hard not to voice my opinion.

It's one of those "Just state your truth without any expectations" - in other words, just tell them what you think about it, without insisting they don't do it.