Tired Granny

I admitted I was struggling and dgs ended up with chilminders and I ended up lonely as now I seldom see them. I suspected I was only of use to childmind and I fear I was right. Sometimes I think I am my own worst enemy!!

Dot that sounds absolutely exhausting. I think it's time you sat down with your daughter and negotiated some time off on a regular basis. The support you are giving your family is brilliant but you need to have a life as well. Our children often take us for granted without realising it and it seems this has happened with you.
Take care of yourself as well as your family.

I know how exhausting GC are. I have 6 & although they do not come on a weekly basis all the time (I do pick up from school once a week & they do stay over a lot!) However when I feel I am too tired to cope any more I think of some of my friends who have GC in US, Australia, Japan etc & would give their eye teeth to have them at home.
It doesn't go on forever- already I have one who will soon not be needing me anymore & I find that very sad even if it is natural & the way it should be.
Plus they all seem to amuse themselves a lot now with these damned electronic devices & my phone is not safe from the 2 year old unless locked away!

I feel sad that some grans are taken for granted and seem to bend over backwards to provide almost full-time childcare. I'm sure most adult children are appreciative but do any of you who are genuinely exhausted and have high anxiety levels ever tell your children how you feel?

Or in the words of Victoria do you think

And of course, we all want to do well and please our offspring.

I took early retirement almost two years ago at 59 as my ex son in law had left my daughter as a single parent with three kiddies and she works full time. I live with them (our new house will have an annexe for me) and yes, it is exhausting. I get up first and make breakfast, put the washing on, dry the washing from the last load I put on before going to bed and get the packed lunches I made last night out of the fridge ready to go. After a lot of shouting my granddaughters appear and then grumpy grandson (13) and finally daughter! I deal with granddaughters and she gets herself ready and nags grandson to get ready as she drops him off on her way to work. After walking the girls to school I do the housework, often walk to town to pick up more food supplies and do yet more washing. By Friday evening I am shattered. The weekend follows much the same pattern. My daughter tells me I need to learn to drive as this would make life (whose I wonder) so much easier as I could take granddaughters then drop grandson off as well. I do remind my daughter that they are my grandchildren not my children and that I am not 38 like her but I am pretty sure it falls on deaf ears. Yesterday she came home at 6pm and said she had forgotten she was going out with work friends - she got herself ready and went. I don't mind her going out, in fact I am glad to see her enjoying herself as she has gone to hell and back thanks to ex son in law's antics, but it would be nice to have some notice! As I am often the one to deal with spats between the kiddies and get homework etc done, bedrooms tidied, clothes put away/picked up (not at all a popular move) I get told I am a horrid Nan etc, I do feel envious sometimes of those Gransnetters who still have the best of times with their grandkiddies.

I was 51 when my first grandchild was born and 58 with the last one.The difference in how I feel after having them is shocking. With the oldest we'd go swimming, to the park,do other activities and yes I was tired at the end of the day but nicely tired.
With the youngest I was 60 and tried to do all these things again but I was exhausted,really exhausted andI have no more health problems than At 50.

We live too far away to be of help routinely. Sometimes I feel we're missing out and other times, like when reading this thread, I feel we get off lightly. Maybe there's no ideal solution.

We look after DGS one day a week at his house. We leave home at 6.30am ( up to an hours drive) to get there before DSD goes to work. Some days her partner gets home relatively early, more often after 5.00pm, sometimes it's 6.15pm. Makes for a long day, with the added stress of needing to take our 2 dogs with us. We have to try to keep them separated from DGS, mainly for the sake of his toys (dog1 is an inveterate chewer!). This is not helped by them having no internal doors so it's a baby gate and a barricade for the stairs. We go out at least twice a day so the dogs get exercised, but it's a struggle with the pushchair and/or car seat. It's very tiring but we love spending time with him, he is an absolute joy.

I am 71 years old, and up until,recently was looking after my 16month old grandson for one day a week, doing a ten hour shift.

I can quite honestly say that I have never felt so exhausted in all my life after they had left, and also the next day.
Just getting them ready to go out in buggy etc, then running around like a maniac trying to catch him to put him back in buggy. It's tiring.

