Am i a bad grandad

No, you are a good grandad. Cut back on your babysitting hours, you deserve a calm retirement.

I think you are an exceptional Grandad, I really do. I am sure you would be happy to help out in am emergency or much more occasionally but to be expected to do all this regularly is really very inconsiderate. The two of us look after a three year old for one day most weeks, but if we arrange a social occasion on that day we are very clear that it is a week off. Perhaps you can have an amicable chat with the parents and say that it really is too much and too tying to take this on regularly but happy to do the occasional stint.

Bbface Do you even babysit for a grandchild? I think you are here to make trouble. I read your other post where you told someone to " suck it up." What are you contributing here besides meaness.

Bbface*What do you mean by me calling my GC the infant that it says it all? I didn't want to use their name.

You are certainly not a bad Grandfather, it is different visiting GC or minding them for a short time, but not on a permanent basis, when my GC were younger I hepled out in emergencies, did not want to be minding them/collecting them from Schol on definate days a week, Grandparents shouldnt be made to feel guilty when they dont want to be a carer again, we have done our bit!

Some refreshing and honest comments here. Feeling a little less guilty myself. Love them to bits but totally different thing being "in charge by yourself with only one pair of hands" or a Nannie/grandad with parents around. Can In some instances tarnish the relationship.

Thank goodness it is something that won't be asked of us. Our daughter in law is expecting our 2nd grandchild; hers and our eldest son, first child.

Though we are in our 50's neither of us are in good health so we won't be part of being asked to help out when she goes back to work.

Generally babysitting occasionally is fine. The way I am now no way.

Our eldest Grandson doesn't live locally so it isn't an equation for us to have him. He comes to us in holidays for a few days so he can also spend time with his Dad (our 2nd son) has his Mom and our 2nd split up.

Most certainly you aren't a bad Grandpa. It is not your job to bring up your Grandchildren. I know how hard it is today and often Mom must return to work to make ends meet, however childcare can be paid for through working tax credit depending on what you earn. If you have to pay for childcare it means your earnings can be higher and you can still get tax credits for child care.

When my kids arrived my mother used to say "I don't really 'do'babies. I like them when they are about seven upwards." But then she died when they were all under six. So she missed out completely (and so did they). It would have been better if she had seized the chance while she had it.

Not the worst but not the best either

Rise up grandparents! We all went without so that we could be with our children we didn't expect our parents to childmind.

No you definitely are not a bad grandad, well done for doing it so far, think you are going to have to have a serious conversation as others have said, not easy I know, but at least everyone will know where they stand .good luck

Rhinestone, you call your grandchild "the infant"

Says it all really

No you are not a bad granddad, you have brought your own children up, now it's time for you to enjoy your retirement. Xxx

I don't think you're a "bad Granddad", I would find it hard to look after young children, luckily I lived too far away from DD when DGS was small.

I think each situation is different, I moved to be nearer my DD 2 years ago but I have my own life to lead. I am often out with friends or exploring on my own. I will probably be called on to help when DGS2 is born as it seems likely DD will have a "ceasar", her OH doesn't drive

I love my DGS but he is a "livewire" & my energy levels don't match his

No, no, no, you are not a bad Gp. You have done your time bringing up your children and now you are retired its time for You. Your family have made the chouce to have a family and they must now accept that its their responsibility to bring them up and not expect you to do a big share of it. For a start its tiring at our age, we can't bear children at our age for a readon so why are we expected to take a share in bringing up the gc. Offer to maybe have them one a month for the weekend, no ore, and lethem make other arrangements for childcare.

I never had this opportunity. Web cam communication,thank goodness for the internet.Four thousand miles away? not recommended for baby sitting.So please forgive me for my lack of sympathy. It may be tiring at times but would you have wanted it any different? They are not babies or five year olds for ever.

I think you have acted above and beyond the call of duty, in short a wonderful grandad, so do not beat yourself up. The big problem for grandparents is when childcare becomes a regular commitment rather than an occasional helping out. Our offspring can be very selfish in not realising that a) we need the freedom to do other things and b) energy levels are not the same as when we were parents of young children.

