Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Adopt some granparents

(15 Posts)
Nelliemoser Sat 17-Sep-16 11:58:07

As others say this is really difficult. You can never know who you are getting. You might be able to do a www.gov.uk/disclosure-barring check but that does not necessarily mean they are a suitable person.
It might just mean they have have never come to anyones attention as suspicious. No child abuser or con man has that tatooed on his head.
You would really need to build a good relationship of trust with the people before you did anything like this.
There are people about who target vulnerable parents to exploit.

Elegran Sat 17-Sep-16 11:27:07

These pleas are often posted on Gransnet, and my response to them is always the same - Why do you think that all those working (paid or unpaid) with young children and vulnerable or elderly adults are required to have DBS and Police checks? It is so that anyone with any dubious past record can be weeded out.

You may say, "Biological familes are not checked!" But members of biological families haven't answered ads from strangers wanting a granny substitute. Gransnet is not a closed group. Anyone in the whole world can read what is posted on here, and there are scammers and paedophiles who do just that - scan the internet for children who might be unguarded or lonely elderly people who might be open to cultivation as "friends" and then exploited or separated from their savings.

There are established agencies that link granny-less families with older people, but they don't operate by open advertisements and invitations. You have to join, be assessed and investigated and introduced with safeguards to compatible people. Please find one of these, check their credentials and be safe - both from being exploited and from suspicions that you could be exploiting.

DaphneBroon Sat 17-Sep-16 11:02:29

I get so uneasy about threads like this and the apparently blithe trust in total strangers and people's babies and children.
Sad to be so cynical, but not everybody who reads GN is a sweet grey haired granny substitute (?) or indeed a sweet and innocent young mum who has no parents, but seriously, this idea of "adopting a granny" seems wrong on so many levels and open to abuse on both sides.
I find myself wondering what some "advertisers" are offering to give to this relationship too, or is it a cheap babysitter they are after? There is a reason why anybody working with little ones -or indeed the elderly- is subject to strict checks.
Not something to be sorted over tea and a chat hmm

fiorentina51 Sat 17-Sep-16 10:35:02

Funny, there are three threads all on the same topic. ?

FarNorth Sat 17-Sep-16 08:50:10

nannymagic, it would have been nice of you to say something directly to pymypymy, rather than expect her to find your latest post.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL, anyone thinking of getting involved in this way.

nannymagic Sat 17-Sep-16 08:36:57

pymypymy....it would be lovely to chat..perhaps you could read my latest post..nannymagic

Cindy1975 Thu 28-Apr-16 12:15:05

Wanted – Grandparents/Granny/Grandma/Mum

I am currently pregnant with my first child and I am looking for some grandparent(s) for it. Sadly both myself and my partner don’t have our parents in our lives and knowing how close I am with my grandparents it makes me sad to think my little one will not have this special relationship.

I am looking for someone I suppose also to be a little bit of a mum to me, I am obviously grown up now and a very independent person but I am finding that the older I get the more I want a parent(s)! I’ve got married with no parents which was really difficult and I have hit all of the milestones but I feel I could really use some support with the next big step! Nothing more than advice, a coffee now and then and some positivity and encouragement – what mums do I suppose!! I am still close to my grandparents but sadly they are not in the best of health and getting older. I am a big support to them but I don’t like to ask anything of them.

Hopefully this surrogate parent(s) would then become a grandparent to my child, again just being there for support/advice and perhaps the odd day out – picnics, crafts, baking etc – again what grandparents do!!

Age is irrelevant but someone fit, healthy, positive and caring.

I live in Chipping Sodbury in Bristol.

ninathenana Sun 03-Apr-16 07:29:30

I think the OP was just badly worded. As tanith implies the grand parents of a 51 y.o. would be in their 90's. I'm assuming mousez is offering her self as a substitute grand parent ??
confusedconfused

Supermom Sat 02-Apr-16 20:16:42

I AM A MOTHER TO 2 GROWN UP KIDS 39 and 34 who don't have children but I would love to be a grandma. IS there a family in the Birmingham area who might want to adopt me as a nan. I HAVE MY CAR AND AM FIT AND HEALTHY FOR MY 62 YEARS.Please get in touch if you think you can help thanks

Jalima Wed 09-Mar-16 19:48:29

hmm

tanith Wed 09-Mar-16 18:50:34

Forgive me if I'm being insensitive and I'm sorry you've lost and miss your grandparents , but there can't be many people of your age who still have their grandparents alive. Its the cycle of life to lose our older relatives , if you were asking for a young child I'd understand your request a bit more it just seems odd to want to adopt a grandparent as an adult of 51yrs.

pymypymy Wed 09-Mar-16 18:32:27

I have a three yr old, I lost my parents to cancer, and so has my husband. I have no family left and am desperate for my daughter to have the love of a grandparent. I never had grandparents but there is so much love in my house . I was hoping someone could help . Thank yousmile

LullyDully Fri 19-Feb-16 08:19:12

There was a thread on this very recently....May be worth checking back.

tiredoldwoman Fri 19-Feb-16 06:28:34

What a good idea , I've never heard of a scheme like this but it would be mutually beneficial . I loved the film 'UP' when lonely old Carl met lonely young Russell and their lives blossomed . It's a film , yes, but it could work , I'm sure ?
Not sure , Mousez, if you want to be the Granny or find a Granny , either way what a good idea !

mousez Fri 19-Feb-16 03:37:40

Hello im Mandy and i wonder if any one knows of a service in the birmingham area that might have the above mentioned service
i have lost my Grandparents and i miss them a lot ,, we could also email or send letters if that would be possible i understand if not though
Im 51 years old ,, i have four grown up children and not in the best of health my self
Thank you for your time in reading this