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Christmas Spending

(19 Posts)
over60plus Tue 08-Dec-15 11:01:27

We have 2 grandchildren one 26 girl one 23 boy, they are both doing really well in live, my problem is my grandaughter moved into her own place she text me and asked if she could possibly have cash for xmas towards new home, the trouble is we have already purchased presents my husband says return gifts and give the money, I think this is a tad mean surely we should give her something towards her new home we did her brother earlier in the year. We can afford to give the cash but I feel torn between the two.

Ana Tue 08-Dec-15 11:08:33

If you can afford it, then I'd say give her the presents plus some cash towards her new home. It is Christmas, after all! tchgrin

gillybob Tue 08-Dec-15 11:12:33

I agree with Ana it really depends on what you can afford. If you are able I would give the cash (obviously you decide the exact amount) plus the gifts that you have already bought. Might have been very different if you had more DGC.

over60plus Tue 08-Dec-15 11:36:49

Thank you present wrapped for her grateful for your reply, will live with Mr Scooges grumps.

merlotgran Tue 08-Dec-15 11:40:02

Oh, they grump about everything in the run up to Christmas, over60

I never tell DH what I spend on the family. I'm sure he still thinks I slip them a tenner inside a card. tchgrin

over60plus Tue 08-Dec-15 11:58:18

That made me laugh more like a fiver from here, the two days before he will say do you think we have bought enough for everybody little does he know

grannyactivist Tue 08-Dec-15 12:14:26

For many years my husband thought that Christmas just 'happened'. He had no idea of the year round hunt for bargains to be squirreled away or the time it takes to write cards and wrap presents or the thought that goes into each one. One year he made the mistake of saying it couldn't be too hard to get Christmas sorted - so I downed tools and told him he was in charge of the following one!
Oh my, was he sorry! It cost him a fortune as by mid-December he'd done absolutely nothing (in spite of a few gentle reminders) and he begged me to help him out. Since then he has a much better understanding of the time and effort that goes into making Christmas seem like it just 'happens'. smile

Teetime Tue 08-Dec-15 12:15:11

I would slip them a nice housewarming cheque.

numberplease Tue 08-Dec-15 17:24:42

A few years ago, my husband came home from work, saying that he`d bought me a pack of Christmas cards. I said that I`d already bought cards, but he said "Yes, but these have envelopes with them!" He really thought that they came minus envelopes.

morethan2 Tue 08-Dec-15 17:57:33

My husband has just opened my credit card bill that I use for buying stuff on line (I do pay it off completely by standing order every month so there's no debt) he was horrified to see I'd spent £500. I have three children, their wives and 8 grandchildren plus him. I haven't the heart to tell him I'm not finished yet. I will have to cut down when I retire I know that. But is that about average?

Elegran Tue 08-Dec-15 19:04:25

I make that about £33 per person, morethan2 (but more if you are not yet finished) If that seems reasonable to you, then it is reasonable. Everyone has their own spending level.

(Has your husband done the sum? Ask him who does he think you can cut down on and whether he would volunteer for it to be him. Also ask how many presents he has bought and what he spent. He probably has one for you and that's it.)

Deedaa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:51:47

Mine is like yours grannyactivist except that he really wouldn't care if Christmas didn't happen and can't see why on earth I bother to spend time organising it anyway.

morethan2 Tue 08-Dec-15 22:53:19

Thank you Elegranthats made me feel a little better. My husband would never go Christmas shopping if I couldn't do it for some reason everyone would get a £20 note and no card. As for him buying me a present, well that could be a long post. I once got a printer! Another year a guitar game for a d.s ( I didn't have a d.s) an electric knife and yet he can at times surprise me with a piece of nice jewellery, but I suspect that's following a talk from one of my children. ...oh well it'll be a surprise

Wendysue Wed 09-Dec-15 03:46:53

Is it possible that your husband is just upset that GD ASKED for the money as a gift? Maybe he thinks that's rude or that she should have realize you may have already bought presents? If that's it, perhaps you could ask him to give her a little leeway and forgive this since it's Xmas and you did help her brother out, after all.

Either way, I agree, that if you can afford it, it would be best to give her both the gifts you already have and the money.

Have a great Xmas!

janeainsworth Wed 09-Dec-15 07:17:40

I have had a request from SiL via DD for money instead of a gift. (They always get money + gifts to the value of about £30).
I think part of Christmas is the fun of watching everyone open their presents on Christmas morning. It wouldn't seem right to simply transfer the money to their bank account and have nothing to open, so I told DD he could have slightly more money than usual but he still had to have something to open on Christmas Day.
I've got him this Ladybird book

morethan2 Wed 09-Dec-15 07:40:39

Fab..we often buy tongue in cheek presents with a sarcastic edge. Do they do one with. The title '*How to be a half decent daughter in law*' tchwink

janeainsworth Wed 09-Dec-15 07:44:36

grin right I'm off to google that one, morethan, it could be very useful!

janeainsworth Wed 09-Dec-15 07:45:35

Oh just re-read your post blush
Yes indeed!

Nelliemoser Wed 09-Dec-15 07:54:05

Return presents, make a gift of money and a small token gift. Say something fun, or some interesting delicatessen food or such like.