Hello fellow Grans, I'm not sure what I'm expecting, but I've just had a heart-rending email from my DD, who has an autistic 8-year old son as well as two other gorgeous children. DGS is adorable, sensitive and very bright, but his melt-downs are epic, and my poor DD cannot deal with them anymore. DGS has become far more aggressive when upset, hitting himself, her and anyone else, as well as throwing things, screaming and crying for hours. DD used to be able to control his melt-downs by holding him tightly until he calmed down, and I know he adores his mum.
Anyway, this email said that DD is struggling to cope, and that she's beginning to resent him for making things difficult for the other two children. DGD is nearly 14 and has little time for her brother, the other DGS is nearly 4 and knows exactly what buttons to press to wind his brother up.
My daughter said she would have gladly run away tonight if SiL had been home, but he was working. He has autism himself to a mild extent, and is no real help dealing with all the problems, although he is a lovely man who works very hard.
There is nothing I can say to my daughter, as I don't know how she can be helped. She's been through the hoops she has to go through to get help for DGS - who also has epilepsy - and I live 6 hours away, so can't help physically.
Does anyone have any ideas on what to do to help? It's a huge ask, as autism is such a huge spectrum. I needed to offload, as my DD does to me (and I'm so grateful she feels she can, as I couldn't with my mother). Thanks for reading.
