overweight 3 year old

Don't say anything. They will of course already be aware of the problem and may quietly be trying to improve his eating habits. They may be worried about it too so don't make things worse or you will certainly regret it.

paddyann I agree with your post. Food could become an obsession rather than something to enjoy which fuels our bodies and, whilst it is good for children to know what is good for them and what to eat less of, it can be taken too far.

I think best to say nothing at the moment too. Introduce him to healthier snacks if the chance arises ...cheese flavoured or raisin oatcakes are a good example ...! But sadly don't assume it will get better or he will grow out of it! My nephews weight was raised with his parents soon after he started school; however his parents didn't listen! Now he is 10 and enormous ....and allowed to eat what he likes! Sadly, some find it hard to say no to children..or hear wise advice. He's such a nice child but I fear for him at secondary school and he has already suffered bullying at primary! So ...maybe think about ways to support him and his parents once he starts school ...pick up on the healthy eating lessons he will have and use those maybe to introduce the subject? It is so hard when one has to watch a problem but just wait ....!

Good post paddyann yes, the healthy eating message can be taken too far.
I would say now't to the parents in this case Grannyjac

Agree with pps - let the professionals give the advice. The parents will take it better from them. But you can provide healthy snacks if gs is at your house and maybe some activities that give him some exercise.

Travelsofar, I think you might mention the breathlessness to ds, but say nothing about weight. If the loss of breath concerns him, he'll make the connection. If he doesn't see it, he may, at least, ask the doctor. Otherwise, same advice as to the op. But caution on the activities, in your gd's case, as you don't want her to wear her out or make her dislike visiting you.

Thanks for all your helpful suggestions, most of which echoed what I was thinking anyway - it's good to have instincts re-enforced and to feel that I'm probably doing the right thing. We do lots of trips to the park and, now that his baby sister has the buggy, he is walking a lot more too.

I think the healthy eating message is school is excellent. Let's hope it helps stem the obesity epidemic for future generations.

to be honest I dont think all the "healthy eating" talk at school is good,my 7 year old GD is obsessed with food being "healthy" and that in itself isn't.She wants to know exactly whats in her yoghourts and counts strawberries so she doen't have too many etc.Its going to lead to a generation where they all have eating disorders .She was agood eater bfore the school started this ,ate most things now she wont eat ham because its"processed" and wants her chicken poached or steamed ! That to me is not healthy ,she's growing she needs to eat a good balanced diet,we've all heard of kids from families where they get all wholemeal stuff, muesli ,limited carbs ,restriction on eggs etc and there are kids from those familes who have malnutrition.My neice is vegan and we were all concerned at how she fed her child,the teacher called her in and asked what the wee one was eating as she looked "transparent" turned out she was very anemic ,so care is needed

ajanela I think dried fruit is better than sweets etc, it was just a warning about giving teeth a good scrub afterwards as they can stick especially to the back teeth!

Do nothing !! If there is a problem it will be addressed as soon as he starts school. Our daughter was wand slim, our son was a 'chunky', both had the same diet when growing up. When our son was 4 he contracted measles and was very poorly, hence the weight slipped away. After that I had to make his school trousers because he was tall for his age but very skinny! Since then his physique has not changed; when he was going through puberty he could eat for England (and did!).
He's now 41, very active and still the same shape.
Don't be over anxious at this stage, it will be picked up, and you'll be able to be supportive and offer suggestions to help the family.

As an adult fighting a losing battle with weight most of my adult life, the most recent helpful reminder which has really struck home with me is the proportion of carbs, protein and fruit/veg on each plateful of food I eat during the day. I think it's a most useful message to give to children from a very early age, and I see my own DIL reinforcing it with my DGS at barely one - maybe make a game of it with your grandchild - draw circles and divide them with one quarter protein (meat/fish/eggs), one quarter carbs (potatoes/rice/pasta) and ONE HALF veg. Anyone eating consistently like this will control weight!

I used to think dried fruit was healthy too, one Halloween, I tried offering those little packets or satsumas to the children who came to the door. You can imagine how well that went!

One of my DS was overweight until he was 15 ish and then he lost the excess and has become a slim adult. He always liked his food! I didn't ever say anything to him.

Be careful - my MIL used to refer to my DD as "fat" in her hearing (whilst also offering her chocolate biscuits etc). She never seemed to take it in at the time but in fact she did and, as she got older, it has just added to her poor self esteem. This ultimately led to an eating disorder which was, at one point, close to being fatal. I am not blaming MIL for that but it was just one more thing. Your GC is only 3 and hopefully will slim down as he gets older.

You can start by not saying anything at all. When you know they are coming over for a visit, keep only healthy snacks at hand. Be smart. Many healthy goods come in really eye catching wrappers today. Use that!!

Sorry about the dried fruits. Thought it was better than sweets chocolate and biscuits, also good for "pooh"

It's true that overweight children and adolescents often grow up to be unhealthy, obese adults with high blood pressure and bad hearts. It's also true that childhood obesity and adults with type 2 diabetes seem to go hand in hand. Yet, many others grow up to be normal sized, healthy adults, so no need to hit the panic button, yet.

Talking to the parents will likely cause them additional grief and anxiety without changing the outcome. They are probably struggling with this more than you may realize. If the child is seeing his pediatrician regularly and your son and DIL are not being outright reckless, it's more likely that an intervention on your part would adversely affect your relationship and not affect much else.

I was overweight throughout most of my stressful childhood and with hindsight I feel I was comfort-eating. Do what you can to ensure your grandson is happy, confident and carefree and encourage fruit-eating. Then when he starts school his weight should take care of itself.

NEVER give advice unless you are asked for it! You don't have to provide unhealthy snacks and you can encourage him to take exercise, but otherwise, LEAVE WELL ALONE!

I have been on the other end of this, and all I say is: DON'T. You are a grandparent not a parent, you had your turn, and unless your opinion/advice is sought, then it really isn't your business to involve yourself, as much for your own benefit as anyone else's.

Yes don't give dried fruit as snacks as it is very high in sugar - also over 20 years ago the dentist warned me about "raisin tooth" syndrome where well meaning people give little packs of raisins thinking they are "healthy" but they stick and cause major tooth decay

And dried fruit does stick to the teeth and rots them more quickly than sweeties do (according to dentist).

It's fine if his teeth get cleaned by an adult after eating the dried fruit, which is full of good minerals.

Totally agree with everything here but what has the world come to when we dare not give advice re healthy weight! !

I agree about a lot of things that are being said. I think you should leave things alone. What you could do when they come to visit is to have some healthy snacks in the kitchen and if he shows an interest then he can try them.
When he gets to nursery and onto school he could lose the weight anyway.
Having worked in a school I know that some parents had been spoken to about their child's weight and givien advice.

I love cheese I was just about to say exactly that dried fruit is calorific the process of drying it makes the sugar content higher and much much better to give fresh fruit