Daughter in law leaving

Eileen don't take it that way she has to make stuff up to validate what's she is doinG
she has moved on and so needs to forget her English family and concentrate on what she has found now the children belong with their dad with your support, thankfully she is obviously willing to sign them over to sole custody so her new life is more important to her than what she has in France, so be it, she has made her decision, now she has to live with it ?......When does she go ?

Sorry here again. Blue belle you are right in what you have said. I and her husband asked and asked her to see a councillor, she has issues about her own mother and father. I have been her mom for 8 years and really loved her and took care of her. She was speaking to the boyfriend while her husband and children in the house for hours and then said she doesn't want her husband to move on. She firstly is a MOM and that's that their needs come before anything, she should wait till they are old enough to make their own way in life it's all against what a mom would do, l would die for mine and would have my daughter in law too. I have always said if at all ever they split up I would still support her, and I would. Now it seems I am the bad guy.

'The Assumption' is a religious holiday. There are quite a number of 'religious holidays' in France. If I can remember rightly, May is virtually one religious holiday after another!!

Thank you bluebell for your post. Yes I shudder to the core when I think of the girls in Thailand. You see now if say she says I'm not going or comes back when she realize, we could never trust her we would be worried. And if she can do this she is not fit and worthy of our beautiful girls. We can teach them our ways and morals and protect them. Have a nice day, blue belle.

We don't know the details for sure, but no one even in the most homesick unhappy situation walks away from their children so I think we can judge her on her actions I would live through utter hell to stay with my kids so sorry but I don't agree at all with those that are now giving her depression and homesickness There is nothing in the original post to suggest she was unhappy or badly treated over here indeed her mum in law said she had loved her for 8 years which doesn't sound bad to me .... Maybe she was homesick I ve lived in a foreign country with small children and no family or even in law family ...it's the life you have chosen so you make the most of it and get on with getting on
If she has fallen out of love with her husband and life here and if the old life and loves are beckoning then she has a serious decision to make whether her own life/ happiness or her children and husband here are most important, she has been offered counselling which she didn't want, so it sounds as if she has fully made up her mind to move on
I totally agree the children should be told the truth in the kindest way possible it will be very upsetting for them at first but children are resilient if they have stability and love in bucket loads I not sure about the skyping etc I would think that would be most unsettling although you can't just wipe her out their lives so a difficult one to make a call on

I suspect she has been homesick and unhappy for a long time. Possibly depressed also. I feel sorry for everyone concerned, including her and I agree with MargaretX about telling the kids the truth, especially if she was homesick and unhappy.

Even if they don't understand straight away, they will eventually. It's not about them; they have done nothing wrong, and I don't think we should be too quick to apportion blame to the mother. We don't know the details so we shouldn't judge.

It eeems to me she was very homesick and has now fallen in love. It might not last and who is to say her daughters would not like her back if she gets over it.

From a child's point of view they have to be told the truth and straight away. Not some other story and then the truth.
They will get over it if you and your son don't keep on about it. Take the cue from them. When they don't talk about it or stop crying for their mother then let them forget her.
You can only do the best you can,its going to be hard work.
You may need help in the house.

holiday and she said she didn't know.
They were just open for the morning.
Sorry about the split post, I pressed 'post' by mistake.

That's what I thought,*Jalima*. One year I was in Carrefour on that day and sked the manageress why they were having a bank

Assumption, no-one knows what that means!
yes, some of us do
Odd, really, that France claims to be secular but still retains these public holidays!

I don't understand how she can walk out on the children either and yet it happens every day with men walking away from their kids

It will be far better than if she took them with her,you and your son will manage fine and after months the girls will stop asking for their mum they have each other a great dad and loving grandparents they have stability, school, home life, friends I would certainly be very very careful if she ever comes back to visit make it quite clear to her that once she's gone she's gone, no custody or even visitation rights and I would get the solicitor to make it all legal

Swimwith fish. I think we all need councilling, I fear the time ahead. Thank you for your post.

Hi deed a, I don't see how she thinks face time and phone calls would suffice. They would say when you coming home mommy. We don't want that.

I'm very sorry you have had this terrible shock Eileen and I can understand how devastated you must feel.

On a more positive note, however, it is in some ways fortunate that your daughter in law will be leaving the children with their dad. Maybe it's because she knows it will be safer and better for them to stay in a place and with people they know rather than to find themselves in a very different country and culture.

I hope she does maintain some sort of regular contact with the children - otherwise they may wonder if they have done something wrong which has caused their mum to leave.

Hi biddysue, thank you for your support. I hope we can too. Fortunately the girls are very much nanny and gar and titi my daughter who is like a second mom. It's hit her hard too. X

Thanks for that jalima

Ana, no probs

Charleygirl. Exactly. She says she will face time them and come and see them and daddy can take them once a year to see her. I have begged her to think hard and get theropy to sort her head out. But then the family in Thailand say I couldn't have cared for her because I wouldn't shout and say these things. Someone even said could you just bring one child then. Can you imagine what my son said.

Hi Maggie Jane, how heartbreaking for them. I think we will have to get help where what to tell the girls is concerned. I don't want us to get in a bad situation by telling a story to save the pain for them.
You have given me something to think about thank you. X

You got it Ana we live in France.

Monica your post was very helpful, thank you x

I know about the Assumption

No, today hasn't been a Bank Holiday here. Though Monday 15th was ( Assumption, no-one knows what that means!)

Ah, yes - missed that, I thought the couple had met in France. Sorry!

Perhaps it's not a Bank Holiday in France, Eileen says they all moved there in 2004 I think.