Update on hospital Situation

I think if anyone has a mental problem it may be your son, but at the moment you and your husband are the priority.

So sorry to hear of your problems over 60 plus, you have done the right thing so far, your son is an adult now and should be considerate of his father's illness and your stress levels. It does seem to an outsider that perhaps there are underlying causes for his behavior and once things have settled down you may discover them. In the meantime concentrate on helping your husband recover and taking care of yourself too.

Your DS is being manipulative, not you. He needs to grow up and think more about what makes your DH happy - seeing his GS and also you. As for his comment regards "playing the sympathy card" when you asked him to show some consideration for his father ... he's demonstrated how out of touch with reality he is. You've tried your best to deal with this difficult situation caused directly by your DS unreasonable and childish behaviour. Don't doubt your own sanity over60plus. I think you are right to tell him not to come around or contact you or your DH until he can behave in a civil manner. You have enough to cope with running your home and looking after your DH whilst he recuperates and yourself. If there things that he is worried about they don't excuse his behaviour and if your DS wants some advice or support then he has to grow up and discuss them. He is very unreasonable in trying to control who you and your DH see and talk too including your GS. Try and ignore him and blocking his number for now is a good idea in my opinion.

Thanks for your replies, update husband on the mend much better, our son not so good he came home yesterday thought to see how his dad was mistaken he came once again to fall out with me, he as me now doubting my own sanity really tried talking to him calmly yesterday he laughed in my face and said I was a very manipulative clever woman,his Dad does everything I said,over the last few years I have managed household budget looked after most not a problem I may add my DH not well enough to cope with this at moment we always sit and discuss what is what .
Our son language was appalling so his Dad said please don't swear in this house you have not been bought up with this standard of behavior.
I said can you please have a bit of consideration for your Dad he is unwell to which he replied there you go again playing the sympathy card, I am now doubting my own sanity surely I am not evil all I want is a peaceful life, to end the day our son due to marry in October his parting shot suppose you will now not be coming to Wedding.
I asked him to leave and come back when he could sit down and talk sensible and civil. I also asked if he was worried about anything other than his Dad to which he replied YOU wouldn't care, we never used to be like this.

Sometimes "a woman has to do what a woman has to do" - you did it - well done! Concentrate now on your OH and take care of yourself as well.

Absolutely right over60plus the important people here are you and your husband. It's lovely that your GS is making a special effort to see his grandfather and I'm so glad that your husband is getting better, but your son's ego is his own problem. He's 45 going on four and a half and needs to do some growing up!

Well done , It does seem that your son is jealous of the relationship between his son and Father . Maybe when things have calmed down you could talk to him about this . It would be better all round if things were in the open. For now you have to concentrate on your Husband and you will just have to let him Stew.

Yes, you absolutely did the right thing, because at 45 your son should know better than to cause such stress to you and your DH while your DH is ill in hospital. But of course you were upset by the confrontation, I understand that. You will feel better about it as time passes. Just concentrate on your DH - he's your priority now. My best wishes for his recovery and for peace to descend on your family

If his own needs and feelings come before his concern and welfare of his father ,you did absolutely the right thing. Stop stressing and put your priorities,which are you and your H firmly where they belong ,in first place.

Family fall-outs at an already stressful time are particularly hard to deal with, but I think the action you took was both timely and appropriate. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this on top of your husband's poor health and hope that the dust settles soon.

Yes you have done the right thing - how rude and uncaring of him. I hope your DH makes a good recovery and you get some peace from all this stress.

PS All the best for your husband's recovery

I think you have done the right thing, over60. Your sone needs to know that having tantrums about stuff he doesn't like will not solve anything, and also that his problem with his son is nothing to do with you. He's being a control freak. You are right not to allow him to exert control over you in this way.

Well done over60plus. It sounds about time he was told these home truths.I understand why you didn't sleep very well - none of us like arguments in the family and I'm sure he will sulk for a few days, but I hope he will start to see sense. As you say, your first priority is your husband's health and well-being. All the best to you both