I think your first sentence is rather telling and not in a good way, I'm afraid.
Obviously, I don't know anything about your situation but you come across as if you're in competition with the DGD's mother for their affection.
That is NEVER a good idea.
It's not remotely surprising that your DS supports his wife in this.
You are only the grandparent and not the parent and if I were you, I'd back off completely and wait to be invited back into their lives.
I'm a grandparent to a lovely little boy but I rarely see him in person as we live a long distance away. DiL parents very differently to me but I respect her ways 100% when they visit us and I let her get on with it.
It sounds like you need to find other distractions to occupy you so that you don't dwell too much on this and learn to accept that your role is to be supportive of both parents in bringing up THEIR children.
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