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Grandparenting

Gran to grandsons?!

(17 Posts)
hapgran Mon 06-Feb-17 15:18:37

My sixth grandson was born last week - the oldest is 6. I had 2 DSs and 1 DD - so the grandsons are spread over 3 families, each family living about 2 hours away. I visit them often and we all get together several times a year. My question is this, bearing in mind all children are different and it's wrong to generalise too much, can other grans tell me about their relationship with older grandsons? My fear is that I will find it harder to have things in common with a grandson than I would have had with a grandaughter.

tanith Mon 06-Feb-17 16:04:28

My eldest is 27 we are close and he rings us every week to see how things are and visits quite often work allowing and invites us round for lunch with him and his lovely wife every so often. I have 4 other grandsons ranging in age from 3 to 26 and some are closer than others the youngest lives abroad so we don't have the same close relationship as the others. I've found over the years that they tend to be less close during teenage early 20 years but then when they settle down tend to become close again with more contact.

We also have 3 granddaughters and I see no difference in our relationships from the boys, one I am particularly close to because she lives nearby but the others were the same, distant in teens and then close again when settled down.

Just enjoy them all and remember each one will be different in how they interact with you.

Cherrytree59 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:12:56

Love, encourage and take an interest
Listen to what they have got to say
Keep up to date with fashion, sport and music
This would apply to both GS & GD
And always remember that a way to
a boys/ mans heart is to keep the cake tin full grin

cornergran Mon 06-Feb-17 16:24:47

If we generalise I think there can be considerable care from older grandsons. Just wait and see? A good relationship now bodes well for the future. Don't worry too much.

kittylester Mon 06-Feb-17 16:29:55

I have 4 granddaughters and 2 grandsons. I love the boy type banter with my eldest DGS (almost10 and his friends) and I think they are impressed that I have a bit of a grasp football (no choice in this house!) Having said that, I get on with the girls in a different way but they are still young.

nanaK54 Mon 06-Feb-17 16:38:21

Oh I love my grandson - he is 18 now and we are still very close
I obviously love my granddaughters too!

glammanana Mon 06-Feb-17 16:44:59

I have 5 strapping Grandsons 13yrs - 26yrs all brothers and 2 Grand daughters one of whom is sister to the boys she is 15 my eldest Grand daughter is 18 and an only child she is my sons daughter from his first relationship but I see her often and we have a lovely relationship a very caring girl who we love dearly,the boys are all very thoughtful to us and their mother always keeping in touch and asking about each other as well as the rest of the family,enjoy them and the good times you are sure to have with them,the girls have always tended to be girly girls and enjoy time with nanna & their mums.

petra Mon 06-Feb-17 16:51:43

The way to my grandsons heart is through my purse grin

annodomini Mon 06-Feb-17 17:35:10

Three GSs (9 - 12) in two different families. They are all completely different; so it's quite difficult to keep up with their interests, apart from the fact that two are scouts and one still a cub. I live too far from them to play a big part in their lives, but manage to see them every month or so and I am going on holiday with one of the families this summer.

Greyduster Mon 06-Feb-17 18:45:43

I only have one - he hits double figures this weekend. We see him regularly. He is very loving, and a football fanatic like his dad and grandad so that is where our interests part company, but I do try and take an interest in other things he does. He is going to teach me how to do Minecraft hmm! I adore him and I like his friends, but then I like boys full stop. I hope I will be around long enough to see him grow into a young man. My son has two adult stepsons. They are lovely young men and although we don't see them very often now, we have a good relaxed relationship. They are great fun to talk to.

trisher Mon 06-Feb-17 20:55:11

My older GS is 14 and adorable. He is like most boys, ask him a question and you'll get just a nod and perhaps a grunt. Leave him alone, give him a snack and a drink and he will eventually tell you things. He likes hugs and is very affectionate. I have the opposite problem. I know about boys because I have 3 sons but not sure about my GD and how our relationship will develop, she is very sweet, but very strong willed.

Deedaa Mon 06-Feb-17 22:23:40

My oldest GS is 10. So far we have always had a lot of interests in common and I am hoping this will continue. He sometimes has problems at school because of his ASD and I think he likes to have an adult on his side.

Marnie Thu 09-Feb-17 11:23:30

I have 2GS one born week ago and the likelihood of seeing new babe is distant. Last saw two year old when he was one. S and dil don't like me smoking. gave up for almost nine months but they still did not visit so started again. Other smokers are allowed near child/children so have no reason why not us.Very painful but can't do anything about it.

harrigran Thu 09-Feb-17 11:29:44

Such a shame Marnie to give up smoking for 9 months and then start again.

mcem Thu 09-Feb-17 11:38:18

You know you can give up so this time just stick with it. It may help with the visiting problem but even if it doesn't you'll benefit from doing it!

Welshwife Thu 09-Feb-17 12:17:06

I have three grandsons - 2 live in USA so I do not see them very often but we get on fine when we are together - they are 11 and 16. The other one is 26 and I am very close to him and his 24 year old sister. When I am back in UK I meet him after work a couple of times at least and we have dinner together and have a private catch up. I. These sessions he tells me things I know he would not talk about if others were there. It works well as DH takes me to the rendez-vous and DGS takes me home. DGD And I have do girls outings which usually include lunch and she is the best personal shopper I know!
I just love all mine to bits and would not be without any of them - the ones in the UK I saw very frequently when they were small and they spent many happy holidays with us on their own - one parent bringing them and either both or the other one coming to stay a few days and collecting them. Gave them both a love of France and they come to visit now we are here full time. Solved all holiday childcare!

Starlady Thu 09-Feb-17 12:37:22

Stay aware of their interests and learn about them if you don't know much. Older kids have less time for gps, in general, but you can still stay connected.

Marnie, how sad! Perhaps they were worried about lingering smoke in house? Perhaps try quitting again, then ask to get together outside of your home, like at an amusement park? See what happens...