granchidren moving away

Sometimes their being prepared to keep in touch with you can outweigh distance. I rarely hear from my DS's family, yet DD posts almost daily updates on my grandson's weaning, so it becomes a conversation even at a distance. Explain that you would love to have really regular instant messaging, photos etc. I does help.

300 miles is a long way in the UK to get to the sea side. I guess they are moving for a differnt quality of life, which may be the best thing for the GC, and ...........lucky you your D and SIL seem like a solid couple.

Sometimes everything has to end for something else to happen, maybe not for you but for them.

Plenty of cheapish ways to travel..........enjoy different things and perhaps the knowledge that you loved family have a better option available to them.

This all sounds great, but health problems for many grandparents, plus the cost of petrol/ travel sometimes means that the younger family are the ones that will need to make the visits.Especially as time goes on.
I must admit to feeling lucky that we are so near our own DC/DGC, and in fact we did retire 'away' but came back at their request, and now are just part of their lives, and their ability to pop in and see us is lovely.
If your DC do move away, and you need to stay put ( or want to, as many do) then being able to phone, Skype etc is a great thing.Communication is so much better now than it used to be.I had to write a letter every week to my own Grandparents, not because I had to I wanted to, but they didn't have a phone and was the only way to keep in touch.

We can't wait for the day when we can visit our children's children in exotic places! We feel it is so down to the GPs to make the effort to visit, and will not expect the departed family to keep returning to their old abode for our sakes.

My parents moved 350 miles away from their home town when my brother and I were just of school age, and undoubtedly our grandparents missed the weekly visits we used to have, but our excitement when we made our three times a year trips to visit family and grandparents was tremendous, and we loved having our grandparents to ourselves for an intense week of being spoiled. In time our grandparents, both sets, used to come and stay for a month in the long summer holidays, we thought of it as a wonderful time and no doubt my parents liked having live in child care and babysitters for a few weeks! Take this as an opportunity to change and improve your relationship with your grandchildren, we used to really love our trips and their visits.

So true, M0nica. My mother in law was dead set against our 200 mile move to the coast as a young family. She felt we were tearing her GCs away from her (not that she showed much interest in them anyway!), she hardly ever came to visit even though we had a large house in a beautiful setting, she purposely spent all her holidays in Spain to get her own back. The result was she alienated herself from the family and her GCs, who now have children of their own, never give her a thought.
Be warned!

M0nica That's actually a wonderful outlook.
It's how I hope to raise my children and how my mum is as well.

Excellent post, M0nica and my feelings( and experience) exactly.
Saidy17, you are fortunate to have had all your family so near for so long. 300 miles is not that far and public transport is not bad. Enjoy the adventure of visiting them and hearing about their adventures and discoveries.

Both my grand children live 200 miles, and always have. You can phone and skype.

Our children will always move on mentally, and often physically, when they grow up, think what you were like at their age, and grandchildren even further as they grow up. In the past the mother who made her children and grand children the centre of her life was considered the 'perfect' mother, despite the desolation and mental illness that often followed when children moved away.

I learnt from my MiL, the more you encourage your children to go off and lead their own lives, the closer (mentally) they stay.

We moved 300 miles away when DD was 3months old. We spent a lot of the time with very little money but the children had a wonderful childhood. We phoned regularly and saw the grandparents several times a year. We all missed each other but we did have some wonderful times.

Yes, I didn't know that you had other DC and DGC living near you Saidy which changes things really, as far as moving is concerned.Just enjoy trips to see them, but I do see how miserable you feel, when you have all been so close.

Thanks for your kind messages life goes on I'm sure I will get used to it and behable to spend quality time with them all in there new home and new part of the country ..once again thank you it has helped me x

The OP has sons and other grandchildren who live near to her anyway so she's not likely to move to be with her daughter.

