Advice changes all the time, but that's how science moves, by little jumps and starts, and previous received wisdom is shown to be at fault. I think that there's a number of reasons why honey is no longer recommended. Bags has given one very cogent one. Here's another: the sugar in honey is fructose, which is poorly absorbed and can hence cause diarrhoea. It's pretty bad for folks like me with IBS. Just relax: you're not thick, you just hadn't heard of this recent bit of advice. However, I do think grandparents should accept parents' wishes to follow current thinking, even if they don't understand why. I'm sure we made similar demands of our own parents when they babysat our children. The only time I fell out with my mum was when I discovered she'd been giving the girls bite-sized Mars bars when I had a 'No sweets except on Saturday' policy. She was upset, but acknowledged that I had the right to say what the children should eat, just as she had stopped my grandmother from giving me boiled sweets when I was an infant. Enjoy your grandchildren and go with the flow. I bet DIL is glad of your help and support.