Even now whenever I am asked to look after him, and I do enjoy it sometimes, but on the other hand, I know the feeling of exhaustion that will follow afterwards.

Ten years ago it might have been different, but my energy levels have depleted somewhat, especially as I am a poor sleeper.
All this combined, can make us grans quite anxious.
And of course, we all want to do well and please our offspring.

Promise yourself a prosecco and a takeaway when they'e gone home. You deserve a treat!

My mum saw one of her older sisters being completely taken advantage of for free childcare to the extent it affected her health, and I was told in no uncertain terms that although they would be happy to help out with some childcare, they would not provide full time childcare. I completely understood this. I still work full time so cannot provide childcare all the time, but will help out when I can.

It also helps that as with GlamM, it's a case of our house our rules as long as kids are safe and happy. D is just so grateful that we live just around the corner and are hands on GPs.

Fortunately our D is a stay at home so on a regular basis we have only ever done an afternoon slot and yes it is exhausting. It's not just the physical side but also the responsibility. I think the responsibility bit was different when it's your own. Love them to bits, always pleased to see them come and then always pleased to see them go :-)

I am a young glama , not yet 49 and I have my GS 2nights & 3 full days a week. I've looked after him a lot since he was born and it's a joy , he is used to me staying here and now he just turned 1 it's all go! Honestly on a Friday night around 7 when my son and DIL come to pick him up I am shattered. But it's the best kind of tired , my DIL says your house your rules , as long as he is happy content and fed well what we do is down to me. And that makes the whole thing easier.

I'm 55 and do 3 mornings before school and the same after school for a couple of hours which is ok but I also look after my 2 year old grandson for I full day and 1 half day per week. I find that completely exhausting. Especially the full day. I literally can't move after he's gone! Much as I adore my grandchildren I find it completely draining looking after them. I too suffer from Anxiety and I think the extra worry of being responsible for their safety coupled with my usual anxiety is too much. If I had my way I'd choose not to do the formal childcare. I feel guilty saying that!

We used to have GS and then later two Gds for one day a week it was tiring but I kept to a pretty fixed routine so I didn't have to think too hard and they knew what was going to happen which seemed to keep things calm. GS always had a long afternoon sleep, I think he was making up for the days at nursery! It all passes very quickly and now our house is quiet most of the time.

When I read all the posts about how exhausting it is looking after grandchildren it makes me quite thankful I work full-time so I'm unavailable ?

What happened to the afternon naps that kids used to take? They are full on now non stop all day...........love them but it is shattering at times and I don't do it very often.

Thanks Anya.

Yes, lol! Love when I get to watch my dgc, but it can be exhausting! As pps have said, however, it changes as they get older. Someday they will be all grown up and too busy for us. Then we will miss these childhood days, won't we?

Just done a shift with dgd I'm knackered, I couldn't manage another so im glad dd has said that 1 is enough. Why are they so exhausting.

I feel your pain! today I had my DGDs from 7.30 till 6.30, one is 4 and one is 1. I am exhausted, I love them more than life itself, but 11 hours of the little treasures is very hard work! Littlest one slept for 2 hours, but then its craft and cooking time! Even the weather was against me, pouring rain!

I childmind children from 2 years-12 years usually from 7am-7pm each day. On a Friday night I finish at 6pm and two of my grandsons arrive to stay over and go swimming on the Saturday morning. Sometimes they only stay Friday night, sometimes Friday and Saturday. For childmindees I have to meet Care Inspectorate criteria, for the grandchildren it's "my house, my rules" as someone else has posted.
I enjoy it. It's tiring but I feel privileged to be able to spend this time with them and not being mum means I'm a step removed so don't get as stressed out over their behaviours as I did with my own children. But also I think I got stressed with my own because I had to work as well as bring them up. Now I just get to play

Just to add, dd has never imposed any particular 'rules', and I wouldn't have undertaken any childcare if there had been rules I considered daft or over the top. I would never give Gdd anything sugary, but once or twice when I've been hard pressed she's certainly had microwave chips for lunch, and I must say I find CBeebies a godsend! God bless Mr Tumble and all who sail in him...

I'm far more relaxed with my grandsons than I was with their mum. They're aghast at her stories of how strict I was, so she knows I won't stand for any nonsense.
We have very similar views, luckily.