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Grandparenting

Tired Granny

(116 Posts)
hopeful1 Fri 03-Mar-17 07:58:03

I do appreciate how lucky I am, I adore my GC, just would like to have more energy. Sometimes my anxious side looks for reassurance that I am doing OK, the support on here really helps . Now I know it is not just me and have acquired invaluable tips on the way. Love Gransnet.

Marenn Fri 03-Mar-17 01:27:50

Like Hopehope said, I'd like to find out how tiring caring for grandchildren could be.

Hopehope Thu 02-Mar-17 23:52:50

I am sure it is very tiring, but I for one would relish the chance to find out sad

MargaretX Thu 02-Mar-17 21:49:51

I found looking after my own 2 yr olds exhausting, and the grandchildren even more so but I never had such a long day with them, and not every week. No wonder modern Mums put them into child care at one year old.

I refused to provide entertainment as well, I took them to the shops or the park like with my own and then I expected them to play on their own, but then I was over 65 when I became a grandmother.
Hope it gets easier hopeful1

tanith Thu 02-Mar-17 21:15:45

I don't know how you all do it I know it would exhaust me I take my hat off to you all.

Jalima Thu 02-Mar-17 21:02:25

We sometimes did 11 hours in a day! They are at school now and I miss them, although I did find it exhausting keeping them safe and entertained all day. However, the DGD are very good at using their imagination and entertaining themselves.
We still do occasional days in the holidays and school pickups now.
ps I am a lot older than you hopeful hmm - 70+

Luckygirl Thu 02-Mar-17 20:36:46

You are definitely not alone! I have a 4 year old one day a week and a 22 month old another day. And I suspect that when the older one goes to school in September I might be needed for some pick-ups.

We feel very tired after each of our care days, but luckily one is Monday and the other is Friday, so plenty of recuperation time.

We do love having them and being such a close part of their lives is something to be treasured.

It is of course more difficult looking after someone else's children - you are very conscious indeed of having to keep them safe. I try and involve them in the ordinary things of the household, rather than entertain them, but there are times when they have to sit in front of Sarah and Duck or Ivy (sic) the Engine while I take a breather.

It is a great joy and a privilege - but a tiring one.

Norah Thu 02-Mar-17 20:27:02

hopeful1 Of course GC make many GPs tired, we're older than when we had our children. I had my first child over 55 years ago - I was spry, now GC exhaust me.

I make sure I eat good protein at breakfast and wear arch supporting trainers.

Eleven hrs at one go is a lot, can someone help you have time for a restful lunch?

Grannyben Thu 02-Mar-17 20:23:30

Can I join the exhausted group as well please! I work 2 consecutive days then I have day 3 to get over them. Day 4, I have my youngest grandchild and then day 5 is spent getting over day 4. Day 6, I have my oldest grandchild and day 7 is spent getting over day 6 and preparing myself for the trauma of going to work. I am in a permanent state of exhaustion but I know how lucky I am to have our 2 beautiful little boys in my life. My daughter trusts me with them and she's told her sister she doesn't know what she would do without me (we still have the odd dispute but that's life!). I know how quickly my own children grew up and became independent so, exhausted or not, I'm going to grab every opportunity I can to have them in my life

hopeful1 Thu 02-Mar-17 20:20:34

Brilliant idea Ilovecheese, perhaps I will look on it as voluntary work for a while, puts more of a framework to it all.

hopeful1 Thu 02-Mar-17 20:17:01

Thank you for your replies. I do try and stick to mum's rules together with trying to prevent the 2 year old from killing himself, it is certainly not as relaxing as caring for my own 2! If I see the GP again I think she will put me down lol, my anxiety is just that... anxiety.. it just adds to the mix to wear me out. I suppose I just want reassurance I am not alone in the tiredness way and would love to know how others manage and maintain some sort of 'normal' life too.

Iam64 Thu 02-Mar-17 20:08:05

HildaW - I took so long typing my post, yours appeared to I x posted. Sorry about that , i think we made similar comments about the fact that much as we love and enjoy the baby days, we don't relax as much as we ought to, for our own as well as the children's good.

Ilovecheese Thu 02-Mar-17 20:07:58

2 years olds are lovely, but yes, they are exhausting. I am assuming that you want to carry on looking after him, and taking your granddaughter to school, so how about thinking of it in a different way. What about thinking that you are not quite retired yet, that you will retire when you are 60, but in the meantime carry on doing a really hard job for 2 days a week. By the time you are 60, he will be going to school, your granddaughter will be 11 and may no longer need taking to school, so you can start your retirement proper then.

Iam64 Thu 02-Mar-17 20:01:51

Yes, I get tired and I only do one full day, which is usually a long one. All the grandparents I know love being in a position to help out their adult children and love being with their grandchildren. I don't know anyone who doesn't find it very tiring.
I wonder if we are inclined to do too much entertaining of our grandchildren, as well as that feeling that you can't take your eyes off them in case they do damage to themselves. With our own children we were probably much more relaxed ! I hope you're managing to get some time for yourself x

HildaW Thu 02-Mar-17 20:01:43

hopeful1....I do not think its an age thing. There is something particularly exhausting about caring for grandchildren I think the extra anxiety of getting it wrong and having to explain to the parents. It need only be a misunderstanding about what to feed them or what to let them watch....but it does seem to many to make the whole thing a lot more stressful.
All anxiety is draining - the hormones can wreak havoc...so coupled with doing best for your grandchildren I'm not surprised....and no you are not alone.
However, you could be a bit run down - iron levels or just not used to the sheer physicality of youngsters. Try and pace yourself a bit more and perhaps a trip to check your iron levels!

hopeful1 Thu 02-Mar-17 19:51:07

I am wondering how other Grandparents cope with looking after the Grandchildren. I look after a 2 year old GS 2 days a week from 7 til 6 on average and drop off and pick up my 8 year old GD for school then care. I am finding this really exhausting even though I am only 57. I have got to the stage that after a full day with them I need the next day recovering and do little else, I am lucky that I was able to take early retirement. I love them dearly and put a lot of effort into making their days worthwhile. I do suffer from anxiety so work hard at not letting it control my life however this is not quite how I envisaged retirement. Do others feel like this.