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Grandparenting

Trying not to worry but......

(32 Posts)
icbn2802 Thu 27-Jul-17 07:14:05

"Babymoon" must confess I've never heard of that term though have heard of new parents having a 'no visitors' rule for a number of days. Eeeek hope they're not planning one of those; don't like the sound of that at all......

seasider Thu 27-Jul-17 06:56:59

My friend was distraught when her son and daughter in law decided they would have a "babymoon" when their baby was born and allow no visitors for two weeks. After a few days of no sleep they contacted her for some support! Once your daughter's husband returns to work I am sure she will need your company and support. Just let her know you are there if she needs you.

icbn2802 Thu 27-Jul-17 06:37:45

Nothing has changed. I'm still so excited and cannot wait for the newest little bundle to arrive. I've just got a little more anxious.
I guess it just takes me back to when I was a new mum. My partner was not very supportive; pretty damn useless if I'm honest and I was very reliant on my mum and I guess where my daughter isn't so reliant on me basically because she doesn't need to be as her partner dotes on her and is very supportive. I suppose this could be why I'm anxious as to where i do & will fit in their lives.

Jalima1108 Wed 26-Jul-17 21:31:49

Oh dear, in your earlier thread about this you said you were so excited so I wonder what has changed?

Just be there for your DD if and when she needs you and don't forget that this baby will bring its own love with it - it won't mean that you will love your DGS less.

Penstemmon Wed 26-Jul-17 20:42:31

My DD1 was far more independent and stayed away from home as a teen/student/ 20 something far more than her sister who was more of a home girl! DD2 had her baby first but once DD1 had her first child we have become closer again and enjoy a very positive mother/daughter relationship. I cared for (& still do!) her two for 2 days a week when she returned to work. I think she truly appreciates her childhood & the parental love and care far more now she is a (fab) mum herself. Try not to worry..just be the loving mum you have always been.

Ilovecheese Wed 26-Jul-17 19:44:06

You might find that you become closer to your daughter when you are both mothers.
If the things she has been ambitious for have been career orientated or to do with money, they will not apply to having a baby.

She might have a good relationship with her mother in law, which is probably a good thing, but it's not the same as a mother/daughter relationship, more like a friend. What I mean is, your place as her mother will always be secure. You don't need to offer her anything other than being her mother.

icbn2802 Wed 26-Jul-17 17:08:48

My daughter is expecting her first baby in a few weeks time. As the date draws nearer I feel myself getting more & more anxious.
I have a 3 year old grandson so am not new to grandparenting but I can only wonder (worry) how different a relationship with the new baby I'll have when compared to all that I have with my gs. My daughters are very 'different' and I've often felt a little distant from the "expecting' daughter-as a child I could tell she was very ambitious & always striving for more & better than I could offer. I guess it's this feeling that I'm struggling with......the idea of not being good enough, important enough & I fear the relationship she has with her "mil" is stronger & more at the level she's always strived for. Don't get me wrong I love my daughters equally and would do anything for each and everyone one of them and I dare say my daughter would be distraught if she was aware of my anxieties-but think right now she's got more than enough to worry about without me adding to it.
I really don't want to be stressing over such trivialities, wish I could just take it all in my stride but I just keep thinking about it and we all know that over thinking any situation is never a good thing.