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Grandparenting

Grandparents rights?

(7 Posts)
Queenjulian Sat 11-Jun-16 11:25:14

We've been stopped from seeing our grandchild (3). I've read some information online but all of it seems to be aimed at a family breakdown/divorce and your dil/sil stopping you from seeing your grandchild.
I was wondering what chance we have seeing as our own child is stopping us from seeing his child?
There's been no recent major argument, things have been strained for some time, since our grandchild was born really but we've been allowed lone access a fair bit in the past, sometimes even overnight.
Now they avoid us seeing our grandchild at all costs and ignore us.
In the past when we have had fall outs they've banned us from seeing their child and it's happened again.
Talking to them is pointless and gets us nowhere and I'm unsure where to go now.

RedheadedMommy Sat 11-Jun-16 11:59:18

Grandparents have no rights over grandchildren. You can go to court for access if you can prove that you have been a consistent role in their life.
They care more about the child's rights than the grandparents so if you have been a positive influence then you stand a chance, it's a slim chance but there is one.

But they also listen to the parents and the reasons given. I've read a few a posts from ladies who have gone through court and regretted it as it hasn't gone the way they wished it to and made the relationshipsame between their adult children more strained.

Rhinestone Sat 11-Jun-16 13:20:10

Read today's article on the first page here . It's all about that

Caren01 Sat 11-Jun-16 16:42:24

Have you come out and asked what problem is?

Yogagirl Tue 21-Jun-16 09:15:42

QueenJulian

So sorry you have been cut out of your GC life, me too, 3.5yrs now and like you, I did nothing to deserve it, quite the contrary, I was very good to them both. Cut out by my s.i.l & hate to say, my [brainwashed] D. They live just 5mins down the road. I had a very special bond with my precious GD, as my D&GD lived with me before nasty s.i.l came along. I chose my GD name with my D, [father not in the picture] she was then named after me, my first & second names are GD's middle and last, but nasty s.i.l [GD stepdad} took away her name! and re-named her after his GM, no relation to my GD.

I had no problem with him, but he and his mother were jealous of my strong & special bond with my D&GD, so I was cut out along with everyone else in my D birth family! I went to court, bad decision, made it all a thousand times worse! I didn't win. So I wouldn't advise that road.

Myself and others in the same sad boat are on a thread in 'relationships; Support for GP cut out...' It's been going for years, I've been on for over 3years now. You should go on and get the support and advise there.

How long is it that you last saw your GC? You don't have to have done anything to be cut out, it is usually down to jealousy of your AC spouse. [adult child]

God Bless flowers

Smileless2012 Sun 26-Jun-16 17:07:20

It's a minefield QueenJulian and highly unlikely to be successful. We did look in to it but decided against.

The first step having found a legal representative is to see if both parties are prepared to go to mediation. If the relationship is potentially volatile, mediation can take place with both parties in separate rooms. If one party wont agree to mediation or agreement can't be found, then the matter would go to court.

Even if you are successful in being granted contact, if the parents refuse to comply, you'd have to go back to court. You could lose contact if the parents claim that the visits are detrimental to the child and/or the family.

I am truly sorry for your plight. Yogagirl and I are regular posters on the thread in 'Relationships' that she mentioned. We haven't seen our eldest GC since he was 8 months old, he's now 4.5. We got our first real sighting of the youngest aged 8 months just over a week ago.

They live just 300 yards down the road. We are moving at the end of the month, leaving our home of 28 years and the village we've lived in for 30 because we just can't stand it any more.

You say you are now unsure where to go now, I have no advice to give, I can only tell you what we've done in order to cope with the pain of this estrangement.

Take each day as it comes. The pain never goes away but it does lessen with time. Try to think about and focus on what you have and not on what you've lost. You say that this is not the first time they've stopped you seeing your GC if you've had a falling out. There's no doubt they are using their child as a weapon and when our adult children are prepared to use their own in this way, there's really nothing we can do.

I'm so sorryflowers.

SwimwithFish Sun 26-Jun-16 19:27:06

I'm sorry to hear of the family breakdown (& thought I'd offer my opinion from the other side- if it's not welcome please let me know)... Can I ask what your previous falling outs were about?
My advice would be sort out the relationship (try to think back what they have said, what you have said) with the parents first and foremost and not go around them for access.
I know that if my parents or anyone took me to court for custody that would make things worse!