Gransnet forums


Jokes for kids?

(23 Posts)
JessM Sun 31-Jan-16 10:42:51

Any suggestions please for short jokes suitable to text to 7-11 year olds? My DGD is now contactable by text and I thought jokes would be a nice thing to text.
I'll start the ball rolling with this one (heard on TV)
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?
Because the pee is silent.

Nonnie Sun 31-Jan-16 11:24:02

We bought 5 yr old a pack of jokes, like playing cards. He has a great deal of fun with them even though we are pretty sure he doesn't understand all of them. Sorry I can only remember one: What is a pirate's favourite football team? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrsenal.

Imperfect27 Sun 31-Jan-16 11:41:36

Why are pirates scary? They just arrrrrggggghhhhh.

What is a pirate's favourite letter? Well you might be thinking 'r', but it's the 'c' yer see ...

And what do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

(Apologies) smile

jogginggirl Sun 31-Jan-16 11:48:53

Hi JessM

I think if you google 'jokes for kids' you'll find an appropriate collection ...e.g. "Where do fish keep their money?" "In the River Bank" ...winkgrin

Greenfinch Sun 31-Jan-16 12:13:01

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ?

Because he had no body to go with.

annodomini Sun 31-Jan-16 12:19:24

My GSs prefer their jokes on the crude side - don't they all? How do you make a squirrel squeal? Pinch his nuts. (GS1 when he was 8)

JessM Tue 02-Feb-16 08:49:43

Yes anno those would appeal to GS (8) without a doubt.
GD (11) more into clever plays on words e.g. why are there no painkillers in the jungle? Because the parrots eat 'em all. boom boom.
C'mon gransnetters gimme some help here. Recommendations for joke books also welcome.

trisher Tue 02-Feb-16 09:39:55

Just an aside- among my DCs books we found a copy of the Rolf Harris joke book-so inappropriate now. How times change!!!
What do you call a snowman in summer?
A puddle!

Jalima Tue 02-Feb-16 09:54:46

I am hopeless at remembering jokes in full - usually I can remember the punchline but not the beginning, however there are sites with jokes for kids

DGD loved the fish one when she was younger and the one about 'my dog's got no nose; how does he smell? Awful!'
What bees make milk? - Boobees!
Why did the sky cry? Because the sea weed

These still amuse the 4 year old but the older one may have more sophisticated tastes now, I must try to remember these:

felice Tue 02-Feb-16 13:28:37

How do you catch a Squirrel,
climb up a tree and act like a nut,,,, boom boom.

FarNorth Tue 02-Feb-16 13:31:42

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

Still makes me laugh, anyway grin

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 02-Feb-16 14:13:03

What do you call a girl halfway up a tennis court?


What do you call a girl with a radiator on her head?

Anita (works best if you are a northerner!)

JessM Tue 02-Feb-16 16:55:57

Like the tennis court one Cari. I fear the second would not mean a lot in Australia... radiators? what are they? smile
She really liked the fact that the first officially named storm was called Abigail though. smile

Jalima Tue 02-Feb-16 19:17:32

She really liked the fact that the first officially named storm was called Abigail though.
I didn't tell DD as I thought SIL would never let her forget it JessM grin

JessM Tue 02-Feb-16 22:08:34

can't guess what's she's called then. smile

mrsmopp Wed 03-Feb-16 21:06:39

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Jalima Wed 03-Feb-16 22:39:41

and she is not at all stormy

JessM Thu 04-Feb-16 07:06:15

nice one mrsmopp

johnmiller Fri 15-Apr-16 13:39:56

This is the best forum post.

BBbevan Fri 15-Apr-16 14:07:32

My grandaughter' favourite ' joke' when she was about 4, was
" What's brown and sticky?"
Answer : A stick
She would fall about laughing each time ( numerous) she asked it

tiggypiro Fri 15-Apr-16 18:10:44

How can you tell which end of a worm is his mouth ?
Tickle his tummy and see which end laughs

Marmark1 Fri 15-Apr-16 19:07:56

What do you call a one eyed Dinasour? Dyathinkesourus,

Indinana Fri 15-Apr-16 19:40:17

The very first joke I ever heard and 'got' was 'A man had just been released from prison and was running about shouting for joy "I'm free, I'm free!!!" A little boy walking past said "So what? I'm four" ' [groan emoticon]