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Any experience/advice for dealing with a wilful, rude 6 year old?

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BlueBelle Wed 19-Oct-16 09:58:50

Can't see what ' Gypsy blood ' has to do with it sounds quite an unfortunate turn of phrase and if the child has heard things like that not good at all ......obviously the mums stress is rubbing off on the little girl who I feel sorry for, she sounds as if she's in the middle of two totally different ways of parenting her mum has had a more liberal approach probably through limited time and energy , whilst you are sounding more traditional and trying to do it as you did 20 or 30 years ago. Why don't you sit down and talk to your daughter and make a plan of how you will both deal with certain situations in a similar manner. children are different today, schools and teaching is different , I don't think you can do it exactly as you did before, it just doesn't work I have found that out from my own grandchildren who are much less compliant and more confident than their parents were there isn't the same be seen and not heard type of management they do speak out they are taught to have a voice and rights to opinions from a very young age now
As your daughter has a back up plan which is being used now why can't you have a week in Portugal it might ease the stess for you all

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Luckygirl Wed 19-Oct-16 09:56:54

It sounds as though in some ways it is a good thing that an alternative arrangement has been found - at the very least it gives you a break and changes your role in relation to your DGD and indeed your DD. You can be a grandma rather than a substitute Mum.

It will do her no harm and may do some good for her to be part of the breakfast club.

So.....it is not all negative - the change may be useful to you both.

I am sure that your DD will be asking you to care for your DGD at times, but perhaps not this regular commitment. If I were you I would hop off to Portugal while you have the chance! smile

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Singlegrannie Wed 19-Oct-16 09:55:09

It sounds as though DD is trying to take the pressure off you , it does appear that you need a break.

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mazza245 Wed 19-Oct-16 09:32:08

Hi, I'll try and keep this short but it's a long story. DD had a baby with useless dad who is not interested at all, asked if we would help and support but I never thought beyond going to school, didn't think we would still be so hands on at 6! GD is gorgeous but very wilful (gypsy blood from her father's side DD reckons) and has become very difficult to deal with sometimes. We've always done a lot, washing and ironing, most meals, etc. They even lived with us for nearly three years. Now moved a mile away but the house is still in a mess, can't afford to finish yet. DD works 20/30 miles away as a headmistress, a recent move (previous job was further away!) which is very very stressful and long hours so can't manage without us.

DD drops her off each morning to be fed, dressed and taken to school and we pick her up each afternoon and they eat with us more often than not. The house is not finished, she's just had a cooker installed but she gets home so tired and late, they eat rubbish if not our meals. It isn't what we envisaged for our retirement, we have an apartment in Portugal that we'd like to go to more often but our breaks are dictated by school.

The trouble is this child. I love her to bits but even her mum says she's hard work. It seems to be me mostly she has a problem with. I try and deal with her as I did my children but it just doesn't work! She disobeys, argues, won't be told. I do all the positive stuff, of course, but she bristles in my company. DD says I'm not the mum, I should let her get away with a lot and just not say anything but it's so difficult. It's now reached the point where DD hasn't come anywhere near for a couple of days, taking her to a teacher's house before breakfast club and asking an acquaintance to pick her up (there isn't anyone else long term). I can't stop crying because I think this is driving a wedge between me and DD, who is so stressed and making it worse for our relationship with GD. I'm at a loss to know what to do. Any experiences or advice please?

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