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(9 Posts)
Jo1965 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:58:48

I look after my two year old grandson every week and we go to a local toddler group which he really enjoys.
He is a very sociable little boy and enjoys playing with the other children. He is also very good at sharing with the other children.
I find it very hard when the others do not share and often snatch toys from him, he never retaliates and the other parents never remonstrate with their children!!
I really don't know how to handle it.
Any suggestions?

vampirequeen Wed 16-Nov-16 19:25:36

Talk to the staff/leaders of the toddler group. Sharing is a learned skill and some of these children haven't yet developed it.

Unfortunately these days a lot of parents don't seem to say no to their children. I know someone who always lets her child hit people and throw things. He's now 18 months and is quite violent. The other day he hit his older brother with a game controller then threw it down some steps and broke it. He is never stopped so thinks this is acceptable behaviour especially as many a time they laugh at his antics. I've tried pointing out to her that this behaviour will not only continue but will get worse as he gets older and hurt his brother and other people more as he gets stronger. She replied that he was too young to know right from wrong and anyway he was being 'cute'.

Whilst I admit he's too young to know right from wrong he's not too young to learn what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. DH was playing with him and he picked up a brick to throw. DH took the brick off him and said 'No'. They then played together again but each time the child picked up a brick to throw DH wouldn't play. He only had to do it twice and the child didn't throw any bricks the whole time they were playing. As we were leaving he picked up a brick and threw it at his sister. He knew exactly who he could throw bricks at and who he couldn't. Needless to say the mother laughed.

Izabella Wed 16-Nov-16 19:50:52

Not exactly a valid response, but my OH informed me recently that I did not know how to share, or did it badly if I did. I was extremely hurst and upset. But you know what, I think he is probably right. I never had to do this as a child and was a Carer myself from a very young age. Not quite sure where I'm going with this now I started .........

Marmark1 Thu 17-Nov-16 10:47:55

it's a parents duty to teach their child acceptable behaviour,if not the poor kid grows up never knowing what's expected and never fitting in.Another candidate for therapy

sweetheartnana Thu 17-Nov-16 21:40:39

Children of 2 are too young to understand the concept of sharing, their brains are developing at an alarming rate but usually this doesn't click in until they are around 3. That doesn't mean that they can't be encouraged to be kind and polite from an early age. I'm afraid most behaviour is learnt by copying those around them, be that negative or positive. I have seen the awful results in teens of parents laughing at their "cute" toddlers bad behaviour that isn't quite so cue from a 15year old

SewAddict Fri 18-Nov-16 10:01:17

Just because they are too young to understand the concept doesn't mean you should not start teaching them right from wrong. The sooner you start the sooner they will learn what is not acceptable.
Parents who just laugh and think it's 'cute' are in for a very difficult time later on. Children behave according to what is expected of them on the whole.

goldengirl Fri 18-Nov-16 15:25:57

Hear! Hear! SewAddict. My youngest GC is 17m old and I'm pleased to say that his mum and dad are quite strict with him re manners including sharing. It's paid off with his siblings and they're all lovely children you could take anywhere - though obviously they have their moments; none of us is perfect!

MummyBtothree Mon 28-Nov-16 03:04:15

My boys are 15, 13 and 4 and have brought them all up the same. We have people comment on their manners and the fact that we teach them what is right and wrong, if they are too young to properly understand then its up to us to show them. However else are they meant to learn. I've also found it quite common for mothers at toddler groups etc to laugh things off and find it cute or entertaining. I even had one mother astonished at her son hitting my boy on the head with a rubber hammer and he didn't stop him or push him away bless him even though he wasn't very happy. She interpreted that as her two year old taking after his father and being a 'chip off the old block' being a 'cheeky chappie'. I was lost for words and made a point of praising my boy for not retaliating and how we don't hurt other people. I never fail to be suprised sometimes how different people can be brought up.

NanaandGrampy Mon 28-Nov-16 12:15:40

My little grandson was horrified by a new little classmate ( reception year) who not only bites when angry but slapped him round the face for getting in his way and then promptly wee'd up the wall in the classroom.

My daughter was informed of the slapping incident only to be told that this particular little boy ( a recent arrival in this country) now has an assigned assistant for playtime and lunchtime to try to control his violent behaviour towards others.

His mother saw no real issue when told about her sons behaviour.

Worlds gone to hell in a handbasket sad