In March of this year I wrote to you with a problem. I wanted to give you an update and thankfully some closure!
For those of you who joined in, the issue was about minding our fourteen year old twin grandchildren for an entire week. The girl has a lot of friends and accommodating her social life became a challenge. My post was that I didn't know how to confront the issue without creating a serious conflict with my daughter.
As it happens, DD and our SIL are now travelling to Europe for ten days and they're leaving next week. We get the first five days and their other grandmother will watch them for the remainder.
Many of you wrote with good advice as to how to handle it for next time. Well I took it and had a 'talk' with my daughter. At first, I was met with hostility and defensive comments "....I have a different style of parenting etc. etc....she's afraid she'll be a 'prisoner'" and so on and so forth. (That conversation didn't end well). I told her in no uncertain terms that if we were going to watch them, both had to abide by our rules. She didn't exactly hang up on me, but said she had to go and then she hung up. I later got a text saying she could pay a sitter to watch them on the weekend until the other grandmother comes and we only had to watch them for three school days.
I responded by saying we had no problem watching them for the full five days including weekend as long as they abide by very simple rules i.e They have to concur that we are the adults, that we are responsible for them while parents are away, and that the adults have the last say...not the fourteen year olds!
DD responded with a very long (text) letter Letter that included GD asking permission for two or three planned activities. I said that was fine as long as there were no last minute surprises or changes in plans. She agreed. We were then told how much they appreciate our help, how much they love us etc. etc. End of story
So thank you my dear gransnet friends.... the advice you gave me was right on!
PS. I often give other people advice with such surety. Funny how one loses all semblance of clarity when a problem is up close and personal.
. Wishing you all a happy visit with less worry and exhaustion.
Good Morning Saturday 20th April 2024
