I don't feel like I'm winning and if my daughter was in genuine recovery I would not mind even though I would miss him like hell and have to grieve the grief will be different with CONCERN , anger and worry mixed in with it
If little man is happy back with his Mum then maybe that is winning , would just prefer it if she did more work on herself first but she is doing the bare minimum and acting and lying her way through , comes clean when FOUND OUT but then carries on living her double life again seemingly thinking or even knowing she can get away with it!!!
It seems common that the addicts do the bare minimum to get their kid/s returned , then the family member/s spend the rest of their lives worrying if there is going to be another serious episode or if their loved one is properly cared for to which the answer is NO but it's not serious enough to remove the child so they have to SUCK IT UP!! 
Little man had 4 meltdowns today after visiting his Mum BUT this time it was because he did not want to leave and he wanted to be with his Mum and managed to say he misses her and ''wants Mummy''
So he is re bonding with her but I hope it is not to his detriment poor thing as if she let's him down there will be so much emotional fall out to deal with but I will continue to be his therapeutic environment in whatever way it is needed
He was angry with me today for taking him away from his Mum and bringing him home , so the upped contact has meant he has truly rebonded with her again which would not be a bad thing at all if it was a genuine recovery and she was not still lying about stuff
When I got to her house there was a man there who called her ''babe'' and kissed her on the lips when he left in a hurry as she did not know the social worker was coming round for today's visit till I told her when I got there , she pushed him away and said ''my Mum's watching'' so she must know I will report it as THREE DAYS AGO SHE TOLD SS WHEN ASKED THAT SHE IS NOT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER so that was quite obviously a load of bull but why LIE about it if he is some decent bloke she has met etc but this DOUBLE LIFE is doing my head in and I am glad he was gone by the time my GS got there
My GS does not understand about alcoholism and the things his Mum hides like her LIFESTYLE and to GO BACK to that lifestyle will NOT be good for him which is why I am fighting for him
It was always , visitors , noise , drink , chaos etc and even if she has calmed down a bit it is not TOTALLY and the bloke did not seem like Mr Wonderful to me
He would have to be CHECKED by SS so maybe he has something to hide and my daughter knows it!!
So who the hell will she be bringing around my GS , she mentioned one of her exes in front of the SW and said ''My Mum did not like him because he had 6 kids from 4 different women and I thought to myself NO the main reason I did not like him was because he was an ALCOHOLIC so not a good influence on her! ( Not with her own alcoholism ) but anyway , it has been pretty stressful for me as at supervision it feels like my care of my GS is being assessed as well as THE SW has started asking me questions about his care she did not ask before and my daughter is happy to bring up anything negative she finds like the scratch on his arm that both me and the school don't know how got there so my daughter is pointing out things implying it ''would not happen in HER CARE!'' LOL
Yeah right but could you deal with 4 meltdowns in a row while cuddled up with your boyfriend? And would HE be able to deal with it properly too??
I used to have to take my GS in the other room to give him a calm ,therapeutic environment for a while and we would cuddle up and watch his favourite cartoons until he fell asleep
I used to try and protect him from the world he was in but I could not protect him enough x
I will do my darndest to protect him now but I have a horrible feeling I will fail at that too because my daughter can prove her parenting is 'good enough' and he won't be at risk of SIGNIFICANT harm!!
xx
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