I dont think it is backward looking to expect people to take care of their own kids, so what they have a career, isn't family life more important? Why have kids if your career is more important?

If you want to have it all at least have the decency to pay for proper child care and not expect other people to do it all for free, unless they get particular pleasure from doing so.

Men can raise their own kids and let career wives go back to work, it is not anti women working, it is about people taking real responsibility for the lives invited into this world.

So many people now want weekends off and holidays away, wait for those things until the kids are older or don't have kids at all. The RSPCA won't let you have a dog, if you are not home part of the day. We have become such a consumer society, children like everything else dispensible and second place to heaven only knows what the next fad is.

I know some people have to work, I had to, I worked as much as possible around the kids but to live, not to go on holidays and spa days and other junkets, hen nights now are a weekend away. What happened to the grown ups?

I see the children in the village here, dropped off or breakfast club, picked up after homework club, stuck in holiday club.......they are like battery hens forever in a school building.

Nobody invites friends round then goes off out, but we have come to accept that children are just an inconveneince, to be farmed out in order not to tie us down.

No wonder they are so glad when a pervert shows them a little attention on FB.........being a mother is the most important career ever

GD5766 please do not feel guilty. At least at a job you would get paid. We took care of two children once a week. Then we took care of elderly parents twice a week. So we had three days to ourselves. It was not enough. I didn't retire to be depressed and tired for free. I could have stayed working and got a paycheck for it. LOL
Someone said it correctly. If our children would sacrifice in their lives maybe they wouldn't have money problems. But I don't see that in this generation. They wait longer to have children so they have gotten accustomed to trips and material things. Why would they want to pay a sitter when Grammy and Grandpa can do it for free.
We stopped sitting for one of the children after three years as they had two other mums to do so. It was exhausting having to set a clock for seven, get in the car and drive twenty minutes to pick up the infant. After eight hours we had to drive him back. NO ONE CARED THAT WE DID ALL THE WORK.

When my daughter became pregnant I said straight away I couldn't do regular childcare but would be happy to help out babysitting now and then and obviously any time in an emergency. She went on to have three kids but moved away. I hated saying it but I had to set ground rules. We are just back from looking after them for three days in school holidays which was a pleasure because it doesn't happen every week. I just think u need to stress that you no longer feel fit enough to look after them every week, but would do in an emergency, and set whatever times u feel up to doing.
Perhaps they even don't want to hurt your feelings by suggesting it's too much, and would be glad for you to do much less hours. Stick to whatever you're comfy with, make it clear it's because it's now to much for you, and give them time to make arrangements. Then your grandchildren will be a pleasure not a chore.

You must stick to your guns! My mother made it crystal clear that baby sitting etc was a no go area. It didn't offend me .... Honesty is the best policy. But she was a fabulous grandma who enjoyed her time with my offspring when we were around. It made perfect sense to me and still does.

Yet we have our DGS 3 afternoon sessions each week. 4+ years now .... The house is wrecked! Hurry up September when full time school starts. Ah bless the little ones ?????????

I am quite glad I love a distance from both DDs
We have made it clear that if GC arrive we will be available for emergencies
If it meant my daughters could go back to a hard won career and keep a toe on the ladder (as no doubt everyone one would expect the putative fathers to)I would willingly contribute to childcare costs

But wait... do you get to see your gc any other times if you're not babysitting? Would it matter to you if you saw them less often, maybe just on holidays? Something to think about before you speak up. If you're ok with that, then, by all means, let the parents know you're done.

I love watching my gc but not everybody feels the same way! You're not a "bad granddad," just not into babysitting. Not fair for you to have to spend hours of your time doing something you don't enjoy, and not fair to the kids to have to spend time with someone who doesn't like taking care of them.

So I'm with those who say let the parents know how you feel and ask them to make other arrangements. Give them time to find someone reliable, etc. Hopefully, they will realize this is best for all.

Sadly, childcare with Grandparents is equated with how much you love your DGC. Of course it isn't but one's offspring tend to be a little sensitive about it. I'd approach the subject along the lines of "feeling overwhelmed", getting older, etc. Stress how much you love them but you just can't manage a regular commitment.