It's just a matter of adjustment, I'm sure you'll come to terms with the situation soon, Saidy

I would caution against moving to be near your GC ... for one thing we live in a much more mobile society. Our adult children move around a lot more than our parents/grandparents. I think I'm a bit 'alarmed' by the 'You can always move to be near them' advice..... my parents moved twice to be 'near' me. I began to think I would never be allowed to live my own life.
I've spent the first 7 years of my only GS's life 700 miles away. Now I live just around the corner .... and you know what? Going to see 'Gramma' and Grandad was a treat, to be planned, talked on Skype about, sleeps counted down to, and once, on the travelator at Stansted Airport, declared the 'Best day of my whole life!' 'Gramma' now is just someone who occasionally picks him from school,helps him with his homework and tells him off for treating her sitting room as a parkour circuit. I've lost my 'fun status'. My advice would be to stay put, and be a fun grandma to visit, or who comes to visit.

It's a huge adjustment for everyone, of course you are worried for them and yes, of course you will miss them. Change is hard and even harder when it isn't our choice. Be interested in their plans, smile even if you don't feel like it, as others have said research the area they are going to and particularly research travel options. Saidy If you have cared for your grandchildren five days a week since birth of course it will be a huge wrench, but you know as they get older we do tend to see less of them, they have busy lives and grandparents are less needed for child care. There is some good advice here, but for now perhaps just let the news settle, your posts have the sense of newness about them, try to believe that you will adjust in time. I know its hard but I also know you want the best for them all, your visits can be joyous. It will be different I know but not necessarily bad. Be brave, they are being very brave, even if they dont realise it just yet.

While the quantity of visits may be shorter the quality will be brilliant.
Your arrival will be exciting and enjoyable for them. The children will want to have fun with their visiting nan and you may be able to relax more as a visitor than as a care provider.
Rather than brief vsits you may be able to enjoy longer more relaxed ones.
And you've now got yourself a lovely little holiday by the sea to look forward to

It is hard when your child moves away. My son lives in Canada, so I don't get to see him and his wife often apart from weekly Skype calls. They are expecting their first child in June, so I obviously won't be seeing my grandchild often either.
When my son moved to Canada 14 years ago I wished him well. He was very happy going, even if I was really upset about it. I never showed it though, and we still have a fantastic relationship.

My eldest son lives over 100 miles away, and he has two children, who again I don't see often. But we still all have a very close relationship despite the miles apart.

You can keep in touch in so many ways nowadays, so wish your daughter well, and tell your grandchildren how fantastic it will be living near the sea, and how they can show you around their new house when you visit.

I do think that, while it has come as a shock, you should be happy for them - think of the fun the children will have by the sea. And for you? - lots of nice seaside holidays in accommodation near to them - sounds brilliant! Enjoy what you can and give them your blessing.

Thanks for the possative comments they are much appreciated x

I agree, see it as an adventure, you can visit them using train or coach and stay over. Time with the family and a holiday. Time for you and your husband to try new leisure activities and hobbies, life will not stop because your family has moved. They need to do what they see is best for them as a family, wish them well.

Of course l will miss my daughter she is my world ..and yes our granchildren play a massive part in our daily life .although we still have a great life together as a couple we like to travel when we can other family members help out when we go away .and yes they are doing what' they believe to be the best for there children .are we supposed to be helping and supporting each other on this site or have I got it wrong my family are the most precious thing on earth l also have two sons who l love dearly and there children whom live close bye that dosnt alter the fact that my daughter and her family are moving away will not upset me ...We are close and have always counted myself and my husband to be very lucky I'm sure everything will work out well for them but that will not stop a mother worrying .

You may wish to live by the sea too Saidy? Ask your DH what he thinks about that.
Then ask your DD what she thinks about it.If it is a practical move, for instance, you could then buy an apartment or bungalow there, and enjoy life in a seaside town.
I know that you can't keep moving around ( if they do) but this move could be a whole new lease of life for you.
If that is not possible for any reason, then take coach trips, or rail trips to see them in the future, no driving needed.Good Luck.?

Thank you x

While I feel sorry for you, I do wonder about people on GN who seem to focus their whole life on their grandchildren. What about your daughter, wont you miss her? What about your husband, maybe he will miss them to, maybe he will be glad your life doesnt revolve around the grandchildren, how ever much you both love them. Your daughter and her husband are doing what they think is right for their family, as you surely did at the same stage, and you should be wishing them well with the new adventure and share it with them. See it as an opportunity to have some great seaside holidays!